


Our little Kye; M/M/m age play

by xenabear



Series: Our Little Kye [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: ABDL, Adult little boy, Age Play, Caretaking, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Toddler, bottles, mental age regression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2018-02-19 09:12:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 75,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2382905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenabear/pseuds/xenabear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first work posted here!</p><p>Kyle is a young man who has been discharged from the Navy and has nowhere to go. His online friends come to meet him and take him in, quickly adopting the roles that they know they all desire as Daddies and their little. </p><p>The age regression is gradual, so bear with me if you find that Kyle acts too 'adultish' in the beginning. I promise he's just acclimating and there's much more to come!</p><p>If you wanna contact me by email: xenabearAO3@gmail.com</p><p><3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BRUIN](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BRUIN/gifts), [sayhesinLOVE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayhesinLOVE/gifts).



> Hi! This is my first fic on here and my first age play writing. Please leave your comments or suggestions, they will be much appreciated and valued!
> 
> If there's a direction or a short/drabble that you'd like to request to see, let me know. 
> 
> Thanks to Ricochet_Rowdon and sayhesinLOVE for the inspiration.
> 
> (Sorry, no Beta, please excuse lacking edits)

Kyle pushed his chair away from the computer and uncurled his body, arching backward with arms outstretched. Rubbing his scratchy eyes, he stood and stumbled down narrow halls toward his bunk. Soon he wouldn't have to be surrounded by pipes and white walls coated in innumerable layers of the same paint the Navy had probably been using since well before he was born. Lying in his cot that night his mind was too busy to permit even a wink of sleep. Instead, he stroked his rabbit's foot (a fake one; he'd never want to hurt a real bunny!) and reflected on his luck. Most sailors would be ashamed to be dishonorably discharged, but that would be dumb because he hadn't done anything bad. Lieutenant Evans had been very bad though, and Kyle made the mistake of seeking medical help. He really had just wanted someone to comfort him after the fifth time that Evans cornered him and did things that hurt and violated him. 

The only other people that he'd told were his best friend Sammy and his online friends Rob and Jay. Sammy had been irate when she heard what happened and wanted to fight for her friend, but he insisted that she keep herself safely detached from his predicament. It was only when she discovered that he would be leaving that she agreed to back down, although he knew that her drawer was overflowing with angry letters addressed to anyone with enough decoration on their uniform to have power. 

Rob and Jay were different, even Sammy didn't know just how different they were. Kyle had always dreamed of being nurtured; an experience that was largely absent from his life up till then. He secretly, well as secretly as you could in a military computer lounge, visited sites with stories and forums about “age play” or “age regression.” It soon became an obsession that was the focus of all his daydreams and fantasies. He would hum the tune to “Someone to Watch Over Me” like a broken record. Then one day he saw a post by a very nice couple who was looking for their own adult little boy and he started talking to them. It gave him a thrill to see their names in his inbox, and they were as close as he thought he'd ever come to having daddies in real life. In fact, it was probably the anonymity that allowed him to be so open with them. They were a source of comfort in his harsh world.

The medical staff did not comfort him. No, they were harsh and kept telling him he'd made a mistake, that he was confused. The officer in charge of Evans did not comfort Kyle. He had to stand in a room with a dry mouth and lump in his throat while he got yelled at a whole lot. Kyle could barely squeak out replies to the awful, twisted questions that turned everything into looking like it was all his fault. His new friends Jay and Rob, said that the officers had an “agenda” and that Kyle wasn't to blame. He did not like being in the Navy because he was smart but not the kind of smart that the military liked, so he ended up with a job cleaning and repainting hallways, bathrooms, doors, and pipes for less than minimum wage. It stunk and he could hardly believe that tomorrow he would be really free. 

In the morning, Kyle stuffed his one back with his scant belongings and shuffled off to the mess. He blocked out the noisy chaos and could only manage to drink a cup of apple juice, allowing the bigger guys to take the remainder of his meal. They were all bigger guys, including most of the girls, since he'd narrowly made the height and age cutoff to enlist. Then he'd lost his appetite after Evans had started bullying him and now he was a real shrimp. His thoughts were interrupted by the brown haired minx sliding in beside him. 

“Good morning, sunshine. Why so glum? You're gonna be on dry land by this afternoon, you lucky duck!” She said, sliding her apple juice over to him. 

“Thanks.” Kyle said, taking a sip of the juice. “I'm not glum, but no one's gonna be there to meet me Sammy, and I'm scared.” He covered his watery eyes with his hands. 

Sammy laid a hand on his back and whispered in his ear. “Aww hun, I have a feeling it'll be okay. Didn't you check your email last night?”

“Yes” He groaned, “You know I check it like crazy.” A slight grin appeared on his face, “I did get a message You-Know-Who's.” 

Sammy beamed, taking a mouthful of syrupy pancake. “Mhmm, and what did they say?”

Kyle put his hands in his lap, suddenly feeling very small and said in a soft voice, “They were sorry my grammy couldn't pick me up on account of her hip acting up. And not to worry because I have people who are looking out for me. And that they would be there for me.” He let out a pained sigh. “But it's not the same Sammy. It's not the same as really having someone there for you to hug you and make things better.”

Seeing tears start to fall from her sad friend's face, Sammy tucked two non-syrupy pancakes, and two pieces of fruit into her cargo pockets and led Kyle away. She stayed by him for the rest of the morning, offering gentle reassurances, gave him a great big, non-regulation hug at the edge of the gangway, and watched him walk onto dry land. 

If he hadn't been starting at the ground, Kyle might have seen them. He was so used to blocking out the constant chatter on the ship that he didn't notice his name being called, especially since no on the ship bothered learning his first name except for Sammy. He stopped short when he saw two pairs of loafer clad feet directly in his path. The heavy bag that rested partway over his back, rolled to the side, starting to take Kyle with it, when a pair of strong hands caught his arms. The weight held precariously on his back vanished. His attempted, rather incoherent apology was cut short as two handsome faces, with equally nice smiles came into his view. The one with the salt and pepper hair, who looked shockingly like the pictures he'd seen of Rob, had the kindest, beautiful blue eyes that Kyle had ever seen. 

“Hey there Kye, it's okay, we didn't mean to frighten you.” He said, squatting down closer to the younger man's level. 

The other man, dusty blond with warm eyes knelt down also, giving his partner a slight nudge. “Rob, I think he's a little confused.” Then looked back toward Kyle, “It's us sweetie, Jay and Rob.”

Transfixed by their soothing voices, comfort warred with confusion and shock, leaving Kyle frozen and speechless. Jay and Rob exchanged a wary glance and Rob rubbed his hand through the young man's short hair. “You okay, buddy? We're right here for you.” 

Kyle didn't know what to do. No, he wasn't alright! He wanted to run far away from this ship, from Lieutenant Evans, from the fear and the anger and the loneliness. He'd talked with this older couple for months, they knew all about him, they were so nice, and he dreamed of being safe in their arms. It simply never entered his imagination that he would meet them in real life. They looked like a pair of quarterbacks and he looked like a scrawny nobody who probably weighed less one of their legs! He looked up and tried to speak, his mouth opened, but all that came out was a keening sound that caught in his throat. Hot tears came unbidden, only spurred on further by his embarrassment, and when he lowered his head, one splashed onto the end of his nose. He shook his head, no he was not okay!

Jay felt his heart break for the little man with the doe eyes, so adorable and achingly vulnerable. He reached out and embraced him in a tight hug. “Shh Kye, it's all over now. You're safe with me and with Rob.” Jay continued a stream of soothing words which seemed to calm the distraught boy. He kept half an eye out as Rob placed Kyle's bag in the trunk and opened the back door for them. “Come on honey, let's get you home.” Jay said, gently guiding Kyle into the car. His young charge was near hysterics now and clung onto his shirt, shuddering too hard to utter a coherent word, try as he might. 

“D..dd.d. I..(gasp)..I..I..Iiii...(sobbing)...I..D..dd..(gasp)...haaave” Kyle shook his head, thankful when he felt Jay squeeze him tightly to his strong chest. 

“What is it, Kye? You don't have something? Did you forget it on the ship?” Rob asked with tender patience. 

“Nooooo!” Kyle wailed.

“Take a breath sweetie, before you turn blue on us.” Jay urged. 

Kyle attempted to breathe, succeeding in producing a few short gasps and a hiccup. On his next breath, he exhaled one word. “Hoooome.”

“Yea, we're gonna go there now little man.” Jay soothed.

Rob watched Kyle shake his head and his heart ached with understanding. “Oh, you don't have a home? Is that what you're trying to say buddy?”

Kyle nodded as a fresh wave of tears burst forth. His face had become a mess of tears and snot, his red eyes and nose soon matched in color by the lip he was chewing on. He was embarrassed beyond belief and wanted nothing more than to stop crying and ruining everything. They were being so nice and he couldn't stand it, there was nothing to give them in return, not even gas money for the ride they'd taken just to see him. 

“Shh, none of that silly boy. We've talked about this before, remember? Our home is your home, so let's go get you settled in there, yea?” Rob said in a way that made it sound like a very small thing that was easy and fine and no problem at all. So Kyle nodded and tried to wipe his nose on his sleeve, but Jay was too fast and pulled out a small, soft towel from somewhere and cleaned his face. Kyle was suddenly too exhausted to puzzle out what was happening around him as his emotional release combined with a sleepless night caught up with him. One of them guided him into the backseat and even clicked in his seatbelt, an odd kind that had two straps and buckled between his legs. “Like one of the fighter pilots on the aircraft carrier.” he thought, as he drifted into sleep.


	2. Nothing to Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle wants to be the perfect guest, but his little self wants to come out. When his body betrays him, he starts to let go.

Jay drove while Rob sat in the back next to Kye, gently stroking the young man's head as he dozed. Jay looked into the rearview mirror, unable to resist capturing frequent glimpses of the adorable little man. An hour later they pulled up to their quiet country house. Rob saw Kyle's eye's flit open and was greeted with a soft, “Hi.” 

“Well hello little man, nice to see you.” Rob grinned, opening his door to come around and let Kyle out. Unaware of the child locks, Kyle clumsily pulled at the handle in a very groggy attempt to exit. Rob tried holding up a finger to indicate that he Kyle to stop for a moment, but the boy didn't notice. Jay noticed the dilemma and climbed into the backseat through the opposite door, gently taking hold of his little buddy's hands. “Has to be unlocked from the outside, pal.” he explained cheerfully. Kyle leaned into the older man and closed his eyes again. 

The spouses agreed that there was little chance of the boy making it into the house without tripping over his own feet, so Jay easily lifted him into his arms while Rob grabbed the bag and held the door. “Dear god, Robby, the boy weighs next to nothing!” he hissed. Rob shook his head, dismayed at the poor treatment and frequent bullying the poor boy must have endured. He couldn't think how the little man would have had any chance of defending himself against those brutes who targeted him. 

Jay brought Kyle straight back to the guest room, opting not to show him the room the special room they set up until they had Kyle's consent. Rob came in right behind them with a pair of soft blue pajamas. “Kye, do you need to use the bathroom before you konk out again? I can show you where it is.” Jay offered, but Kyle only grumbled and shook his head, trying to crawl into the incredibly soft bed. He remembered the boy talking about what he had referred to on different occasions as a 'weak,' or 'nervous' bladder, but decided not to press the issue. 

“Hold on a sec, don't you want to change out of that uniform?” Rob offered, holding out the PJs. 

Kyle mumbled his assent but made no move to do anything but crawl further toward the pillows. The men chuckled and Rob suggested, “Well, would you like some help then?” Kyle responded with an innocent, contented shrug, and a sighing smile. Taking this as their cue, Jay unbuttoned Kye's shirt and helped him slip his arms out, then pulled his tee shirt up over his head. Rob took the dirty clothes and tossed them in a hamper, handing the pajama top to Jay. Pulling on the top was a bit more difficult due to Kyle's lack of assistance in the process, leaving Jay to pop it over his head, then slide on one sleeve at a time before lifting the boy's shoulders to slide the shirt down. Rob had already unlaced the small shoes and peeled of Kye's socks. Both men stopped short when they Jay began to unbutton the young man's trousers. Kyle reached his hands down to cover himself while pulling his knees up to his chest. 

“Oh sweetie, no one's going to touch you like that. We're just trading your pants out, you want to do it yourself instead?” Rob reassured, rubbing the boy's knee to calm him. 

Kyle opened his eyes and looked at the kind couple, relaxing slightly in their warmth. “S'okay.” he whispered, closing his eyes again. At that, Jay nodded and pulled Kyle's pants down while Rob held onto his briefs to ensure that they weren't accidentally pulled free. Rob pulled up the PJ pants and put a pair of cozy socks on Kyle's feet. They were practically knee socks on the boy, but would have to suffice until they did some shopping. Then Jay gently lifted Kyle into his arms while Rob pulled down the sheets. They laid him down, tucked him in, and gave him each a peck on the forehead. 

–

In the kitchen, Jay popped open a can of flavored seltzer and handed it to Rob, grabbing a second one for himself. They leaned on counter of their island, “Well, that was...” Rob was at a loss for words. 

“He's...adorable.” chuckled Jay. 

“I know. I mean, it's an emotional day for him, so we don't know how he'll feel once he's recuperated a bit. I guess he's more than I expected?” Rob said tentatively. 

“It breaks my heart to see how much he's been suffering. First it was this problem with his officer and then, well I don't gather he's been eating very well. And what kills me is; he thought we were just going to say hello and then leave him there? That boy could not make it two days on the streets. Even if he wasn't a good fit for us, we'd never leave him to that fate.” Jay ran a hand through his hair, looking to Rob.

“No, we'd never do that hun, don't think like that. Trust me, he wants to me taken care of. He was sleepy just now, but he wasn't loopy or disoriented. Did you see how cute he was with that innocent little shrug and smile when I asked if he wanted us to help him change? Trust me love, he'll have us wrapped around his little finger if we're not careful.” 

–

Kyle was flying a fighter jet which was normal in every way except that the only sounds the plane made weren't coming from the jet but from his own voice. It was funny to be flying a real jet that made such silly sounds and when the flight was over he landed in a warm field where there were two very handsome men waiting for him. They picked him up and kissed his cheeks and showed him a great big pond of crystal clear water. With the help of both men, he got into a wetsuit that was soft and warm. They took him swimming and somehow he stayed dry in the water, but he began to feel terribly thirsty. Then he did feel wet, the got in his pants and turned cold, and the good guys were gone. The plane was gone, he didn't know how to get home by himself, he needed them to come back. 

He woke wet and whimpering. Horrified that he probably ruined the nicest sheets and mattress that he'd ever used, Kyle got up and peeled off his wet pants. As usual, the wetness got on the bottom of his shirt too. The clothes he was wearing were missing, so careful to be quiet, he opened the closet, hoping to find something to change into. There was nothing except for a few winter jackets, it would probably be a give away that something had gone awry if he waltzed into the kitchen wearing one of those. Then he saw a hamper in the corner and found his old clothes. Just the sight of them made his stomach twist and tumble, but what was else could he do? 

In the living room, Jay was reading aloud from a book of short stories while Rob worked on a 1,000 piece M.C. Escher puzzle. They were just about to switch places, as they usually did every now and again, when their grandfather clock chimed. “Think we should check on him? He's been asleep for over two hours and I'd hate for him not to be able to sleep tonight.” Rob said. 

“I hate to wake him, but you're probably right. Plus, we ought to put dinner on soon and it'd be nice to all eat together.” Jay agreed. 

Although the door to the guest room was open just an inch, Jay knocked and softly called Kyle's name before entering. He opened the door, took in the empty bed, the pajamas pooled on the floor, and then caught sight of a naked bum poking out from the closet. Stifling a chuckle, Jay tried to pass it off as a cough and then said loudly enough for Kyle to hear, “Rob, do we have an extra bathrobe he could use?”  
To his credit, Rob turned to fetch the item without questioning Jay, though he was a tad befuddled, not having seen into the bedroom. 

Kyle froze at the sound of Jay's voice. He couldn't hide this, so he stood stock still. Waiting for the mocking, laughter, and taunts. Without turning around, he tried to save face. “I'm so sorry, I'll wash everything for you. I'll find a way to pay for whatever can't be fixed. I totally understand if you need to ask me to leave.” He wasn't crying, didn't want to again, but the effort was causing his throat squeeze and his eyes to burn. The soft fabric of a bathrobe was draped over his back and shoulders, and he heard Jay saying, “No need for all that, sweetie. These things happen, it's not your fault.” Kyle was thinking that, yes, it was very much his fault, but he didn't think that was the right thing to say, and anyway, he kinda wanted to believe Jay. He slid his arms into the robe and held it shut before turning around. 

“I'm sorry, I'll do the laundry. I'll even do your laundry, anything you want.” Kyle said, adding silently, “Just please don't stop liking me.” 

Jay leaned over and Kyle flinched, but relaxed when he saw the older man reach for the strips of fabric that made the belt of the robe and tie it snugly together. “Come on kiddo, let me show you something.” Jay said, leading the adorable younger man to the bedside. 

Kyle started to pull away, “I said I was sorry!” He didn't know what was about to happen, but history informed him that it would surely be awful. Jay held him still effortlessly, reminding Kyle just how strong the bigger man was. 

“Hey now, hold your horses Buckaroo.” Jay said, pulling the fitted sheet and mattress pad back to reveal something beneath. “Do you know what that is?” Kyle shook his head shyly and looked up into Jay's warm face. “That's a mattress protector, Kye. It's for things like accidents and spills.” 

“Oh.” Kye said, blushing and hiding his face in his hands. 

Jay pulled him into a tight hug, “You told us about what happened when you were younger and again in boot camp. Everyone is different. You happen to have a nervous bladder. Don't worry, no one is upset or bothered at all. Although, I'll admit I was a little surprised to walk in here and see a naked tush peeking out from the closet.” he said, ruffling Kye's hair. “Now I'll take care of this while you go down the hall and get washed up. The bathroom is the one with the light blue door.”

Kyle shuffled slowly toward the bathroom and saw steam coming from the behind the halfway open door. The bubbling sound of a bathtub being filled mixed was accompanied by the scent of fresh soap. It was worlds away from his shipboard life. He hadn't taken a real bath in a real bathtub in years. He peeked inside where Rob was in a pair of lounge pants and a light gray tee shirt, humming as he tested the temperature of the water with his wrist. Kyle stood in the doorway waiting to be noticed. Rob looked up and smiled a smile that was so wide it spread to Kyle too. “Come on in, I thought you might want to relax and have nice hot bath.”

The young man nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“I'll leave you to it then, just give a shout if you need anything.” Rob said, standing to go, but Kyle didn't make a move. Rob sat on the edge of the tub, and reached a hand out toward the shy little man. When Kyle inched close enough for Rob to hold his hand, the older man said, “Do you need something, Kye?” 

The boy nodded his head, but still didn't know how to express his needs. After months on a crowded, cramped, loud, busy ship, Kyle felt lost in the very stillness and silence that he had dreamed of since the day he enlisted. He didn't want to be alone. 

Rob bent his head forward, “You want me to stay with you?” Kyle didn't reply, he looked at his hands and chewed on his lip some more. Rob took that to mean the poor kid wanted to say yes, but was either afraid to admit it or afraid to ask. “Sure, just promise me you're not hiding a squirt gun in that bathrobe.” he joked. 

Kyle stifled a giggle and shook his head. Rob offered to pull the curtain partway closed for privacy, which Kyle tried, but found he didn't like not being able to see anyone. The little man made Rob pinky swear that he would not do anything bad, which seemed to be a satisfactory promise for the boy. The tall, strong, athletic tried not to let the worry show on his face as he took in the full sight of the poor kid. There was something about seeing Kye fully undressed that revealed the how drastically underweight and vulnerable he was. Rob tried not to interfere even though Kyle was rushing through the motions with enough speed to negate the benefits of a soak in the tub. He wanted to help wash that tender little guy, but knew that might be moving too fast.

“All done.” Kyle announced. 

Rob smiled, “I've got a couple options for you here.” He held up two pairs of pajamas. The first was white with red trim and printed with little firetrucks being driven by dalmatians, the second was a one-piece zip-up pair of red footsie pajamas with a picture of a monkey on the front. 

Kyle's face lit with surprise and he blushed. “Aren't those someone else's clothes though? I don't want to borrow without asking.” 

“No, we stopped at the mall yesterday when we knew we'd be picking you up. These are for you.” 

“I don't know what to say. You didn't have to do that just for me.” 

“We wanted to, sweetie. So what will it be? You can borrow something from our clothes if you like, but well, we wanted you to be comfortable with us here.” Rob tried to act more confident than he felt, both he and Jay really wanted to have Kyle in their life. They'd liked him from the very first time they chatted, but it wouldn't be fair to pressure him; the decision had to be his own. 

“I kinda like the monkey ones.” 

Kyle let Rob help him dry off and held out a pull-up in one hand and a pair of undies in the other. The younger man pointed to the pull-ups and allowed himself to be helped into his clothing. Trusting his intuition, the older man took the boy's hand and led him into the kitchen where Jay was making dinner.  
Kye sat on a stool at the island while Rob went to the fridge. Jay turned from the stove and smiled at Kyle. “Well someone looks comfy and cozy. I hope you don't mind ravioli, I wanted to go with something quick and easy tonight.” 

Kyle shrugged, “It's okay, I never eat that much anyway.” he said quietly. 

“I can see that,” said Jay. “All the more reason to make sure you start getting better nutrition.”

Kyle shrugged again, not knowing how to respond. It wasn't that he didn't want to eat, he just wasn't ever hungry. He got scared, or sad, or some kind of upset, and it turned his tummy in knots. 

Rob looked up from the fridge, “We have apple juice, cranberry juice, and milk. What would you like kiddo?” 

“Apple juice is my favorite.” Kyle answered without looking up from the rubber band that he was twisting around the tabletop. He was a little surprised when Rob handed him a sippy cup, but happy because he would have been too shy to ask for one on his own. It was silly to be shy about using it, but he still waited to take a sip until both men were facing away from him. From there dinner was hard for Kyle. He wanted to make them happy and not be any trouble, but he wasn't hungry. Jay cut up the ravioli into small pieces and didn't give him very much, but after a couple of bites he wanted to be done and pushed his plate away. Rob pushed the plate back in front of Kyle, “Eat some more please, that's not enough yet.”

“The food was good thanks, but I'm just not that hungry.” Kyle said with his best manners. 

Rob raised an eyebrow at Jay, who took charge. “Kye sweetie, if you need help then I will feed you. There isn't much on your plate and you need to eat.” 

The younger man's little face turned red and his voice took on a tone of desperation, “I'm sorry, you don't have to do that, I told you I'm no good at eating.”

Jay nodded calmly, “Well then, it's lucky for you I'm good at feeding.” He slid into the seat next to Kyle and speared a small piece of ravioli with a fork, bringing it to the boy's mouth. With plenty of encouragement, and only a little cajoling, the scrawny little man finished almost three quarters of what was on his plate. It might have even have been a pleasant experience, he admitted to himself, if he wasn't so hung up over what the two older men might think of him. 

When dinner was finished Rob offered to clean up since Jay cooked. Kyle tried to help clear his place, but Jay beat him to it, placing the dishes in the sink and handing the boy his cup. He reached out a hand and Kyle was at a loss for what to do until Jay wiggled his fingers, saying “Let's sit over here for a while.” 

Kyle grabbed on, his hand dwarfed inside Jay's gentle grip. Everything about these men made him feel like a kid. They were a good foot and a half taller than he was, their muscles were well defined, and they probably weighed twice what he did. A part of him wanted to let go and let them take care of everything. He felt confused and a little sad because they were acting like daddies and he wished that he could be theirs. Maybe he could let himself enjoy the fantasy just for a little while. He wished he could ask them how long they would keep around but was too afraid to hear the answer.


	3. In Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle has a rough first night until his Daddy comes to help.

Jay looked down and smiled, feeling like a very lucky man. He and Rob couldn't imagine meeting a more adorable boy. He sat in a big cozy rocking chair, pulling Kyle up on his lap. “I'm very glad that you ate so much, I know it wasn't easy. Do you want to finish your drink while we wait for Rob?”

Kyle nodded and sipped on his juice, though sitting stiffly upright atop Jay's legs. “Just relax kiddo. There's a good boy.” he hummed, pulling the boy against his chest. They rocked together, Jay slowly stroking Kyle's hair while waiting for his partner to join them. When Rob was finished, he went to the closet to retrieve something and came to sit on the couch beside the two. Kyle's eyes were open, but his breathing had slowed and he looked more relaxed than he had all day. 

“Hey there snugglebug, we got you a little something. We weren't sure if you would want it, but now I think you will.” Rob said, handing the box to the little guy.

Kyle looked at the small box. It was wrapped in rainbow paper with a sparkly bow on the top. In his haste to tear it open he dropped his cup on the floor and almost fell out of the chair as he bent over to pick it up. Jay's arms wrapped tightly around Kyle and held onto him. Kyle let out a squeak of surprise and said sorry, burying his face against Jay. He felt the big chest bounce as Jay chuckled, “Oh that's okay, I'm just glad you didn't bump your head. Now, let's see what you got.”

Inside the box was a plush turtle. When he hugged it, some of the shapes on it's soft shell lit up with a dim glow. It was even softer than his rabbit's foot and he hugged it again, rubbing his cheek against its furry body. “Th..thank you, this is the nicest present anyone's ever given me.” he said through a teary smile. 

“Oh sweetie, you like it?” asked Jay. Kyle nodded.

“Squeeze the end of its tail.” suggested Rob. Kyle did and a quiet lullaby began playing from somewhere inside the turtle. He leaned back against Jay, cuddling the toy and whispering another thank you. It was clear that Kyle was still worn out, so they passed the rest of the evening quietly watching the newest Muppets movie. When it was over, the men led their new little guy to bed. They stopped at the bathroom and asked if he needed to go “potty.” He knew deep down that 'normal' people would resent being reminded to pee before bed, but it only made Kyle feel cared for. Rob tucked him into bed and planted a kiss on his forehead, followed by Jay. 

“Come find us if you need anything, even if it's the middle of the night, okay?” said Jay.

“K.” answered Kyle. He snuggled up to the turtle and fell asleep to the muffled sounds of conversation down the hall.

\- -  
Kyle sat straight up in bed, breathing hard and soaked in sweat, he wondered why he hadn't knocked his head on the bunk above his. Then he looked out the window and saw the dark starry night and sighed with relief that he was someplace better now. He looked down at his wrist and realized that he wasn't wearing his watch. He shivered, with the combination of fear and the cooling damp fabric that clung to his skin. Creeping out of bed, he felt along the wall for the light switch and turned it on. The house was silent and there was no way that he would wake up his generous hosts, no matter how much they claimed they wouldn't mind. It wasn't until he stripped off his pajamas that he realized he had another accident. Groaning, he peeled off the wet pull-up and put it on the floor, then tip-toed to the bathroom. He tried to click on the light, but mistakenly hit the switch for the vent fan and quickly turned it off again, kicking himself for making so much noise. Then he tried, and failed, to pee some more before washing his hands and drinking a few gulps of cold water. Unable to find any more pull-ups, he snagged a towel and scuttled back to bed. Pulling off the sheets, he put the towel down and laid on top of it and decided to lay down naked, covered only by the dry comforter. 

Jay was a light sleeper and his mind was alert for any unusual sounds that night. The first time he woke, he wasn't sure why and fell dozed off again, but the second time he woke it was to the clear sound of whimpers coming from the guest room. He was fully alert in seconds and hopped up without waking Rob. Jay found Kyle thrashing under the covers and flipped the light on causing the boy to startle awake. 

“Hey, you alright? Bad dream?” he asked. Kyle only whimpered and curled into a ball. “Oh come here, honey.” he said, sitting on the bed and pulling the boy into his arms. “What happened to all your clothes little man?” 

“Wet.” he moaned. 

“Ahh, your pull-up leaked?” Jay asked.

“No...yes, er..I went in it but I had a scary dream and sweat a lot.” he said, starting to shake with restrained tears. 

“You stay here a minute, I'll make it all better.” Jay left the room and returned with sheets, pajamas, and a pull-up in his arms. He helped Kyle into the clothes and changed the sheets on the bed. 

Watching the older man fix the bed sheets, Kyle hugged his turtle, his anxiety increasing. He didn't want to have another bad dream. Then thinking that after the disastrous start to his visit he could lose nothing by asking something more, figuring they'd probably tell him that he needed to stay somewhere else. “Um...do you think I could sit with you in the chair like before? Just for a little while, if that's okay. If you can't...I mean you don't have to or anything. Sorry, I'm being stupid...” he trailed off, trying to think of the right thing to say.

Jay stopped what he was doing and turned, lifting Kyle like he was a bag of feathers, saying “Smart thinking, little buddy. Up we go then!” Within minutes of getting settled in the rocking chair they both drifted off to sleep.

–

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? Let me know! I want to make something for all of you to enjoy : )


	4. Papa Robby and Daddy  Jay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle finally belongs and starts to be more like his true self. Papa and Daddy remind their little guy of who's in charge.

Rob was halfway through cooking breakfast when the sleeping pair began shifting awake. His heart was light at the tender familial scene. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” Jay said, rubbing Kyle's arm affectionately and planting a loud kiss atop his head. Kyle smiled and gave a half-hearted grumble, curling into a ball and burying his face in the man's warm chest. “I know, I'd like to cuddle all day too, but don't you think Papa Robby would be sad if we didn't eat the food he's made us?”

Kyle didn't move or take a breath as he tried to process what he thought he'd heard. If Jay called Robby “Papa,” did that mean they were keeping him? Like, really keeping him to be their own boy? He didn't notice how Jay had frozen and never thought about how anxious the man would be waiting Kyle's reaction. 

The young man sat up and looked into Jay's warm brown eyes. “Are you saying...” Kyle cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you mean that I could be yours? You guys want to keep me?!” He exclaimed, squeezing fistfuls of the man's shirt.”

Jay beamed, “Are you saying that you want to stay?” 

“Are you crazy?! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Kyle shrieked, bouncing up and down. With unrestrained joy Kyle hopped up and ran over to Rob, jumping up and down while tugging on the man's arm. “Really? Really? You're gonna be my Papa?!” he shouted with glee. 

“Yes sweet boy, I'd love nothing more.” He picked up the boy and hugged him tightly. “Now, go get tell Daddy Jay that it's time for breakfast.” he said with a light tap to Kyle's bum. The young man covered his butt with his hands and squealed with mock consternation, then ran over to Jay, who was already standing. “Pappa says it's time to come eat!” he informed the bemused older man, grabbing onto his arm and dragging him to the kitchen table. 

Rob and Jay had fried eggs with bacon, toast, and hash browns while Kyle had scrambled eggs, toast, a very tiny piece of toast, and a very small scoop of hash browns. The boy tried to eat, in fact it was the first time in recent history that he had an actual appetite. He wasn't being very careful though, as he bounced in his chanting, “This is the best day! This is the best day ever! This is the best day! Best best bestest day ever ever ever!” 

His new daddies both tried warning their boy that he needed to calm down. “Easy now, kiddo. Don't make yourself choke.” warned Jay. “Careful Kye, you're getting more on your table than in your mouth.” said Rob. 

Kyle left the warnings unheeded and continued his bouncing and chanting until he stopped abruptly and started having a coughing fit. He tried to cover his mouth, but somehow a bite of half chewed toast landed in front of Rob's plate. Jay rubbed the boy's back, “That's okay, cough it out. Now, take a little sip of your juice. Is that better now?” 

Kyle nodded, his coughing dying down, “Yea, sorry.” he apologized. 

Rob wiped up the ejected piece of toast and Jay slid his chair back, and picked up the boy, settling back down with Kyle on his lap. “Let's calm down a little bit now, kiddo.” he soothed. 

“But I like being happy!” he whined in a high, wheezy voice.

“I like it too, buddy. You can still be happy, we just need to a different kind of happy right now. Then later we can run around outside and be the big, crazy kinda happy again, alright?” said Jay. Kyle nodded several times, grinning broadly. “Atta boy, deep breaths.” Kyle obeyed and the change was almost instant as the boy leaned back against the big man with a deep sigh and a few more tiny coughs. Not that Jay would have wanted the kid to choke, but he enjoyed being able to feed their little man, it was an affectionate bonding ritual that made him feel the warmth of their connection. He was very attentive and paced the boy slowly with frequent praise that elicited eye rolls from the little guy, though the boy secretly loved the attention. 

They were about half finished with breakfast when Kyle started squirming and swinging his legs. He tried to slip from Jay's grasp. “All done.” he declared. 

An arm around his tummy stopped the boy from escaping. “Not so fast, you need to finish what's on your plate. It's only two bites of eggs and the rest of that toast.” Jay said. 

“Uh uh, not hungry, no room.” Kyle replied, wiggling in Jay's grip. 

Rob interjected, “Kye, who are the daddies?” 

Kyle tried to hide his face but Jay kept him facing forward. “You and Daddy Jay.” he whispered, shyly glancing up into Rob's kind blue eyes. 

“That's right, and when we tell you to do something, it's because we care about you. Will you have energy to run around and play today if you don't eat enough food?” asked Rob. Kyle shook his head

“Good boy, here comes another bite.” said Jay, holding up a forkful of eggs which Kyle obediently ate. 

\--

His daddies talked in their bedroom while Kyle waited for them to bring him some clothes. They hadn't realized that the only clothing that he'd brought off the ship were his uniforms, which they thankfully intuited he would rather burn than ever wear again. He sucked down his juice while watching Adventure Time. Rob and Jay returned within just a few minutes, but allowed him to watch the rest of the episode before pulling him away to get dressed. 

“We're gonna have to do some shopping today, buddy. These are the smallest clothes we have.” Rob said as he helped Kyle pull on a striped long sleeve shirt and a pair of what were meant to be skinny jeans. With Rob on one side and Jay on the other, they rolled up his sleeves and pants until his hands and feet were visible. The 'skinny jeans' were baggy on the little man and would only stay up with the help of an old belt which Jay had to cut short and poke new holes into. 

Kyle watched as they packed a bag with extra pull-ups, wipes, a juice box, fruit snacks, and lots more that he didn't catch sight of. He held Rob's hand as they walked to the car and stopped short at the sight of a booster seat in the back of the car. “Do I need to sit there?” he asked, pointing at the chair. 

“Yes squirt, you do. It's much safer for you.” Rob replied. 

Kyle liked the idea of having a special seat all his own, but was too embarrassed to admit it just then. “No choice?” he asked. 

“No sweetie, I'd be too sad if you got hurt.” he said, helping the boy into his seat and pulling the seatbelt over his shoulders before coming around to sit on the other side. 

“Daddy Jay will be lonely.” Kyle whispered to his papa. 

Rob ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. “Oh you sweet boy, he'll be okay. I'll switch places with him on the way home so we each get a turn with our little guy.” 

“Good thinkin'” Kyle whispered seriously. Rob tried to stifle his laughter.


	5. First Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first trip (to go shopping) starts out a little rough for their little Kye, but it all works out with the help of his daddies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome, please contribute ideas so that this story can belong to all of us!

Rob was halfway through cooking breakfast when the sleeping pair began shifting awake. His heart was light at the tender familial scene. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” Jay said, rubbing Kyle's arm affectionately and planting a loud kiss atop his head. Kyle smiled and gave a half-hearted grumble, curling into a ball and burying his face in the man's warm chest. “I know, I'd like to cuddle all day too, but don't you think Papa Robby would be sad if we didn't eat the food he's made us?”

Kyle didn't move or take a breath as he tried to process what he thought he'd heard. If Jay called Robby “Papa,” did that mean they were keeping him? Like, really keeping him to be their own boy? He didn't notice how Jay had frozen and never thought about how anxious the man would be waiting Kyle's reaction. 

The young man sat up and looked into Jay's warm brown eyes. “Are you saying...” Kyle cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you mean that I could be yours? You guys want to keep me?!” He exclaimed, squeezing fistfuls of the man's shirt.”

Jay beamed, “Are you saying that you want to stay?” 

“Are you crazy?! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Kyle shrieked, bouncing up and down. With unrestrained joy Kyle hopped up and ran over to Rob, jumping up and down while tugging on the man's arm. “Really? Really? You're gonna be my Papa?!” he shouted with glee. 

“Yes sweet boy, I'd love nothing more.” He picked up the boy and hugged him tightly. “Now, go get tell Daddy Jay that it's time for breakfast.” he said with a light tap to Kyle's bum. The young man covered his butt with his hands and squealed with mock consternation, then ran over to Jay, who was already standing. “Pappa says it's time to come eat!” he informed the bemused older man, grabbing onto his arm and dragging him to the kitchen table. 

Rob and Jay had fried eggs with bacon, toast, and hash browns while Kyle had scrambled eggs, toast, a very tiny piece of toast, and a very small scoop of hash browns. The boy tried to eat, in fact it was the first time in recent history that he had an actual appetite. He wasn't being very careful though, as he bounced in his chanting, “This is the best day! This is the best day ever! This is the best day! Best best bestest day ever ever ever!” 

His new daddies both tried warning their boy that he needed to calm down. “Easy now, kiddo. Don't make yourself choke.” warned Jay. “Careful Kye, you're getting more on your table than in your mouth.” said Rob. 

Kyle left the warnings unheeded and continued his bouncing and chanting until he stopped abruptly and started having a coughing fit. He tried to cover his mouth, but somehow a bite of half chewed toast landed in front of Rob's plate. Jay rubbed the boy's back, “That's okay, cough it out. Now, take a little sip of your juice. Is that better now?” 

Kyle nodded, his coughing dying down, “Yea, sorry.” he apologized. 

Rob wiped up the ejected piece of toast and Jay slid his chair back, and picked up the boy, settling back down with Kyle on his lap. “Let's calm down a little bit now, kiddo.” he soothed. 

“But I like being happy!” he whined in a high, wheezy voice.

“I like it too, buddy. You can still be happy, we just need to a different kind of happy right now. Then later we can run around outside and be the big, crazy kinda happy again, alright?” said Jay. Kyle nodded several times, grinning broadly. “Atta boy, deep breaths.” Kyle obeyed and the change was almost instant as the boy leaned back against the big man with a deep sigh and a few more tiny coughs. Not that Jay would have wanted the kid to choke, but he enjoyed being able to feed their little man, it was an affectionate bonding ritual that made him feel the warmth of their connection. He was very attentive and paced the boy slowly with frequent praise that elicited eye rolls from the little guy, though the boy secretly loved the attention. 

They were about half finished with breakfast when Kyle started squirming and swinging his legs. He tried to slip from Jay's grasp. “All done.” he declared. 

An arm around his tummy stopped the boy from escaping. “Not so fast, you need to finish what's on your plate. It's only two bites of eggs and the rest of that toast.” Jay said. 

“Uh uh, not hungry, no room.” Kyle replied, wiggling in Jay's grip. 

Rob interjected, “Kye, who are the daddies?” 

Kyle tried to hide his face but Jay kept him facing forward. “You and Daddy Jay.” he whispered, shyly glancing up into Rob's kind blue eyes. 

“That's right, and when we tell you to do something, it's because we care about you. Will you have energy to run around and play today if you don't eat enough food?” asked Rob. Kyle shook his head

“Good boy, here comes another bite.” said Jay, holding up a forkful of eggs which Kyle obediently ate. 

\--

His daddies talked in their bedroom while Kyle waited for them to bring him some clothes. They hadn't realized that the only clothing that he'd brought off the ship were his uniforms, which they thankfully intuited he would rather burn than ever wear again. He sucked down his juice while watching Adventure Time. Rob and Jay returned within just a few minutes, but allowed him to watch the rest of the episode before pulling him away to get dressed. 

“We're gonna have to do some shopping today, buddy. These are the smallest clothes we have.” Rob said as he helped Kyle pull on a striped long sleeve shirt and a pair of what were meant to be skinny jeans. With Rob on one side and Jay on the other, they rolled up his sleeves and pants until his hands and feet were visible. The 'skinny jeans' were baggy on the little man and would only stay up with the help of an old belt which Jay had to cut short and poke new holes into. 

Kyle watched as they packed a bag with extra pull-ups, wipes, a juice box, fruit snacks, and lots more that he didn't catch sight of. He held Rob's hand as they walked to the car and stopped short at the sight of a booster seat in the back of the car. “Do I need to sit there?” he asked, pointing at the chair. 

“Yes squirt, you do. It's much safer for you.” Rob replied. 

Kyle liked the idea of having a special seat all his own, but was too embarrassed to admit it just then. “No choice?” he asked. 

“No sweetie, I'd be too sad if you got hurt.” he said, helping the boy into his seat and pulling the seatbelt over his shoulders before coming around to sit on the other side. 

“Daddy Jay will be lonely.” Kyle whispered to his papa. 

Rob ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek. “Oh you sweet boy, he'll be okay. I'll switch places with him on the way home so we each get a turn with our little guy.” 

“Good thinkin'” Kyle whispered seriously. Rob tried to stifle his laughter.  
* *

The shopping outlets were over an hour away and despite his desire to soak in his new life, Kyle fell asleep. He didn't wake when the car stopped and emitted a rather cute grumble which sounded like a puppy trying to growl. Jay gently coaxed his boy back to consciousness, checking that he was dry before they all made their way toward the stores. 

The older men were pleasantly surprised to discover that the youth sections of most stores held clothes that fit their boy the best. At first Kyle was understandably concerned about what people might think of him, but his daddies reminded him that he had two big, strong men to protect him and that seemed to calm his fears. 

“How about this one? It has turtles on it.” Rob said, holding up a brown sweatshirt with a turtle family marching across the front and little turtle tracks printed on the back. 

“That's so cool! Do they have it in my size?” he asked. 

“Yup, and feel how soft it is on the inside.” Jay added. 

Kyle tried it on and his daddies remarked how well it fit him. “It's really cozy.” said Kyle. Then he lifted up his hand and saw the price tag. It was 50 dollars, which probably wasn't a lot of money to a lot of people, but he had a budget to stick to and wanted to try to stay under 200 dollars. With only one paycheck left to come from the Navy and the denial of a medical discharge, he only had a meager sum to rely on. He took the very cool turtle sweatshirt off and handed it back to Rob. “Um, no thanks. Not this one.” he said. 

Rob wrinkled his brow, looking intently back and forth between the shirt and his boy. “Huh? How come? I think it looks cute on you.” 

Kyle shrugged and Jay knelt down beside him. “Are you worried what people will think?” 

Kyle shook his head, “No, it costs a lot.” He looked at his hands, fiddling them nervously. 

Rob looked at the price tag and showed it to his partner. “I think it's worth the price since it's good quality. I think it'll last a while and this is a good brand.” he said. 

“Agreed.” Jay added. 

“Yea, but it's too much for me.” said Kyle, biting his lip.

Jay gently touched his thumb to Kyle's lip, prompting him to stop biting. “Honey, you're our little guy. Your daddies are buying everything for you.” 

The young man's face reddened and he turned around, rushing out of the store and onto an empty bench nearby. He sat back, hugging his knees to his chest, tears falling down his cheeks. They were rich and he was poor, they were big and he was small, they were strong and he was weak and why would they ever want to deal with him? His eyes were squeezed shut and hidden behind his folded arms, so he didn't see the two men come to sit beside him. “Oh sweetie, what's the matter?” Kyle identified the deeper voice as Jay's. “Was it something I said?”

“No, I'm a burden and I'm dumb and little and stupid and weak.” Kyle's voice was muffled and shaking. 

“Shh, that's not true at all. You are smart, and you're the best kind of little, and you're not our burden because we asked you to let us to take care of you. You're our joy. And you are a strong person who will be strong on the outside too, the way we're feeding you. Yea?” Jay soothed. 

Kyle nodded and lifted his head to look at the two, wiping his face with his sleeve with a sniffle. “Yea.” 

Rob reached in their baby bag for a tissue. “Hold on there, kiddo. Lemme help you.” He wiped the boy's eyes and nose. “All better now?”

Kyle nodded, reaching out for a hug. 

“Ahh, there's my good boy. Let's go get ourselves some nice things.” Rob said, leading Kye back into the store. 

Shopping was a tiring adventure that left Kyle feeling overwhelmed. Jay and Rob decided to stop and eat at one of the nice restaurants within the outlets' complex. They settled on a sandwich shop where Rob ordered their food while Jay settled at a table with Kyle. “Kye honey, do you need to go potty before we eat?” he asked. 

“No Daddy, I don't.” he said, clearly more interested in the little toy that had come with one of their purchases. It was a tiny plastic box that opened to reveal the interior of an itty bitty house, complete with a tiny doll that stood no taller than a quarter on its end. He was busy making the doll open the window when his Papa Robby arrived with their food. 

He sipped on his juice box and ate small bites of his grilled cheese. The men eased up on pressuring the boy to eat, knowing that it might be overwhelming for him to be fed in public, planning to encourage him to have more once they returned home. Everyone had some leftovers which they stashed away for later. 

The day was almost over when Kyle felt that disaster had finally struck. He was at the bookstore, hunting through the children's section when a man in a naval uniform loomed large above him. The outlets weren't too close to the base, but people on a few day's leave often found time to make a visit. Kyle didn't have a chance, his bladder released before he was conscious of what was happening. It was his stupid nervous bladder which spilled whenever he saw anyone who reminded him of that devil of an officer who had violated him. “It can't be him. That guy is too tall and too thin. You're okay.” he tried to assure himself, but a larger part of him was shouting in his brain, “I want my daddies! I need my daddies!” He approached the closer of the two, Jay, who was two shelves away in the 'storybook' section. Walking slowly, praying that the serviceman was a random stranger, feeling sure that everyone knew he'd wet himself, he approached Jay and feigned interest in the book his Daddy was holding.

“Hey buddy, look at this one. It's got lots of stories and rhymes in it with all these neat pictures.” said his Daddy.

Kyle squatted on the ground, mortification etched on his face. “Can you help please?” he mumbled. To his surprise, Jay needed nothing more, immediately grasping the situation. 

Daddy Jay stood, holding the book in his hand and saying in at a normal volume, “Hey, this one's cool, let's show it to Rob.” With that, he put his free hand behind Kye's back and gently ushered him toward his partner. “Can I borrow your bag for a second love?” Jay asked.

Rob handed the bag over, a concerned expression on his face, “Everything alright?”

“Yup, we'll be right back.” Jay replied, leading Kyle toward the family bathroom. The restrooms were around a corner in a twisting hallway, allowing them to slip in unnoticed. 

Kyle walked in and shyly covered his crotch. “I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I saw the man in the uniform...and...and I got nervous and when I get nervous it happens and I never have accidents this much...I don't know why I am now and I'm so so sorry.” he said, shifting nervously around.

Jay walked over and gave the boy a great big hug. “Now look here little boy. This is what daddies are for and this is why you have a pull-up on, yea? So let Daddy help you change.” he said with a warm smile. Kyle watched as Daddy took out wipes, a fresh pull-up, and baby powder. 

“I feel so stupid.” whined Kyle, burying his face in his hands. 

“None of that now sweetie. Your daddies love taking care of you and having your trust. You're not stupid, you're special and don't you forget it.” Jay tickled Kyle's belly eliciting a shy giggle. He crouched down and helped the boy out of his pants, folding them over the hand rail. Then pulled off the wet pull-up and wiped the little guy down with a wet wipe. With his hands on Jay's shoulder's for balance, Kyle allowed himself to be helped into a dry diaper after having being patted with some baby powder. Jay helped him back into his clothes and asked if his boy needed to go some more. Kye tried but wasn't able to get anything more out. He hesitated as his Daddy stood behind him at the sink. 

“I can do it myself.” Kyle said.

“I know you can sweetpea, but I'm helping you anyway.” said Jay, holding his hands on top of Kye's and helping the boy to soap them up, rinse and dry them.

Rob was waiting for them just outside the door with a stack of books in his arms. “All better now?” he asked, bringing Kye in for a hug. The boy nodded, and leaned his head against his Papa's chest, comforted by the tight squeeze he got in return. “It's been a long day, yea? How about we check out and head back home?” The three of them did just that.

Little did Kyle know that he was in for a big surprise when he got home. He had yet to see his nursery/playroom that would soon be filled with everything he could have dreamed of.


	6. Oh baby!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle's daddies are nervous about what how he'll react to their surprise.

Rob and Jay kept Kyle awake on the ride home, hoping that they in doing so they would increase the chances of their boy sleeping well that night. Finding that their little man was not very talkative, they put on some kid's music and encouraged him to sing along. Jay sang loud and purposely off-key and tickled Kyle until he joined in. Everyone was smiling and lighthearted as Rob pulled the car into the drive. They each held out a hand for their little guy and walked toward the house together. When they reached the steps leading up to the door, Rob said, “Ready? Hold on tight!” Then both his daddies said, “One, two, three, up!” and they lifted him up in the air, swinging him straight up to the top of the three steps. 

Kyle let out a carefree laugh, “That was so fun!” he exclaimed. 

When Rob let go of Kye's hand to open the door, Jay wrapped both hands around the boy's waist and swung him side to side, legs dangling like strands of spaghetti, and put him down just inside the door. The little guy turned around and hugged his Daddy, burying his face in the man's big, warm chest. Jay held him, gently rubbing the top of his boy's head. He bent down and lifted Kye into his arms, “Papa and Daddy have a surprise for you, little man. We need about a half hour to everything ready. Would you like to watch a video?” he asked. 

“Noo, I wanna cuddle!” he whined. 

“We can do that in a little bit, buddy. You wouldn't want to miss out on your surprise, would you?” Jay asked, walking over to the couch. 

“Yess, I would!” he argued in a voice so childishly pitched that it was hard for Jay not to gush over how cute he was being. 

“Be a good boy for Daddy. I'll get you your turtle and some juice while you pick out a movie.” he laid the lightweight on the floor and showed him their movie drawers before walking down the hall to catch up with his partner. 

Rob was bringing in the last stack of boxes that were stashed in trunk of the car. Jay reached over and took a few precariously positioned small boxes off the top of the stack. “Well that was fast! What'd you do, throw everything in the through the window?” Joked Jay. 

Rob set the rest of the things down on the nursery floor and put his hands on hips, surveying the piles of items yet to be unpacked and put in away. “You laugh, love, but I considered it.” he said with a worried smile. “Do you think we're doing the right thing, what if we freak the kid out?”

“Honey, he has nightmares, he needs diapers, lets, or rather needs, us to feed him. The kid just got fussy when I said we'd be busy for a few minutes because he wanted cuddles. Look, I still have to grab him his turtle and a drink, but then we can talk about this some more, k?” Jay gave Rob bicep a reassuring squeeze. 

“Yea, I know you're right. He more or less asked me to stay with him for his bath, and he needed you to rock him to sleep last night...” he said, trailing off in thought. 

“Right, so don't question it so much. The more confidence he gets from us, the more he can let go.” Jay said, giving his partner a quick peck on the mouth before seeing to Kye. When he returned to the living room with the toy and drink, it was to find his little guy with a big blanket over his head. He snuck over slowly and picked the little bundle in the blanket into his arms, tipping him upside down. “Who's hiding in these blankets!?” Jay growled. 

Kyle giggled, “Put me down, Daddy! It's a blanket sandwiiich!”

“Looks more like a silly sandwich to me!” Jay said, folding the boy up in his arms. 

“Noo, it's to be warm in! A blanket under and a blanket on top and then you go inside like a sandwich!” Kye said with an audible grin. 

“Ohhh, well in that case, I'll be the chef!” Jay announced, setting Kyle carefully back on the floor for a moment and unburying the boy's head. “Zis eez how we do eet. First, you take zee fresh baked bread.” he began with a comedic french accent. He put half of a fuzzy brown blanket down and folded the other side over the edge. “Next come zee vegetables, et zee cheese from zee we buy from zee market.” he said adding the next blankets. “Et finally, we add zee secret ingredient!” he picked Kye up and put him on top of the blankets, then folded the other halves on top of the boy, tucking him in tight. “Et viola, zee perfect sandweech!” Jay exclaimed, to his now riotously giggling boy. 

“Now let's see what you picked.” he lifted the case off the table, reading the title, “Winnie the Pooh?” 

Kyle nodded, “Yes please.” 

Jay put the movie in and started it. “Now if you're going to take a drink sit up a bit, but no leaving the couch, okay? If you need anything just call out for one of us.” He left Kyle to his video and went to check on Rob. 

The flurry of activity in the nursery was such that no one but Jay would have believed that it could be created by one man. Unlike Jay, who worked slowly and methodically, Rob would reflect on a situation for a few moments and then dive in like a worker bee. The trait was a great one for a programmer, but the man would have driven himself ragged if he hadn't acquired a calming influence in the form of Jay. Then again, he remembered how lost he felt as a social worker before meeting Rob, who had finally helped him get his writing career up and running. They were a model couple in a lot of ways, but they kept their search for an adult baby boy a secret from all but their closest friends. Each had their own reasons, but both felt a deep desire to have a little guy to care for, nurture, and yes, occasionally spoil. 

“Where would you like me to start, hun?” Jay asked. 

“Could you add those books to the bookshelf over there?” he asked, pointing to a short bookshelf painted yellow with little picture of a train on the bottom front and the word 'storytime' stenciled on the top front.” 

“Sure thing. By the way, what movie do you suppose the little guy chose?” 

Rob pulled the tags off some stuffed animals, a teddy bear, duck, and lamb. “I'm guessing it wasn't Rambo, eh?” 

“Heh, no, although that would be difficult to do since we don't own it. He picked out Winnie the Pooh, babe. That should calm your anxieties a lot, yea?” 

“It does, but you know how I am, I'll worry right up to the moment I see his reaction.”

When they were finished, the men cleared away the debris of boxes and bags and returned for Kye. The boy was cuddled up on the couch, so entranced by Piglet and Roo's dilemma that he didn't hear his daddies coming. Pausing the movie, the two older men lifted their cuddly little guy to sit between them. 

“We have your surprise ready, but I want you to know something first. Whether or not you like it or choose to use it, we will care about you just the same and still want you to be with us. Okay?” Rob asked, tucking a finger under Kyle's chin until the boy's bright eyes met his own. 

“Papa Robby, you're scaring me.” he said with a quaver. 

“Come on Honey, we'll show you. You're gonna love it.” said Jay, taking the boy's hand. 

Kyle walked up to the door of a room that he hadn't been in yet. It was directly beside his daddies' room. There were little square letters on the door that were painted like wooden blocks and spelled out his name. At their prompting, he opened it and stepped inside. 

It was like nothing he'd ever seen, or could have imagined. The walls were pale yellow, which led his eyes down to a cream colored rug. To his right was a crib with a mattress fitted with a light blue sheet. A basket sat between the bookshelf and a light blue bureau, filled with stuffed animals. There was a toy chest sitting opened and full of brightly colored things that he'd never seen before. Beside the crib was a rocking chair and a table with a lamp. The lamp made to look like a carousel with zoo animals instead of horses. The boy was speechless, he turned around and then around again, he tried to swallow back tears. He couldn't think of anything to say, there weren't big enough words to say for the thanks and the joy and the utter, complete, soul deep relief that he felt. So he did the only thing he could think of; seeing two pacifiers beside the lamp on the nightstand, he took one and put it in his mouth. Then he turned back around to face his daddies, whose faces were lit up with twin grins. 

“Hugs pweesh!” he said around the pacifier, swinging his arms open. And they all did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to go to spend the weekend away for a wedding in the family. I'll still be writing, but won't be able to update until some time on Monday. Sorry guys.


	7. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of love and a concerning call from Sammy.

Kyle relaxed in the comfort of his daddies' arms. He breathed in their clean, masculine scents, and sighed contentedly. The day had been a busy and exciting one for all of them and after helping their little boy into a fresh pair of pajamas, they reheated their leftover food and allowed Kye to finish his movie. Rob fed his little boy small bites of sandwich while curled up in the large living room recliner. Although they usually frowned upon eating while distracted by television, the couple found that Kyle was able to eat more when his focus was diverted from his temperamental stomach. Determined to help their picky eater put on some weight, they had purchased a case of nutrition shakes online. 

“Here Kye, see if you like this.” Jay said, handing his boy a sippy cup filled with the drink. He watched the boy's face screw up with disgust, his small body giving an involuntary shudder. “That bad, huh?” 

“Yucky, bleh, no more!” 

“Hmm, let's see. Well do you like milk? We could try some milk or even warm milk, yea?” Jay offered. 

“No! Makes me sick Daddy.” Kyle covered his mouth with his hands. 

Both Rob and Jay chuckled at that. “Okay sweetheart, we won't give you that. What if me or Papa got you some Lactaid?” 

Their little man thought for a moment and then shrugged, reaching for his pacifier on the side table. Rob blocked his reach, holding the desired object between two fingers. “Ah, ah, not so fast mister. Answer Daddy first please.”

“I try it. Chocky?” he asked, still engaged in a silent, and comically futile, struggle to remove his binky from Rob's grasp. 

“I'll see if they have it.” Jay replied, then looked to Rob, “Anything else we need at the supermarket?” 

“Nothing I can think of, although actually, we're going through apple juice at an alarming rate, so maybe some more of that.” 

Jay kissed Rob, then kissed Kyle and tickled his belly. “Be back in a jiff.” 

While they waited for Jay, Rob rocked his little boy gently while they finished their movie. When it was over, Kyle asked for a story. His Papa smiled, “I think that's an excellent idea. Let's go see what we've got.” He lifted the lightweight into his arms and carried him to the nursery. When he set the boy down, Kyle crawled over to his bookshelf and became absorbed in his search, all the while sucking unabashedly on his binky. He picked a book and turned around to discover his Papa sitting on the floor behind him. “What you pick?” he asked, taking the book that the boy handed to him. “The Berenstain Bears and the Bad Dream? Good choice.” he said, not surprised that the boy had gravitated to a book about nightmares. 

They were halfway through the story when Jay returned from the store and popped his head in the nursery to say hello. He came back in a few minutes later with a bottle and two mugs set on a small wooden tray. “Tea for you, love. And for my special little guy, a bottle of warm chocolate milk.” Rob reached up for the tray so that Jay could sit next to them. He handed the bottle to Kyle, who sucked on it for a moment, then becoming absorbed in the book, he simply held the nipple of the bottle between his lips, not drinking. 

When the book was finished Kyle said, “Next one!” before Rob had closed the book. 

Rob looked over to Jay, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Let's get ready for bed and then you can have another one.” said Jay.

Kyle popped the binky in his mouth and scowled, but allowed Jay to lay him on the changing mat. “Well, well, I didn't know you were capable of such a menacing look, little man. Is being changed really that bad?” The boy shook his head. 

“I think someone is getting tired.” Rob observed, retrieving some pajamas from the dresser. 

Jay pulled off Kyle's pants, and opened his wet diaper, not commenting on the fact that the boy hadn't asked to be changed, instead making a mental note to check on him more often. He wiped and cleaned him, put on a fresh diaper, and took the onesie that Rob had chosen, pulling it on and snapping it shut. Leading the way into the bathroom, he washed Kyle's face and prepared a toothbrush, holding his hand on top of the boy's to help him brush. Then lifting the boy into his arms, he went to sit in the nursery rocking chair, seeing that Rob had already pulled up another chair next to it. 

“Have you read this one before?” he asked, holding up The Wind in the Willows. Kyle shook his head, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “I think you'll like this one then.” said Jay. 

Rob read while Jay listened and slowly rocked Kyle. Seeing that the boy was forgetting to drink his bottle, Jay held it up, feeding the little guy. It wasn't long until Kyle was already fast asleep and Jay lifted him into the crib and tucked him in, clicking on the baby monitor before turning out the light. 

The two men were soon curled up, cuddling in their own bed when they saw their home phone flashing. Thankful that Jay had remembered to set their ringer to silent, Rob answered, “Hello, Rob speaking.”

“Uh, hi. Is Kyle there? It's Sammy.” said a faltering female voice.

“He's already sleeping, is everything alright?” Rob asked. 

“Yes, well...no. I can't tell you the details because I officially don't know them myself, if you catch my meaning. It's just, look...they're gonna wanna know where Kye is and they'll make him give his testimony. It's kinda good, because at least some stuff has been uncovered, but they're gonna be fighting back, too. It's not gonna be easy on him. I don't know what I can do, but I had to tell him.” she said, audibly fighting back tears. 

“Slow down, are you talking about that scum of an officer that abused him?” Rob asked with a snarl. 

“Yea, sorry, it turns out some other people who he'd er...abused...threatened to go to the media, so they're investigating it now, and he's being subpoenaed.” she said with a deep sigh. 

“Do you know of anyone who'll be on his side in this?” 

“Well, I wouldn't rely on the court martial process to see Kye as anything but a pawn in the game. So I'd suggest finding someone experienced with the military justice system if you're able to. I don't know how involved you guys are with him, or if he's a house guest?” 

“We'll do everything in our power to help him. We love the kid.” 

“Good, cause so do I. Sorry, but I gotta go. Just, don't tell anyone you heard anything from me, alright?” she hung up before Rob could respond. 

“Did you hear all that?” he asked, looking into Jay's eyes. 

Jay squeezed Rob's hands, “All of it. What are we going to do? Our little boy cannot handle this right now, he still has nightmares and barely eats even with all our help.” 

“Come here, babe.” Rob pulled Jay into his arms and they held each other for a long time. “We'll take care of him. If this ordeal is inevitable, then at least he has us and we have each other.”


	8. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their strengthening family bond will soon prove crucial to weather the coming challenges.

Papa and Daddy were watching Kyle play with his train set the following afternoon, neither of them convinced of the right way to handle the last night's phone call. From the kitchen they were able to watch the boy playing while conversing outside of his hearing. 

Rob scratched the stubble on his chin, considering Jay's suggestion that they contact an old friend who had moved to Australia a couple years prior. Kate was their only friend who also had an adult baby. Her little girl, Dylan, came from a rough background and had needed a lot of support when she was taken in by Kate. If anyone would know how to help, it would be them. They pulled out their laptop and composed an email. 

Kate, 

We hope all is well with you and little Dylan. Our little guy has been settling in well and is already eating and sleeping better. He is still plagued by nightmares, often waking in such a sweat that he needs to be changed. Usually he is able to calm with a warm bottle, his pacifier, lullabies, or stories. 

Last night we got a concerning phone call from Kye's friend. As you likely remember, we knew that he had been harassed and abused by a superior officer. When he sought help, Kyle was blamed for the mistreatment and accused of making false allegations. He was refused a medical discharge and as is so often the case, he was diagnosed with a preexisting personality disorder. It's happened to people with brain injury and post traumatic stress, so it sadly comes as no surprise that they did the same to our little guy. 

We're not sure how to help him. Of course we're looking into getting him the best legal aid that we can, but the poor kid is just starting to calm. We've done enough research to know that he'll be expected to give a detailed statement, but we haven't even begun to consider when or how he can transition out of his headspace. 

Any advice you can give or contacts that you might still have in this area would be helpful. We've attached a picture of Kye half asleep, snuggled up on Jay's lap with a binky hanging halfway out of his mouth.

Love,   
Rob and Jay. 

\- - 

While they waited for Kate's response, Daddy and Papa tried to take their minds off their predicament by keeping themselves and Kyle busy. That afternoon was sunny with a refreshingly cool breeze. Kyle wanted to play Calvinball; an idea which was no doubt inspired by the prior hour spent flipping through comics. He was endlessly delighted by being the only one allowed to change the rules. When Daddy had the ball, Kyle made a rule that everyone had to tackle Daddy. Then when Papa had the ball, Kyle said that he had to balance it on his head. When it was Kyle's turn to catch the ball, he made Daddy carry him on his shoulders past Papa and then he threw the ball to the ground and declared himself the winner. 

When they went back inside, Kyle was hit by a wave of exhaustion. “Papa, I think a nap time.” he said with a yawn. 

Rob picked up his boy with a look of concern that was quickly replaced by a not wholly convincing smile. “Okay sweets, how about a bottle?” 

Kyle yawned again, “Yes please.” 

Rob made up two bottles, one with juice and one with cold water. He took the boy to the nursery and checked his pull-up before laying him down in the crib. 

“Daddy?” mumbled Kye.

“Hmm?” 

“Where you find a big crib like this?” he asked, stretching out his legs. 

“What do you mean sweetie? We bought it at the store.” Papa said, confused. 

“They make it so big?” 

Rob gently laid his hand on Kyle's head. “It's not so very big, it's just the standard size for little kiddos, we bought it right off the shelf.”

“Oh, I'm small...” he whispered. 

“Yea, you're our little guy with a very big heart. Now go to sleep and Daddy and Papa will be right here if you need us.” said Papa with a kiss on his boy's forehead. 

\- -

Robby and Jay, 

It's great to get an update on your newest addition. He looks so sweet, although that's always the way when they're sleeping, isn't it? 

I've done a little bit of calling around to see what resources are still available in your area. A lot my contacts are still current, so that's the good news. I tracked down a legal whiz who is an old friend and owes me more than one favor, and I'd suggest giving a call to the therapist I've listed as well. If my experience is any indicator, then I would be prepared for your little one to regress after you break the news to him about this predicament. Whatever he does, the best thing for it is to nurture him while still enforcing the house rules. He might start spinning out and he'll need you both to be his rocks. 

Please let me know how it goes. 

Kate. 

\- - 

Jay looked up from the computer screen and glanced at the picture of their little boy covered in chocolate after a wonderfully fun afternoon experiment in candy making. That Kye ended up with most of the chocolate in his mouth or on his face was really a success as far as the older men were concerned, since it represented a much needed calorie bonus for the boy. He leaned back in his office chair, taking a deep breath, beginning to formulate a plan. 

In the family room, Kye was asleep on the couch with sun shining on him through the western facing window. Rob was seated at their puzzle table, crouched over the small cuckoo clock that he'd been meticulously repairing. He looked up, sensing his partner's watchful gaze, and seeing only a big, blurry blob, remembered to take of his magnifying glasses. He smiled, reaching out a hand, which Jay took, allowing himself to be pulled down atop his partner, sharing a long, tender kiss. 

“Mmm, what was that all about?” asked Jay. 

Rob pretended to look taken aback, “Can't a guy share his love with you?” 

“A guy can most definitely do that,” Jay said, mouth nestled by his ear, “How about a little more practice?” 

Rob glanced over at Kyle, sleeping soundly. Jay ran a hand through his lover's hair, “He'll be out for a while, he had an active morning. We can set up the monitor, just in case.”

Rob relaxed, “Well, I'm out of arguments, so I must surrender to your ravaging hands.” 

A short while later, they laid on their backs, naked and panting. “That was...” Rob began.

“... yummy?” suggested Jay. 

“Fan-flippin-tastic...it was like...ordering the whole menu.” Rob moaned. 

“Plus dessert!” added Jay, punctuating his words with a deep kiss. He finally rolled over, supporting his head with his hand. “I heard from Kate.” 

“Yea? What'd she say?” Rob leaned up on his elbow. 

“Mostly what we expected; she had some referrals for us. Knowing her she's already gone ahead and made the first contact with them to smooth the initial introductions. She recommended a lawyer and also a psychologist who are both sensitive to Kyle's needs. We should be prepared to see some regression, and I imagine some acting out, when we break this to him. And she reiterated the need for us to stay consistent.” Jay explained. 

Rob nodded, narrowing his eyes in thought, “Yes, that sounds about right. I saw something in the mail today from the JAG headquarters, so it's time to talk to him.”

“Agreed, after his nap then?” Jay suggested. 

“Guess, so.” sighed Rob with resignation.


	9. Meltdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle has a slightly delayed reaction to the worrisome news. He regresses further, but his daddies are there to take care of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day! 
> 
> A big thanks to those who commented thus far. I would LOVE to hear from some of the other readers out there. Comments are like dark chocolate; consuming them releases endorphins and you can never get enough!

Kyle woke up alone, the menu of his movie was playing on a constant 10 second loop, he was wet, and his turtle was missing. His eyes brimmed with tears, he tried taking a deep breath and called out, “Papa! Daddy! Where are you? Hello?!! Daddyyyy! Paaapaaaa! Come baaaack!” he started crying in earnest. 

The two older men startled awake from their unintentional nap, the sound of their little boy's cries were amplified by the baby monitor. They sprang out of bed and practically jogged into the family room. “What's wrong, baby?” asked Rob. 

“Wet, and that (he pointed to the TV), and turtle hiding, and youuuu wereeee goooneee!” he wailed. 

Jay picked the boy up, bouncing him gently while walking to the nursery. “Shh now, it's all okay, Daddy is here. We'll change, Papa will get your turtle, you'll be just fine.” 

“Binky?” sniffled the boy. 

“How about we blow that nose, and then binky?” Daddy offered. He laid the boy down and held up the tissue to his nose and wiping it clear. Then he reached into the drawer and pulled out a fresh binky. “Here you go sweetie, is that better?”

Kyle nodded, sucking furiously on his pacifier, his breathing slowed and he wiped his drying eyes with his shirtsleeve. 

“Look who I found.” Papa announced, holding up the stuffed turtle. 

“Thank you Papa, where was he?” asked Kyle, holding out his hands for his friend. 

“He was hiding behind one of the couch cushions.” 

“Blinky, you shouldn't do that, you'll make me worry!” the boy admonished his toy, holding it tightly. 

Once he was changed, Kyle's daddies led him into their room and sat beside him on the big bed. That never happened after a nap, so he knew something bad was coming. “What is it? Are you gonna make me leave you? Whatever I did, I'm sorry!” he was growing flustered and panicky. 

“No sweet boy, nothing like that. We love you! We just need to talk so we can help you better, okay?” soothed Rob.

Kyle looked up with sad eyes and a worried brow, “Kay.” 

“Honey, Sammy called us a couple nights ago when you were asleep. She heard some news about the officer who hurt you.” Rob began. 

“Is Sammy okay?” cried Kyle. 

Jay combed his hand through the boy's hair, “She's just fine, sweetpea. But someone else reported that bad man, just like you did. He needs help, so his lawyers have asked you to tell them what happened to you.”

“Okay.” said Kyle, nonplussed.

“Honey, a letter came in the mail today from his lawyers. That means you'll have to talk to someone from the court and maybe be called as a witness, if it goes that far. We're going to talk to another lawyer who will be all your own, to make sure that no one treats you unfairly.” Rob continued. 

“And we'll be with you every step of the way.” Jay added. 

“Okay, but I can't afford a lawyer.” said Kyle flatly. 

“Your daddies can afford one, which means you can afford one, because we are all one family.” said Rob. 

“Okay.” Kyle shrugged, then put his pacifier in his mouth and sat there motionless. 

Not sure what to do next, and wholly unprepared for this type of a reaction, or rather non-reaction, they went on with their usual routine. The men worked in tandem, preparing Kyle's favorite snack of apple slices with cheese, but the boy refused to eat. Rob tried taking away his binky, but Kyle only popped his thumb in his mouth. When he asked if the little guy wanted anything else, Kyle simply shook his head. At a loss for what else to do, Jay heated a bottle of chocolate milk and handed it to Rob. Once they were settled in the rocking chair, Kyle drank from the bottle that his Papa held for him. 

When he was done with his bottle, the boy crawled down on the floor, pulled a blanket over his head, and watched his turtle blink while it played soft music. He sat cross legged, rocking slightly, and sucked his thumb. 

Rob and Jay shared a worried look. Then Rob mouthed, “Call the doctor?” to which Jay nodded. Rob left the room, returning fifteen minutes later and saw Kyle hadn't moved at all. He sat next to his partner and spoke in a low voice, “He had a cancellation tomorrow and said he could get us in, if that's alright. I said we'd be there.” 

“Does he know...” Jay started. 

“Yes and he's experienced with littles.” 

“Stop talking 'bout me!!!” Kyle shouted, standing with the blanket still draped over him. 

It was all the older men could do to keep from laughing at the boy, but they swallowed their amusement. “Kyle, yelling is not allowed. Speak nicely please.” said Rob. 

Kyle whipped the blanket off and stomped his foot. “I don't like it! No, no, NO!” he screamed, slamming his fists against his sides. 

“You're showing us that you need to calm down. Go stand in the corner.” Rob ordered. 

Kyle stood there, glaring in defiance. When Rob stood, Kyle flinched, but the man only put his hands on the boys shoulders and walked him to the corner. “Stay there and think about how to use your nice words.”

Kyle stared at the wall, he was mad. 'No more bad words, then no to any words. No to bad guys, no to mean daddies, no to bad things, no to strangers, and no to everything!' he thought. He was completely unaware of his actions when he was suddenly hoisted into the air. 

Rob was in the laundry room while Jay was watching Kyle. He heard the banging and ran into the family room. The little guy was slamming his head hard against the wall. Jay leapt to his feet and lifted the boy by his waist. Kyle flailed his limbs wildly, narrowly missing Jay's face, although clearly not aiming for the man purposely. He made quiet shushing sounds and sat down with the boy between his legs. Jay wrapped his legs over Kyle's, then crossed the boy's arms, holding his hands against his sides, and held on tightly, gently rocking the boy. 

They stayed like that for a long time. Rob eventually brought over water for Jay and a bottle filled with ice water for Kyle. When the boy calmed enough to keep his arms to himself, Jay fed him the bottle of water, still rocking him gently. At some point, Jay started to feel Kyle trembling with tiny shivers, and asked Rob to run a bath. When the water was ready, Rob lifted the boy, carrying him to the bathroom. Jay took a moment to stretch and gulp his water before joining them. 

Rob undressed his little guy, who despite his outward appearance of spaced out calm, was breathing heavily and rocking side to side. He gently placed the boy into the water. Kyle began a strange moaning sound that Rob recognized as something akin to crying without the tears. Unsure how to help, he decided to follow his instincts and rubbed the boy's back while singing Kyle's favorite lullaby. Jay joined in, filling the small room with a beautiful harmony. 

When Kyle finally calmed, he started to suck his thumb until Jay gently replaced it with a pacifier. If the boy was bothered by this, or had even registered the exchange, he failed to show it. Rob had to wash the boy completely, not that he minded, but the little guy usually insisted on rinsing his own hair and scrubbing his own behind, making his lack of protest remarkable. The same pattern followed as he dried the boy off, put on a fresh diaper and jammies, and carried him to the kitchen. 

Jay heated some organic chicken nuggets and sliced up some strawberries. He expected it when Kyle refused to feed himself the chicken, but was thrown off when he wouldn't open up to be fed by Jay. “Come on buddy, you've gotta eat. You'll get sick if you don't eat enough.” he said, trying to coax a small piece of chicken between the boy's lips. “Okay then, how about strawberries? They're you're favorite!” Jay tried to sound enthusiastic, attempting to suppress his growing concern, but Kyle only held his lips tight and shook his head. “Alright, then you need to have the nutrition shake, sorry buddy.” Jay tasted it, then thought that perhaps heating it had made it worse the last time around and opted to add ice cubes instead. He sipped it and decided the flavor had at least a slight improvement. Lifting Kyle out of his chair, he carried the boy into the nursery, and rocked him while feeding the bottle. This time, there was no protest; the little guy leaned right up against his Daddy and sucked slowly on the drink, contented by Jay's flowing stream of praise. 

Rob came in a few minutes later and they began their bedtime routine early. Jay brushed Kyle's teeth for him, and scrubbed his face. He made up a bottle of water and another of warm milk. Rob rocked him while Jay read another chapter of The Wind in the Willows, halfway through, Kyle fell asleep. He hadn't spoken a word since his earlier outburst, leaving Rob and Jay to wonder how their little boy would take to the meeting with the psychologist.


	10. Therapy part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First part of trip to therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A great big THANKS! to #lab_girl, #sayhesinLOVE, #Kaya, #Jasmine, # RandomPerson, and any commenters I may have missed! !Comments are such great motivators. 
> 
> Trying to update every other day, or at least 3 times a week. Thanks for all the KUDOS too!

Kyle's appointment wasn't until the end of the day and he was increasingly fussy. No one had slept well, but it was wearing on their boy much more than on either of them. He did not eat any breakfast and only drank half the bottle they fed him. Everything was a struggle, getting dressed took twice as long, and Kyle refused every activity they offered. Still not speaking, he communicated with subtle tilts and twists of his head. At lunchtime, Rob insisted that Kyle put some food in his mouth, confident that the boy had a nervous stomach that could use something to cushion its rawness. The boy ate bits of toast until his Papa looked satisfied. 

After lunch, Jay lifted Kyle into his arms and carried him to the nursery. “Alrighty, how about we finally trade those jammies for some daytime clothes? It's getting chilly out, so maybe some jeans, your blue tee shirt with the turtle sweatshirt, and your thick socks?” Little Kye gave a half smile behind his binky. 

“Good boy, let's change you into a dry diaper and then we'll go for a little walk. That always makes me feel better. The leaves are falling and we can see if there are any apples growing on our apple tree yet.” said Jay. He carried on a stream of happy, soothing thoughts, until his boy was all ready. Holding the little guy on his hip, Jay turned in the hallway and knocked on the office door. 

“What's up?” asked Rob, opening the door, kissing Kyle on the cheek. 

“We're going for a walk around the block, maybe follow that loop around the school grounds down the road.” Jay said. 

“That sounds like fun. Be good for Daddy, little guy. And Jay, don't forget a hat for him, please. In case it's windy.” Rob added, looking from Jay to Kyle, and back again. 

When Jay let Kyle down, he took away the boy's pacifier, which was swiftly replaced by a thumb. Sighing, Jay pulled a ring pop from his pocket, which Kyle accepted. They walked outside, Jay holding on tightly to Kyle's hand, though the boy tried to shake him off. “No, no, we hold hands, sweetie. People won't mind and those who do, don't matter.” Jay said with a matter-of-fact attitude.

Unspeaking, Kyle reached out a hand again, letting his Daddy squeeze it tightly. Privately, he felt safer that way. They walked down the quiet street, under the shadows of shedding trees, at some point taking turns kicking a stone ahead of them. Jay turned around before they reached the turn around at the school, having seen the crowded parking lot near the outdoor track, he assumed that the place would be packed for some sporting event. By the time they were back to their own yard, Kyle was lagging behind, no matter how much Jay tried to slow down, the boy was determined to drag his feet. As soon as he got inside, Kyle lifted up his arms and Jay obligingly picked him up. 

“Hey hon, it's already 4:30, we've got to be there in an hour.” Rob called out, hustling toward the beeping microwave while trying to knot his tie. 

“Our walk was just fine thanks, but how are you?” Jay was slightly affronted, though calmed by the presence of Kyle's head on his shoulder. 

“Sorry, I'm just nervous. I want him to think we're good parents, ya know?” apologized Rob. 

“I'm sure he will...here let me help with that.” said Jay, sitting Kye on the counter top. Rob leaned toward Jay while still somehow simultaneously screwing the lid on the warmed bottle. 

Kyle watched his Daddy trying to fix Papa's toy, when he was struck with a feeling that he really wanted to help. So when Papa held up the bottle, Kyle opened his mouth for it, leading Papa to lean in further so he could feed his little boy. Little Kye reached forward, nudging Daddy's hands out of the way, he untied the tie, and in a series of motions that were marked with the competence of an action completed by muscle memory, made a perfect knot. 

Daddy looked to Papa, “Well how about that? Of course the Navy would require a sailor to be able to tie their uniform with precision, especially when it's a knot, for chrissake!” 

“Thanks little buddy,” said Papa, “such a thoughtful boy.” Then he turned to Daddy, “Go ahead, have a quick shower and a change, I'll finish feeding him.” he nodded to the intently nursing boy. 

“Thanks love,” Jay answered. He scratched his chin, “Should I shave this stubble, you think?” 

“Oh, don't, it's so sexy, and I doubt a competent clinician would be so superficially judgmental.” Rob kissed his partner, giving his bottom a light squeeze. “Now off with you before I get too eager.” he whispered before heading to the family room. As they rocked, Papa talked to his quiet boy, “Good thing Daddy made you thirsty with that walk. You need the nutrition, little guy. I think you'll like our new friend; he seems very kind, even made me feel better just talking about making our appointment. Oh, here's Papa, let's have a change and then put on an extra coat for the ride.” 

Kyle snuck his favorite blanky into the car, though Rob and Jay had seen him do it and thought it was too cute to ruin by mentioning it. Daddy let him brink his blinky turtle and pacifier. They said that this place would be special because the new friend liked talking to little guys just like their Kye. 

From the street, the building looked like nothing special. The sign in the rear parking lot pointed to the left door for eye exams and glass fittings. To the right was a red door with a sign that said “Esperanza” in shiny white letters. Both Papa and Daddy held Kyle's hands as they entered the office. 

No one made Kye drop his blanket, nor did they take away his pacifier, which felt better. They didn't care if people liked him and some little tickle far off in his brain said that was a very good thing. No one else occupied the large plush seats in the waiting room. Rob sat down, Kyle curling up against him, with closed eyes, he buried his face in Papa's chest, clinging to the older man's shirt. 

The floor creaked as Jay walked around, admiring the murals on the walls. “Look, there's a rainbow, pandas hiding in the bamboo, and ooh Kye! It's a turtle and a rabbit having a race.” Kyle nodded without looking up, causing his Daddy to come give him a big hug. “You'll be just fine, kiddo, I promise, promise. We'll even stay in there if you like. You're very safe and we can leave any time you like, okay?” Kyle nodded. 

Rob tried to pull his boy away enough to be able to see his face, a maneuver that was only halfway successful. “You understand, buddy? Your daddies will keep you safe and listen to you, any time you want to go, that's okay. We won't be angry, you won't get in trouble, yea?” Papa had to be satisfied with a silent nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I'm thinking of writing another (completely separate) series that would involve characters from the series "Arrow"! Naturally with the Arrow as the Daddy. Would anyone be into that? Lemme know.


	11. Not so bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle has to see a psychologist, but it turns out to be nothing like he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, dear readers, but I was under the weather. Thanks to lab_girl, sayhesinLOVE, and Sammm for the comments! 
> 
> <3

Waiting rooms had always made Kyle feel unnerved, and his first visit to Dr. Anderson was no exception. The office door opened and a petite young woman wearing overalls, her hair in braided pigtails, walked out hand in hand with a tall, trim man. In the girl's free hand was a plush doll with matching braided pigtails. Kyle didn't realize what he was doing until his Daddy put an arm around his shoulder and said, “It's not polite to stare, mister.” Before he had a chance to reply, a smiling man with olive skin and hazel eyes introduced himself as Jacob Anderson. 

Daddy and Papa stood, introducing themselves while Kyle tried to hide behind his Papa. Daddy shook the doctor's hand, “Thank you so much for seeing us on such short notice, doctor.” 

“Not at all.” he said, shaking both their hands. “Please, just call me Jake. And this must be Kyle?” 

Daddy nodded, gently rubbing Kyle's back. “Sure is. He's a little shy right now.” 

“Nothing wrong with that.” said Jake. “Please come in, sit anywhere you like.” 

The little family of three sat on a long couch with Kyle surreptitiously eyeing the toys throughout the room. He expected Jake to talk to his Daddies while he just nodded or something, but then realized that the stranger was asking him questions. Some were easy, like “Do you want Rob and Jay to stay in the room with you?” which seemed weird because that wasn't their names; they were Papa Robby and Daddy Jay. Then he asked Kyle if he wanted to talk, which seemed like a very silly question because Kyle wasn't talking, and it wasn't a matter of “could talk,” or “want to talk,” because the truth was that he didn't talk and that was it. 

“Okay, would you like to explore some of the toys?” asked Jake. 

Kyle looked up at Papa and Daddy, who each gave him a reassuring nod. He didn't really feel like playing while they all stared at him, so instead he slid onto the rug and looked at the shelves of toys without touching anything. He heard Jake say, “You know what, let's all play!” Then his Daddies were on the floor and so was the doctor, which made Kyle smirk because doctors aren't supposed to sit on floors. Papa and Daddy picked out matching dolls made out of a bendy material that they could pose into any position. Jake opened a box that held a flat wooden boy who wore only underwear, but had lots of wood clothes and accessories which stuck to the boy with magnets. The toy that Jake had looked fun, but it wasn't nice to steal, so he pulled something rainbow colored out from the bottom shelf. It was a soft pad with a little speaker in the corner. He pushed on the colored boxes and they played music notes. 

When Kyle wasn't looking, Jay and Rob put down the toys and leaned over, watching their little boy. Jake held his hands up, whispering “Wait until he invites us.” 

“What if he doesn't?” hissed Rob. 

Jake went back to fiddling with the toy in his hands while shifting his position to afford himself a better vantage to observe Kyle. “It's his therapy so we let him be in control. Wait and see.” 

As time dragged on, the two partners were silently questioning if they'd made the right choice. They thought the doctor would have some kind of treatment plan, but the boy was just playing. Then like spectators at a tennis match, they moved their heads in unison toward a very faint sound of singing. No, not singing...humming, but that was still more than they'd heard from their boy since he'd gone quiet. 

Kyle liked the musical mat and he liked that Jake was so interested in it, even though Kyle wasn't supposed to know the doctor was staring at him. The music made him feel more calm, and he loved that he could do anything he wanted and they HAD to let him! So he pushed on the squares and somewhere along the way, had started humming two little notes back and forth. Then he had an idea, and giggling to himself, Kyle sat back and started pressing the mat with his heels instead of his hands. He hadn't any idea what was so very funny, but he couldn't stop laughing and pounding his feet. The moment was gone nearly as soon as it had begun and the three older men watched the boy slide the toy toward Jake. 

“Is it my turn now?” asked the doctor. Kyle nodded as he crawled into his Papa's lap. Rob gently smoothed his boy's hair as Jake began playing 'The Wheels on the Bus.' At first Kyle only watched, humming an occasional note, then he gradually began rocking his body forward and back, softly thudding against Papa's chest to the rhythm of the song. When they were finished with the verses about the wheels and the wipers, the doctor asked Kyle what he wanted to sing about next, but the boy hid his eyes behind his arms. 

“Look, I have this book. Would you like to point to the page that you'd like.” Jake asked. 

Papa gently peeled Kyle's arms down while Daddy held the book out. The boy looked from the doctor to Daddy, who seemed very happy just sitting and watching him. Slowly, with careful attention, he flipped through the pages, until he came to one with lots of dogs riding on the bus. Took pushed the book back toward the doctor, who said, “Ahh, the doggies, what a fun choice!” with an expression that said this was the best idea anyone had ever had. Kyle beamed, watching as Jake showed them how to make their hands open and close like the mouth of a barking dog. They sang several extra verses, with Kyle continuing to dance with his hands, thumping his back into Rob's chest with much more force than he was aware of.   
As the session wound to a close, Jake showed Kyle a treasure chest full of trinkets and invited him to choose one. He rummaged through, bypassing stickers, little green army men, a note card sized coloring page, and some pencils, until he saw a little yellow kazoo way on the bottom of the bin. With his prize chosen he crawled back to his daddies, overhearing them scheduling another appointment. “... and I'll call you tomorrow to discuss my first impressions.” said Jake. 

Papa and Daddy nodded, shaking the doctor's hand and expressing their thanks. Daddy lifted Kyle into his arms, “Watcha got there kiddo?” Kyle held up his kazoo for Jay to see. “Oh, you're gonna drive your daddies crazy with that, aren't you?” laughed Jay. Kyle nodded emphatically, burying his face in the crook of Jay's shoulder, barely moving his fingers when the doctor said goodbye. 

The ride home went by quickly for Kyle, although probably much less so for the two man audience to his loud kazoo solos. Papa took his boy to the nursery for a much needed diaper change while Daddy whipped up a quick dinner. They were still offering Kyle his food at each meal before making up his high calorie bottle. To their surprise, Rob and Jay watched the boy eat a few bites of sweet potato and three bites of grilled chicken before refusing any more food. He was showered with praise and given his bottle, falling asleep before it was finished. It had been a long day, so the older men agreed that it would be better to skip Kyle's nightly bath. Rob carried the boy to his crib and tucked him in while Jay clicked on the night light and the baby monitor. They silently hoped that their little guy might get a sound night's sleep.


	12. Close call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little interlude that I really wanted to write. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to thatcrazyjellyfish for the engaging comments, to M for the enthusiasm!, to Jasmine (I wish he was real, too), to Sage I'm so glad you are connecting with the characters, and thanks to the fans for all the Kudos!

Wind and rain swept through town for days, leaving everyone a little bit stir crazy. Rob and Jay found ways to adapt their old routines to fit into their new life. They set up a playpen in their basement exercise room so that they could get in a workout while Kyle took his nap. To accommodate their work schedules, one parent would spend some time in their home office while the other stayed with Kyle. It wasn't perfect and they were always making adjustments, but life was steadily moving into balance. 

One evening, a few days after his first meeting with the psychologist, Kyle was in his playpen while his daddies got in a late workout session. Normally he would have been napping, but the odd hour meant that he was alert and observant. Papa and Daddy were very strong, their muscles trembled with exertion, sweat darkening the front and back of their tee shirts. Kyle looked down at his thin frame, wishing he were strong like his daddies. They were so confident and capable that they could surely fight off anyone, and he wanted to be just like them. The phone rang and Jay wiped the back of his neck with a towel before answering. 

“Hello...yes, this is Jay. Oh, good to hear from you, hold on just a sec.” Daddy said, stepping out of the room. 

Papa guzzled his water and fueled with concern, he followed after Jay without thinking. Kyle was all alone, contained only by a playpen which was more of visual barrier than a physical one. Unused to being alone, especially with the door closed, the little man felt as if the walls were closing in on him. Overwhelmed by the urge to escape, Kyle leaned on the side of the playpen, rolling it on end and crawling out. He tried rolling the ball that he daddies liked to play catch with, but it was too heavy to push, much heavier even than a bowling ball. He tried lifting one of the free weights, first with one arm, then with two, but he couldn't get it to budge. Finally, he went to a bench and laid on his back under the metal bar, just like he watched his daddies do. This one had to be the easiest because his daddies could do it laying down, and they took turns taking a break and just chatting while watching the other push the bar up and down. He took a deep breath, imitated a grunting sound, and pushed the bar up off its hooks, locking his arms above his head. 

For a moment Kyle felt so strong, lifting the weights high up in the air just like his daddies. He smiled, then started lower it down and was barely able to stop the bar from landing on his neck. Pushing with all his might, the boy could only keep the weight from crushing his wind pipe. Frantically wriggling from side to side, he tried to get out from under the bar, but only succeeded in expending his rapidly fading strength. Ribs prevented from rising, Kyle panted for air, the edges of his vision faded, and his palms grew too sweaty to keep the bar from slipping from his grasp. With his last ounce of strength the boy held off the bar long enough to shriek with terror. He was only half conscious of a deafening slam, followed by a far off voice calling out his name, and then the weight was gone. 

Jay picked up his little boy, shouting Rob's name. Kyle was coughing, sputter, and crying, holding a hand up to his neck. Rob came running in, “What happened?!” he exclaimed. 

“He tried to bench press 200 pounds!” said Jay, nearly hysterical. “Shit Rob, he almost killed himself!” At the sound of the raised voices, Kyle wailed with fright. Jay softly shushed the wailing boy while Rob wiped his face. Pulling off the boy's shirt to inspect his chest, Rob was relieved to see nothing other than a red mark where the bar had weighed on the boy's chest. 

When Kyle's wails faded from soft sobs and then quiet whimpers, his daddies tried to work out what had happened. “Buddy, that was very dangerous. We never touch any of those weights without Papa or Daddy with us. If you want to touch those things, you have to ask for help, okay?” said Rob. 

The boy nodded, wiping away pools of tears with the back of his hand. He leaned into Papa, clinging to the soft cotton shirt, comforted by the scent of sweat and some masculine brand of deodorant. “Good boy,” Jay soothed, “it was just a mistake, you didn't know. We'll keep that door locked, but even if we forget, you never ever touch anything in there unless we are helping you, alright baby boy?” Kyle nodded. “Atta boy, everything is just fine now. You're safe.” Papa cooed. 

After a diaper change, Jay and Rob brought the baby into their room, letting him lay between them on the big bed. He drank a full bottle of cool water, whining in protest when it was pulled away from him. Drifting fitfully in the twilight between sleep and wakefulness, Kyle sucked on what he thought was his pacifier, held tightly by his daddies. Rob looked down to catch the baby with Jay's knuckle held in his mouth. Slowly slipping his phone out of his pocket, Rob snapped a picture of the adorable little boy.


	13. Daddy's Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daddy Jay is worried that he's not doing things right. A late night call halfway across the world helps quell his doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to super awesome commenters who make me excited to keep writing! I want to start giving insight into Jay and Rob over time also. Next chapter goes back to being all about Kyle : )

“What do you think?” Jay had his feet propped up on his desk, balancing a laptop on his outstretched lap, hoping for some reassurance from his friend Kate. He knew that he could be a little more emotional than his husband at times, which was why sometimes Kate's unusual brand of heartfelt pragmatism was just what he needed to regain his footing. In the Skype window she was sipping tea at her kitchen counter, the sound of a children's show and giggling coming from somewhere outside of the picture. 

“Well, you know me; I'll say what I always do. You like answers, Jay. You want to know you're doing it right, but parenting isn't about being right; it's about being there. Nobody thinks they're getting it perfect, and those who try are just chasing after a line that doesn't exist. This feels messy to you because that's the process of becoming a family, and it'll be a work in progress until your dying day. Embrace it, love. And remember; there's no wrong way to be yourself.” Kate said earnestly. 

Jay looked skyward as if pleading for patience. “I know all this, Kate, so why do I keep forgetting and getting all anxious? I know you're right, it just scares me to think that I could have had a hand in causing the poor baby's silence.” 

Katie shook her head, “No, you most assuredly are not responsible for that. If anything, he feels safe enough to let go and regress. If the psychologist thinks the little guy will be alright, then I think you ought to trust him.” 

“Logically it makes sense to me, but I feel so inadequate. I love that kid so much, Kate. If I did anything to hurt him I'd never forgive myself. He seems so peaceful sometimes, he has an innocent curiosity and such raw, honest emotions. Didn't think I could ever feel so protective, but all I want is to take care of him and keep him safe.” Resting his cheek in his palm, Jay adopted a forlorn and distant stare. 

“Honestly Jay, don't beat yourself up. You'll be no use to anyone if you stay up all night feeling guilty for nothing.” 

Jay let out a grumbling sigh, releasing some of the tension he'd unconsciously been building up, when a little voice squeaked through the computer speakers. 

“Mommy, who's that? Is it almost snack time? Can we have muffins for snack?” A young man's freckled face popped into view, framed by a mop of curly strawberry blond hair. His hazel eyes popped wide open, eyebrows jumped up, as he saw who was on the video chat. “Unca Jay! It's me, Dylan. Can you see me?” the boy asked, leaning so close to the camera that all that was visible was one squinting eye. 

“Hi handsome, yes I can see you. How do you like it out there in kangarooland?” inquired Jay with a chuckle. 

“Come on buddy bear, sit back here so Uncle Jay can see us both. Tell him how you like it out here.” Kate prompted. 

“We're 'making new friends.'” the boy began, rolling his eyes and making air quotes. “Mommy's new friend Andy has Maya, who's gotta be my new friend. But Unca Jay, she try trickin' me into eatin' the yuckies' things!” he made a pointed his finger at his throat, making a gagging sound. “She got this stuff made of termites and vegetables and looks like mushy tar like on the street. An' she said 'Oh, Dilly you're gonna love it.' But I told' her it looks like tar and smells funny, cause it did! Then Mommy and Andy say they gonna try some too, and try everythin' once. But Unca Jay, why anyone gonna try eatin' termite tar?” Dylan threw his hands up at this crazy idea. 

Smirking, Jay asked with genuine curiosity, “Sounds like Maya was a nice friend to want to share with you, though. So what happened when you tried it?” 

Dylan shrugged, “Mommy an' Andy put some on toast. Maya had tons and I had only an itty teensy weensy bit. I did not like it, but Mommy made me say somethin' nice, so I said, 'Thankyou Maya, it tastes better than 'chovies.' An' that made Maya happy, so I let her try some my peanut butter.” he said with a proud grin. 

“That was a very good thing to do, I bet you made Mommy proud of you.” 

“Yep, I did cause she let me get ice cream last night!” there was a thoughtful pause. “Unca Jay, I think you got a new baby.” 

“We did buddy, I think you'd like him, but he's a little younger than you. (This was both true of their actual age and their current headspaces.) Next time we talk on the computer maybe Uncle Robby and Kyle can be there too.” suggested Jay warmly. 

“Oh, you can go get 'em now. I'll wait.” said Dylan. 

“Remember not to tell people what to do, buddy.” Kate gently scolded. 

“Sorry, Unca Jay. I meant to say; I bet you want to go get 'em now.” he said, pointing a finger upward at his good idea. 

“I wish I could pal, but it's late here and I'm the only one awake. Maybe next weekend we'll call you when it's breakfast time here, so that it will be just before your bedtime there.” 

“Oh, okay. That baby is lucky to have a good daddy like you and Unca Robby. You a great daddy.” the boy said with grave sincerity. 

Jay wiped away a tear, “Thanks buddy, I'm glad you think so. I gotta go to bed cause it's late, but I'll talk to you and Mommy soon, okay?” When they ended the call Jay stretched, massaging his neck. He checked on Kyle and was happy that he had when he found the baby fast asleep with a very wet diaper. Lowering the crib rails, he set about changing the little guy, who barely stirred when the cold wipes touched his skin. Jay finished, zipped up Kyle's pajamas, and pulled the blankets back up. With a kiss to the forehead, he whispered, “Night baby, sweet dreams, Daddy loves you.” 

Just as Jay was walking back out the door he heard the tired, mumbled reply. “Love you too, Daddy.”


	14. Papa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A morning with Papa Robby.

Jay went through his bedtime routine on autopilot; use toilet, take shower, warm pjs, brush teeth. His throat was scratchy with fatigue and emotion. Looking down at Rob, whose limbs were splayed across the bed, he thought about waking his husband to tell him what had happened. Exhaustion combined with the desire to savor the moment for himself, if just for a few moments, won out and he drifted off, greeting oblivion with a grin. 

The next morning Rob woke to the sound of the alarm and turned toward Jay, who was normally the earlier riser of the pair. If not for the steady rising and falling of his lover's chest, Rob might have thought the man had turned to stone. He turned the alarm off and crept from the room and went to check on Kyle. Seeing the baby stirring, but not yet awake, he turned on the coffee maker and filled a bottle with Kyle's milk, setting it aside in the refrigerator. 

Morning sunlight filtered through the drapes in the nursery and the Rob felt drawn toward the peacefulness of the cozy room. He sat down in the rocking chair with his journal and scribbled some notes. 

Woke up before Kye today. When was the last time that happened?   
I never knew I could be this content. Even our bad days are good   
ones, compared to before. I could sit and stare at that little bundle   
for hours. There's something inspiring about his pure heart that he wears  
on his sleeve; so raw and trusting. I shouldn't admit this, but when he  
clams up around other people, I think to myself, “No, he's not   
impressed by you because you're not one of his daddies.” Isn't that  
awful? What's worse is that I am completely unashamed. I never   
thought I had it in me to be such a family man. It's Jay who's the sap,   
but I guess that's what being entrusted with this little guy's life has  
done to me. 

Kyle opened his eyes, blinking, and saw Papa rocking in the chair. He was still too sleepy to be all the way awake, so he watched Papa rocking and writing. In the haze of dozing, he thought about how big and cool and tough the man was. “Papa....mine...my Papa.” he mumbled. 

Rob's head tipped to the side as he looked over at Kyle. “Good morning sleepyhead. Are you awake?” He stood and pulled down the side of the crib, lifting the boy into his arms. Kyle leaned into him, squeezing with all his might. “What's that all about, baby boy?” he asked. 

“Yuv me?” Kyle responded, speech muffled by the bit of Rob's shirt that he was chewing on. 

“Do I love you?! I love you so much, my special boy.” Rob said, surprised by the question, as he hugged Kyle back. “Now can Papa check your diaper?” 

Kyle made a hum that Rob took as his consent and he went about his task. Finding the boy dry, he took out a pull-up and helped slide it on. Then he let his little boy help pick out clothing. With a dinosaur tee shirt and dark green sweatpants, Kyle was ready for the day. He reached up to Papa who carried him over to his high chair and clipped him in. Rob gave the boy his bottle and poured himself a cup of coffee, scanning through his emails on his phone before putting it face down on the counter. “Will you try eating some oatmeal?” he asked, pulling items out of the pantry. “Let's see, how about some brown sugar, cinnamon, and raisins?” His little boy didn't answer, deep brown eyes followed everything Rob did. It was a quick breakfast to whip up and he started idly thinking out loud while feeding Kyle. “I used to feed my little brother. My mom always thought my big sister should do it...traditional roles and all that nonsense. I liked to cook and Mary liked to play basketball. It drove mama crazy.”

He stopped to wipe Kyle's face and held the bottle up for the boy to drink a bit. “She used to say we were trying to turn the world inside out, like you'd think we were misfits, but that's that's Tennessee for you. Well she was afraid that since I didn't have a daddy I wouldn't grow to be a real man. One day she told me that our neighbor Mr. Benjamin was gonna teach me how to use tools and such.” He took a sip of coffee and a few bites from his oatmeal before returning his attention to feeding his rapt little boy. “I nodded while the man stood in front of the open hood of his car, explaining a repair. I had no idea what he was talking about, but watched him work, trying to stay out of the way. After a while, we took a break for lunch and he apologized that he had nothing to eat because he was a terrible cook. I made him fried fish and onion rings, but you'd have thought I'd just painted the Mona Lisa given the way he reacted. So from then on he told my mama how great I was with tools and I kept his belly full.” 

Kyle cocked his head to the side as if considering Rob in a new light. The older man's cheeks turned pink, “Sorry, I don't know what my point was. I hope you know buddy, we all have something to offer, even if it's not what other people expect it to be. Daddy and I see qualities in you that we lack in ourselves, I hope you know that baby boy.” He kissed the boy on the top of his head and put the bowls in the sink, leaving the half finished bottle on the table. Lifting Kyle into his arms, he settled in the family room, turning on a kids' program to keep him entertained while he was fed. 

It was some time later, after the morning news, a diaper change, and a second cup of coffee, that Rob realized Jay still hadn't stirred. On the rug, Kyle was flipping through a picture book with full page photos of baby animals. “Hey pal, you wanna go wake Daddy?” Rob asked, tickling the little boy from behind. Kyle giggled, crawling rapidly away, until the muscular man scooped him up and threw him over his shoulder. “Oh no you don't, you rascal. No one can escape from the Daddy monster, I'm tossing you into his cave for his breakfast!” 

Jay awoke to a weight landing beside him, followed by shrieks of glee and giggling. He let out a deep chuckle, “Hey, who's jumping in my bed?” he asked with a dramatic scowl. 

Rob pulled a pillow over his head, “Oh great big Daddy monster, I've brought you food. Don't eat me, eat him!”

Kyle copied the action, pulling a blanket over his head so that just his face was visible. Jay made loud sniffs at the air, “Hmm...ahhh...smells like a boy, they all taste like chicken.” he grumbled. 

“Oh, no this one tastes terrible, he tastes horrible, you'll love him!” Rob assured him, “Take a bite and you'll see.”

Kyle squealed, “Chocky! Chocky!” 

“Eeew, does he taste like chocolate? I hate chocolate!” Jay growled, baring his teeth and mussing up his hair. 

“No, I swear! He tastes like livers and onions and old people's feet!” called Rob. 

“Chocky! Chocky!” assured Kyle, grinning ear to ear. 

“Harrrrumph. Well, have you got any coffee? That tastes almost as bad as feet, and I do so hate chocolate.” Jay batted his eyelashes, resting chin on fist with an impish grin. 

“Oh alright, but only cause we love you, right Kye?” Rob said, pulling the boy into an embrace. 

Kyle nodded, adding in an enthusiastic, “Harrumph!”


	15. Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They visit the lawyer and learn some people will be more understanding than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the great comments, feedback, and kudos!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, but I had to work out some plot details and do some research in order to be sure of where I was going. You really can't have a lawyer start giving advice without knowing where you want to navigate in the story. The upside is that I've done plenty of plotting :)

“Kye! Cmon buddy, we're already late.” said Rob, with growing frustration. The boy was wearing a medium blue button down shirt, dark gray tie, and dark gray slacks. Jay and Rob were similarly outfitted in business casual attire. The two older men were locked in a battle of wills with the little boy who was normally quite compliant. It had taken half an hour to get his clothes on, then in the bathroom he'd wiped his soapy hands on his dress shirt and had to have it changed, and now he was refusing to walk from the car into the lawyer's office. They'd been hesitant to bring him along, but the lawyer had insisted that he meet Kyle at least for the initial meeting. 

“He's gonna find out about our situation in a minute anyway.” Jay shrugged and lifted the boy into his arms while Rob grabbed their baby bag and shut the car doors. “It's gonna be fine, kiddo. Remember what we told you...this is our lawyer and he's on our side.” said Jay as Rob opened the entrance doors to the office building. 

Inside was a Lobby with a vending machine, a couple of soft looking leather couches, and assorted potted plants. Hanging on the wall across from the elevators was an office directory. Rob ran his finger down the list, “...Liten..6B. Got it Jay, off we go.” 

Stepping into the elevator on the ground floor, they were glad to see that they were alone given how distraught their little boy had been. The calm that fell over them now felt frighteningly tentative. Jay held his breath as they passed the first floor, but then grit his teeth and tensed his jaw when the doors opened at the second floor. A large, approximately middle aged man climbed in, his abundant girth requiring the family of three to shift away from the sliding door. He leaned against the back wall and asked if someone might press number 5 for him, then did a double take when he saw Kyle in Jay's arms. 

“Going up for a visit to the dentist. Cavities. You know how it is...they gave me this mouthwash but it tastes horrid so I never used it. Going to 5 then?” the man chatted amiably. 

Rob piped in, trying to save Jay and Kyle from the awkward business of revealing their lifestyle to this stranger, which would likely be the outcome if Kyle was jarred from his temporary calm. “Yep” he replied with one quick nod. 

“Ahh, got your son with ya then?” the man grinned, revealing several crooked teeth. 

“Uh huh.” Rob hoped that his smile didn't look as tight and forced as it felt. 

“Well lucky he's not seein' the dentist! If they ever give him mouthwash, you should make him use it, even if it tastes of mint and cherry.” he advised solemnly. The elevator chimed, allowing the large man to make his exit with a backward call, “Have a good one!” 

The three men reached their floor and looked down the carpeted hall, following the sign which brought them into a tastefully decorated lavender and dark brown office. Jay sat down with Kyle still in his arms while he tried to catch snippets of Rob's conversation with the receptionist.

“Yes...well no, I'm not him, but this is his ID card. He's right here...uhh, the thing is, he umm...doesn't really talk anymore.” 

“Can you just have him come to the window?” said the young woman with disdain loud enough for Jay to hear clearly. 

“Not unless you want him to start screaming and crying.” hissed Rob. 

There was a dramatic feminine sigh, “Suit yourselves, I'll let Ms. Liten know and she can deal with it.” 

“Thank you.” was Rob's pointed reply, in a voice that one uses when they are not at all thankful and rather consider the other person to be a nuisance. He came and sat next to Jay and Kyle, “At least the chairs are comfortable.” 

As it turned out, they needn't have worried about arriving late since Ms. Liten (“please, call me Hilda”) was nearly a half hour late. Luckily, Kyle had worn himself out from putting up a fight earlier and had dozed in Jay's arms for a while. The lawyer turned out to be a youngish, though very tall, platinum blonde woman, dressed in an attractive skirt suit, and much more amiable than her uppity receptionist. She offered them drinks, apologized for the delay, and led them to her office. Rob and Jay sat in chairs on either side of Kyle, who looked as if he were sitting before judge and jury. 

“So, first things first...Kyle received a summons saying that he may be called to testify, correct?” she began. 

“Yes, we brought it with us.” Rob reached into the baby bag and grabbed a folder, knocking free a pull-up in the process. He slid it back in, turning red in the process, but if the lawyer noticed she didn't say anything. 

She took the paper, put on her reading glasses, and scanned the document. “Right then, did you witness the event in question, Kyle?” 

The boy looked up as if surprised to hear himself being spoken to directly. Then he looked to Rob, who smiled encouragingly, and to Jay, who did the same. He stared at the woman for a moment, then climbed down from his seat and into Rob's lap, which was when Jay spoke up, “I don't think he'll speak to you. It's not personal, he hasn't been talking much lately, even at home. But uh...” he leaned forward, lowering his voice, “the defendant has harmed Kyle in that way.” 

“Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. In that case, would he be willing to see a therapist? If there is a medical reason that he cannot testify, then we'll need documentation. Also, do you intend to become his guardians; to have power of attorney and become his healthy proxy?” 

Rob and Jay exchanged a wide eyed look, “Oh, well we hadn't really considered...” Jay began. 

“It's not something we've discussed, to be honest.” Rob admitted. 

“That's not a problem, I'll send you home with some literature on the topic and paperwork to look over. Do you have any questions for me?” 

“Yes, what will happen if he does have to testify?” Rob asked. 

“If he were able to verbally communicate, then in that case, we may be able to arrange for him to provide live testimony via one way video. Basically, that would be allowed on the basis that he would be incapable of answering questions in the presence of the defendant. You would need to provide evidence that he would likely go mute on the stand. I'll do some looking into things on my end and you folks review that paperwork, then we'll touch base in a couple of weeks.” she concluded, rising to shake their hands. 

Jay took Kyle's hand to lead him out, nodding his thanks to the lawyer. He watched her bend down to Kyle's level. “Thank you for coming, Kyle.” she said with a smile. The boy blushed, and nearly grinned before turning to bury his face against Jay's side.


	16. A Bad Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kye isn't feeling too well and it leads to an unexpected outcome. His daddies are awesome, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, I had to take a class this weekend, and then have been stacking wood (the only way we heat our house, which is on top of a mountain) in preparation for bad weather. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

It was not long into their ride home when Kyle began whining and kicking the back of the Jay's seat. Even when their little boy wasn't speaking, he knew how to make a point, and right now he sounded desperate for something. “Baby boy, it is not good to kick your Daddy's seat, it makes it too difficult for him to drive! We'll switch you to the other side of the car in fact.” he reprimanded, pulling over to the side of the road. “Hun, would you mind seeing what he needs?” he asked Rob, “I'm gonna look for some Tylenol, I'm getting a headache.” 

The little boy began to cry, startled and worried by Jay's reaction. He did not want Daddy to be mad at him, but he really didn't feel good. His belly clenched in pain and he wanted to say something, but opening his mouth felt like a very bad idea. He tried to unsnap his seat belt but couldn't twist around far enough. The panic was making the feeling worse, his body felt too hot and his stomach was burning. 

“What is it Kye, do you need to go potty?” Rob tried. 

Kyle shook his head, growing more frantic as the movement brought on unrelenting nausea. He held his lips tight, covered his mouth with one hand, and tried to wave Papa out of the way with his free arm. Realization dawning, Rob unlocked Kyle's seat belt while ordering Jay to, “Disable the child lock right now, please,” in the deceptively calm and polite voice that is exclusive to tense, unpleasant moments. The little guy's body instantly reacted to the click of the disengaging lock, he threw open the door and leaned his head outside just in time to only partially get sick on the floor of the car.

Rob rubbed his hand over the boy's back in small circles, watching the poor kid heave uncontrollably, gasping and moaning with every split second of a respite he could catch before his stomach was assaulted anew. He felt like he was choking, he couldn't breathe, and he only had time to cry out, “Help me!” before losing control again. When the deluge finally slowed, Rob cleaned up his poor little boy as much as he could and switched places with Jay. Kyle leaned against his Daddy, while Papa drove home as carefully slow and steady as he could. 

\- - 

When they all arrived home, Rob his suffering partner to go inside and lay down. Then he helped Kyle out of the car and slowly walked him inside. It was a good thing too, because Kyle did not think he could handle being carried, he felt seasick just thinking about it. Following Papa into the bathroom, he let the older man take care of everything. His messy, sweaty clothes were taken off, and his pull-up was exchanged for a diaper. 

“There, there buddy, Papa's gonna take care of everything.” said Rob, as he wet a cool washcloth and wiped Kyle's face, neck, and chest. He poured an even mix of mouthwash and water into a small cup and let the little boy rinse out his mouth. An ear thermometer showed that he had a slight fever, and Rob made a note to get Jay's temperature also, strongly suspecting that he might be coming down with whatever was ailing their boy. He brought Kyle to the nursery and put him in the crib with the railing lowered, promising that he would be back in a few minutes after checking on Jay. 

Kyle did not wait for Papa to return, he didn't remember taking medicine, having a cold cloth put on his forehead, or hearing Papa sing him lullabies. The last thing that he remembered before waking some time later, was a terrible dream in which he was choking, except in the dream it was not illness, but something much worse, that was blocking his throat. That was how, in the midst of a feverish fog, the past came flooding back.

**  
“Papaaaaa!!!” Kyle screamed like a kid possessed. “Papaaaaaa!!” he screamed like he was dying.   
Rob came running in, disregarding the pain t  
hat shot through his shoulder as it rammed against the door frame. Jay was right behind him, unable to sleep through what sounded like a primordial scream. Kyle was sitting in upright, clutching his turtle and rocking slowly with wide open, glazed eyes. 

Rob reached out, clutching the boy and kissing his head. Jay looked down and saw that Kyle had been sick to his stomach again. He motioned to Rob, mouthing 'our bedroom,' and on getting a nod in return, walked ahead of them, clearing the crumpled comforter to allow the others a quick place to sit. 

“It's okay honey, we're right here. It's just Daddy and Papa and nobody else but you. Are you in pain? Where does it hurt baby boy?” the words rushed out of Jay's mouth. 

Still in the tight grip of Papa's arms, Kyle covered his eyes and moaned, “Noo, noo..I 'member.” He let out a wailing keen, “Daddyyyy! I 'member, I don't wanna 'member. Make it go away!” He felt a soft finger tenderly run down his cheek, catching his hot tears. “Oh my poor baby, let's think about something else.” coaxed Jay. “No, I can feel it, I can feel i-i-iiit.” he wailed. 

Jay thought for a moment, then stood up and looked around, “I have an idea, be back in a sec.” he said, rushing out of the room. His heart hurt listening to the sounds of the ongoing scene. Grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer, he quickly wrapped it in a thin towel and brought it in to Kyle. Ignoring the hissed, “He's not hurt, you know.” from Rob, he sat close to their boy. He carefully grasped the small wrist, “Shh, it's just Daddy, I promise I won't do anything that'll hurt you. Will you let me hold your hand little guy?” Kyle moaned, but stopped resisting his Daddy's strong grasp. “That's my brave boy.” he said, stroking the back of the small hand with his thumb. Since Kyle's eyes were still closed, he lightly guided the boy's hand to the ice pack. “I've got a little ice for your throat, okay?” he asked, before gently pressing it against the boy. 

Kyle's first instinct was to jerk away from the shocking cold, instead he opened his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Not choking.” he said in a daze. He felt his muscles relax just slightly as he slumped in Rob's arms, his head resting in the crook of Jay's arm. “Thank you for magic Daddy, and thanks for cuddles Papa.” 

“Ohh, you special boy, I wish I were magic.” Jay whispered in bittersweet amusement. “When we have a really scary memory, sometimes it feels too real, and we can't get it to go away. Daddy just helped you feel something that was stronger than the memory. The feelings fight and the one that's happening right now, that's the one that's winning.” 

“Oh,” the boy sighed, starting to calm, “well, thank you for winning Daddy.” 

Jay made a halfhearted chuckle, saying “You're welcome baby boy.” He was looking up at Rob though, face painted with concern, they would call the psychologist at their first opportunity.


	17. Concerns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and Rob grow concerned over the mounting evidence that the stress is getting to Kyle

Jay rhythmically sucked in the cool fall air, letting his thoughts wash over his busy mind. He'd felt guilty for taking off on his own, but that feeling was soon followed by the clarity and freedom that he could only find among the wooded paths he favored. The problem was that their little boy really needed to see a doctor who would be competent and non-judgmental, but neither he nor Rob knew who to turn to. At the moment he was drawing a blank, and neither Kate nor Kyle's psychologist had any recommendations. These practicalities were usually Rob's forte, but Jay's larger, more eclectic social circle would more likely provide the solution in this instance. He rounded the last corner and followed a footpath to the opening in their backyard fence, thinking that the exercise had at least improved his mood. 

Rob turned at the click of the back door opening. With Kyle napping soundly in his arms, the older man was stuck in a semi-reclined position on the couch. He smiled as his lover walked inside, gratuitously taking in an eyeful of the flushed, sweaty, very well-defined body, that he was intimately familiar with.

“What's that look for?” Jay whispered, quirking an eyebrow.

“It's for the sexy man who just appeared in the doorway.” Rob waggled his eyebrows. 

Jay walked over and pecked Rob on the forehead. “ I'm gonna grab a quick shower, how's the little guy doin'?”

“He's good now. We had a bit of a battle over being changed, which...” he glanced down, feeling Kyle stirring, “is unusual... You know what; go take your shower hon, I'll tell you about it later.” 

“Hmm...okay, be back in a few.” Jay nodded, striding off down the hall. A few minutes later, relaxing under the spray of hot water, he was struck with a memory of an old buddy who he met volunteering at the Rose Street Haven. A tall guy with shoulder length braided hair, he had been applying to med schools and wanted to become a pediatrician. Jay remembered the man as someone who was a natural with the kids who came to the domestic violence shelter with their mothers. If the guy had in fact become a doctor, and if he could get in touch somehow, maybe he'd be able to help. It was a long shot, but worth a try. Feeling energized by the idea, he rushed through motions of washing up, threw on some lounge clothes, and filled a tall glass of water before padding over to sit by Rob. 

Kyle was awoken by the weight of his Daddy plopping down on the couch. He whimpered, rubbing his eyes, and curling up into ball with his head buried between Papa's side and the couch cushions. No one forced him to move and soon he was drifting off again. 

Jay snatched his phone, scrolling through his email history from several years prior until he found the one that he was looking for:

>   
>  To: Jaybird3
> 
> From: Leon_K1ng
> 
> Subject: Bar Night
> 
> Jay, 
> 
> It's kinda messed up that my girl dumps me and you invite me to a gay bar. Is this how I get recruited by the other side? Damn, my jokes are so lame since my heart was torn to shreds by that cheating witch. Hey, at least wherever we go I won't be tempted to rebound with a drunk girl. You can bore me with more stories of how happy you are with Rob. Meet you by the coffee shop at 8 tomorrow night. 
> 
> Peace, 
> 
> Leon

Jay beamed an excited grin at Rob. “I think I've got it an idea! Remember my friend from Rose Street; Leon? Well he loved helping kids, he's really cool and he was always open minded. I think he ended up going to med school, and had planned on going into pediatrics. What would you think if we just ran this whole thing by him?”

Rob looked down at the sleeping form on his chest. He slowly disentangled himself, eliciting another moan, though little motion, from Kyle. Crooking a finger to indicate that his partner should follow, Rob moved over to the dining table. Jay took a chair beside him, waiting intently. 

“I'm concerned, Jay. Kye pitched a royal fit when I tried to change him. He struggled and kicked, and kept saying 'no change, no change.' So said okay and asked if he wanted to change himself. He said no again. Then I said he could go on the potty if he wanted and asked if he would try that. The kid screeched into his pillow and yanked on his own hair. I had to stop him at that point, he had me so worried. He finally let me clean him, but was just nearly hyperventilating the whole time.”

“Shit Rob, that's not good. Listen, let's give the heads up to Dr. Anderson. We're gonna see him tomorrow anyway. Maybe we can have him sort of give some pointers to Leon too, or whoever we find to be Kye's physician.” 

Rob reached out and put his hand on top of Jay's. “Of course babe. Why don't you reach out to your friend and see what he says. I'll get in touch with Dr. Anderson. Then I've thought of a way that we can wear our little guy out for the rest of the afternoon.” 

Jay bit his lip, “What's that? The kid's been a limp little noodle for the past couple days. Outside of tantrums, that is.” 

“A treasure hunt. He's crazy about that pirate movie, and my friend's parents used to do these cool, crafty ones to keep us occupied when we were stir crazy. It'll be a good distraction for us all.”

"Agreed. Since he's talking a bit more, let's see if we can give him a reason to use those words for something positive and burn off a little steam in the process."


	18. Arrgh!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's scarier than bad dreams? Why little Kyle as a fearsome pirate captain, of course! Because everyone needs a way to feel strong and special : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: blocks of _italics_ always indicate dreams. 
> 
> Thank you to all the awesome encouraging readers and commenters and kudos givers and even the lurkers! 
> 
> I have so so much of the story plotted out, which is exciting for me. My hope/goal is that this story will be over 50,000 words eventually.

_“Papa, Daddy, where are we going?” Kyle asked while his daddies bundled him up into a snow-suit that felt too tight, like trying to get into those orange arm floaties soaking wet. He waited for an answer until it was clear that none was coming. “Are you mad at me?” his voice gained in pitch, taking on a hint of desperation._

_“No Kyle.” Jay sighed, “Rob and Jay are busy, why don't you help by taking care of some things for us?” he suggested with a businesslike coldness._

_“Umm..uh...uh...” Kyle tried to hold back tears. “Okay, whatever you guys want.” he stared at his shoes, growing uncomfortably hot in his winter clothes._

_Rob thrust out a road atlas with several pages bookmarked, each containing a highlighted route. “Start with these people, they'll be expecting you. It'll take a while, so you might want to stop somewhere to get yourself dinner, we'll probably be in bed by the time you get back.”_

_Kyle turned and ran out of the door and hopped into a beat up van that they'd rented for him. He was too numb to think and just started driving while watching the map, until he suddenly realized that he hadn't looked up at the road in too long and saw that was speeding down busy streets but couldn't remember how to drive. Nothing on the car worked, the steering wheel moved but the tires weren't turning, the break pedal was just as ineffective, and just then he looked up to see that he was about to crash through the gateway at the naval base._

The little boy woke in a daze, willing himself back into reality. His dream felt too real, and although he was shaken, he remained still, clenching his fists and jaw, determined not to draw any attention to himself. The only sound in the room was of the steady ticking of the tall clock in the corner. “It's not true, it wasn't real, they aren't getting rid of me, it's not real, they love me, they said they love me, it's not real, I'm okay, I'm okay, don't cry, I'm fine, don't cry, it's okay...” he silently chanted, which only served in making himself more distressed, until he finally let out an involuntary keening, curling up into the fetal position. 

Jay heard the cry and ran over, kneeling beside Kyle and stroking the little guy's soft hair. “Oh baby boy, it's okay, Daddy's here.”

Emotions bubbling over at the display of caring, the boy began bawling. “Pease, pease, no leavin' no leavin'! I good, I be good, I be a g-g-good boy.” he sobbed. 

“Of course you're good, and this is our house, I'm not leaving my own home, crazy boy.” he cooed. 

“No...not make me go. Bye bye Kye! No more me...go away...Papa, Daddy too tywood.” 

“Baby, I don't know what you mean, but you know we would never make you go away. We love you, nothing's gonna change that.” he wiped at the boy's tears, lifting him into his arms and pacing around the room in an attempt to soothe his poor little Kye. 

Rob was in the downstairs office and was alerted to the situation by the steady creaking of footsteps above his head. Clicking off the music that he accompanied his absorbing creative project, he went upstairs to check out what was going on. That was how he came upon his pacing partner rocking and rubbing the back of their sobbing, hiccuping little boy. “What happened, did someone get hurt?” 

Jay interrupted his shushing and cooing to turn half his attention to Rob. “Nightmare, I think. He woke up thinking that we were going to make him leave, or we were leaving him...? It wasn't clear.” 

Hearing the conversation, Kyle clutched fistfuls of Jay's sweatshirt. “Mind if I hold him for a minute?” he heard Papa ask. A moment later he was semi-reluctantly passed into the other man's arms. 

“Pa-aa-pa-aa-aa, no no make me go!” he clung to the older man, willing himself to stay there forever. 

“Shh, it's okay. You can't go away, we'd be too sad without you. Plus Daddy would drive Papa crazy if you weren't here and he didn't have you to play with. And Papa would be too lonely without his buddy to take a nap with or read to,” Rob assured him. 

“Pomise times forevuh and evuh?” Kyle whispered cautiously.

“Yes, promise promise, and so does Daddy. Okay?” 

It took another half hour before Kyle was calmed sufficiently enough to tolerate sitting down on his own. Even then, he only drank some cold juice, followed by water, when he was being bottle fed. He didn't want to eat, but agreed when he was promised something special for doing so. After half of a banana and a small piece of toast with jam, he climbed into Jay's arms and was carried to the nursery while Rob disappeared back downstairs with a wink, smile, and peck on the cheek. 

“Baby, you need a new pull-up. Is it okay if Daddy changes you?” Jay asked. 

Kyle nodded, holding out his arms, “Tuttee pease?” 

“Sure thing.” said the older man, retrieving the stuffed toy/ comfort object from the crib. Noticing the pacifier next tot he toy, he snatched it too, “Want your binky too?” When Kyle nodded, opening and closing his mouth like a baby bird calling for its meal, Jay chuckled and popped in the pacifier. 

\- - 

The young little guy toddled into the living room sporting a shirt with bold blue and white stripes and a blue pull-up, a pacifier rapidly moving back and forth between his lips. Although the boy's face was still splotchy from his intense bout of crying, he appeared in much brighter spirits. He stopped short when he saw what Rob had accomplished while he was being changed. 

Papa was wearing a bandanna on his head and had an eye patch on, along with dark pants and a white long sleeved shirt. He stood over a treasure chest, looking taken by surprise. “Arrgh, thar be just the feller I twas lookin' fer!” 

Daddy put an arm around Kyle's shoulder, “Ahh, an' who might be lookin' fer this fine and fearsome captain, then?” Kyle couldn't stop from breaking out in a bout of giggles. 

“Ahh, a fair question indeed. My apologies, your captainliness. They call me 'no beard' on account of my havin' none...er...beard, as it was.” said Papa, waggling his eyebrows. 

Daddy turned to Kyle, “Well what say ye, Captain Kyle, would ye have me throw the man o'er board?” 

Papa held his hands up, feigning panic. “Prithee, hear me plan first! Why, tis a map leadin' to treasure I've found. As poor a bloke as me shall surely perish in this venture but mayhaps the good captain and his fine companion would accompany me?”

“Hmm, tis all well and good fer you, but pray tell us what shall be the captain's reward?” said Daddy, hands rising to his hips. 

“Err, all shall be his to keep, if only he might share some....” Papa's voice grew soft and he batted his eyes, “cuddles...would be nice.”

Kyle mimicked Daddy's stance and nodded, voicing an emphatic, “Arrgghhh!” causing his binky to fall on the floor. 

Papa motioned for the others to come closer to him. Inside of the treasure chest, which was made of well decorated cardboard, was a telescope (two cardboard tubes fitted together), and a hand drawn map. They romped around for quite some time, following clues to look for more clues and maps. Kyle had collected several chocolate coins before coming to the big treasure. Under the sink was big roasting pot, and under the lid of the pot was a box, and inside that box was a very soft, stuffed baby monkey. The monkey was wearing a little diaper, and it had a tiny plastic banana and an itty bitty bottle. “Hi monkey baby.” the adorable little pirate introduced himself, then looked up at his daddies, “For me?” 

“Ahh, well this is a treasure hunt and you found it, so it's yours, that's the pirate code.” said Papa. 

“What will you name him?” asked Daddy. 

“Oh!” Kyle looked surprised, but quickly recovered, “Is Arrrgh! Kisses for Arrrgh, mwuah!” Maybe his daddies didn't know it, cause they were silly daddies, but this made him feel very special. He was big and strong and he was the captain. He found the treasure and maybe Papa helped, and maybe, okay...he did have a messy diaper, but he was still a pirate and pirates were scary, even ones who needed diaper changes and bottles.


	19. Leon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visit to the therapist, and then an unexpected (by Kyle) visit from an old friend of Daddy's. Fluffy and cutesy galore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little longer to update, but the chapter's a little longer too :) 
> 
> Ugghh, I had more to write but I have a tummy ache, so please everyone, send me and Kye and Jay and Rob some LOVE! :-)

“Kyle? Jay and Rob? Come on in guys.” Dr. Anderson greeted them in the waiting room the next day. 

The little boy took hold of Rob's hand and followed him into the office and Jay shut the door behind them. “So, I know you've had some ups and downs this week. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about, Kyle?” the therapist asked. 

Kyle grabbed for the music mat again, this time setting it on the floor and tapping it with his feet while remaining snugly positioned in between his daddies on the couch. He shrugged, tapping out a rhythm. “Lots I don' wanna talk 'bout.” he mumbled. 

“Good job, I'm glad that you can tell me that. Do you have an idea of why you don't want to talk about all those things?” Dr. Anderson asked gently. 

Kyle froze up, his body grew painfully tight, like he was being squeezed by a great big snake. He slammed his feet against the tabs, purposely creating a dissonant cacophony. “No good...no no no good!! Feels bad an' hurts an' scares tuttee an' an' an'...” he started to cry, angrily swiping the treacherous tears from his eyes. 

“He's our stuffed turtle friend who goes just about everywhere with us.” explained Jay.

Rob hugged his little boy, pulling him up onto his lap and rocking slowly, shushing and whispering reassurances. The older man felt the telltale tensing of the boy's thighs, and irritated shifting that accompanied a pull-up made wet from a nervous accident. There was something markedly different with these losses of control, not like the calm, carefree incontinence of a baby boy. No, these were sudden, often painful looking moments that were best dealt with as quickly and comfortably as possible. “Excuse us for just a moment, bathroom break.” he said, lifting boy and baby bag all in one practiced motion. 

Papa set Kyle on his feet in the bathroom, locking the door behind them. Kye felt like a puzzle with its pieces being all jumbled up, mewling and hugging himself tight while Papa pulled out their supplies. “Here we go now, you'll be okay. Just a quick change.” The older man said, removing and discarding the wet pull-up. “Do you need to sit on the potty?” he asked.

Kyle shook his head, making a squeaky noise that Rob took as an adamant objection. “Okay bud, let's get cleaned up, nice and cozy dry, yeah?” When the boy made no response, Rob continued, “Then we can go back in and...” He was cut off by the beginnings of what might have looked to the untrained eye like a tantrum, as young man stomped his feet, slamming them against the ground. He swung his arms around, unintentionally rapping his knuckles on the tiled wall. 

“Owwwiiieee!!” he shrieked, angrily chastising his knuckles for hurting. Twisting around to see what he'd hit, presumably to blame the object for existing in the first place, he nearly tripped over his pants. Papa reached out and caught Kyle by his elbows, pulling him upright and likely preventing a nasty bump to the head. He steadied the boy, then took hold of the small chin, lifting the reddened face upward. 

“Look at Papa, my good boy. We can do nothing but sing songs or play games, if that's what you want. You don't have to say a word if you don't want to. We can tell the doctor not to bring up anything else at all. You can even make him sing to you, if you'd like. Remember, _you're in control_ , we have to do whatever _you_ say in there, okay? You're safe, my brave boy, and Papa and Daddy are right here with you.” Kyle listened, shedding silent tears, which Papa softly wiped away before squeezing the little guy in a great big bear hug. He wiped the little boy and applied some skin cream, then pulled on a dry pull-up, snapped shut the junior sized pants, and washed the small hands in sink. 

After Papa was done washing his own hands, Kyle held out his wet paws to be wiped dry, and waited to be lifted into the big, solid arms of the nurturing older man. They reentered the office, where Jay held out his arms to receive his little boy. He was rewarded by a small, warm body leaning against his chest. 

“I was just talking with your Daddy...” the doctor began, but changed tact when the boy tensed. “Favorite songs, we were sharing, and Daddy said he liked 'If you're happy and you know it,' and I said sometimes if I'm not really all that happy, then I like to sing, 'If you're silly and you know it.' Ever heard of that one?” Kyle shook his head, thumb already firmly in mouth. “Right, so we think of silly things to do, like say...pinch your nose! And we sing the song and do some silly things. Want to try?” 

The little guy turned and hid his face in the crook of Jay's shoulder. He listened as the doctor and his daddies sang the first verse. When it was time to shout out the silly thing, Papa decided to wiggle his ears. Kyle refused to look up, though he heard the others having way too much fun to be real. Then Daddy blew a raspberry on Kyle's neck when it was his turn to shout out an idea and the boy couldn't help but squeal and giggle. Reluctant to come out of hiding, he blew raspberries back on Daddy's neck as the others sang. A couple verses later, Kyle finally looked up and puffed out his cheeks, then slapped them with palms, letting out a silly noise. This time he didn't even try to hold back his giggles when he saw that the doctor was doing it too. 

The rest of the session was thankfully low key. The time passed well enough, with Kyle only suffering an occasional pang when he was reminded of how the floodgates had very nearly opened. 

\- - 

Just when the little guy thought he could have a day with no worries; something simple and carefree, he was thrown a big curveball that sent him reeling. “... so it'll be easy, and I'm sure you'll like him.” Jay finished explaining, unaware that Kyle had already tuned him out. Sensing that his Daddy had stopped talking, Kyle nodded absently and went back to building a city out of oversized toy bricks. 

Had he been paying his Daddy full attention, the little boy might not have been so shocked by the tall, dark man with the long braids standing at the front door. “Hi, I'm Leon,” said the man, extending his hand, “and you must be Kyle?” If the man was expecting a returned greeting, then he was left hanging, because Kyle was already making a hasty retreat. 

After his third step backward, the wary boy bumped into the familiar muscled chest which belonged to Jay. A hand landed on each of his shoulders, pushing the poor kid forward once again. “Hey Leon! Man I'm glad you could make it. I see you've met the little man.” Daddy reached over Kyle, leaning forward to reciprocate his old friend's warm embrace. A nervous little “eep!” came from somewhere in between them. The older men jumped back a bit, chuckling. 

The stranger, who was taller even than Daddy, bent down on one knee. “Let's start over, hmm? I heard you liked bubble gum pops, and I have a red, a blue, and a purple one here.” He held the lollipops out with a flourish, “Would you like one?” 

For a moment, Kyle stared at the pops, then in slow motion he reached his little hand out and picked the blue one. “Ra' berry?” he asked, eyebrows raised as if to indicate that he was still suspicious enough to believe that the man might trick him into trying a lolly drenched in vinegar. 

“Mhmm, blue raspberry, that's a good choice.” Leon replied, freeing Kyle's reservations sufficiently for the boy to snatch the pop and secure it his back pocket. Then he crossed his arms, making his best effort at an intimidating glare, completely unaware of how adorable it looked. “An you Daddy friend?” 

“Yeah, we were friends a long time ago, when we had just finished college.” Leon kept a straight face, nodding. 

“Kyle...” Daddy said in his warning voice, “It's cold outside and you're keeping our guest kneeling in the doorway, it's time to let him in now.” 

Leon held up a finger toward Jay to request a moment, “No, don't worry man...this is important, and he has every right to ask.” He turned his attention back to the boy. “Go ahead, I can see that question still on your face.” 

Kyle leaned forward, hands sliding to his hips, looking the man over, “An you a real friend, or a kinda kind like a law...a law-law who gonna talk abou bad stuff? A'cause we don' needa nonna dat!” It was at that point that a hand snatched the back of the boy's shirt and tugged him backward, and lifted him into a bridal carry. “Okay tough guy, that's enough now, he's not a lawyer, he is a doctor, and he won't do anything to you unless you let him and he won't be asking any bad questions, or touching any icky places, okay.” Jay said in a comforting yet no nonsense tone. Kyle curled in against Daddy's chest, shying away, grumbling. 

“We'll take that as a yes. Come on in, he's fine, believe it or not, that was him being welcoming. I've never seen him talk that much to a new person before, even if he was a bundle of sass.” Jay smiled warmly. 

“Don't sweat it man, I get stuff like that every day and it's always the one's with the good parents who are willing to stand up for themselves.” 

“And you remember this guy.” Jay nodded toward Rob, who stepped over to shake Leon's hand. 

“Course, good to see you again. Thanks for having me over.” he shook Rob's outstretched hand in both of his.


	20. A little help from Uncle Leon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An eventful visit with Uncle Leon, a rude awakening looms in the future for Rob and Jay.

Kyle giggled, trying to break free from his Daddy's grasp. “Papa, save me! Daddy gonna eat me!” 

“Well tell Daddy not to spoil his appetite before dinner.” Rob deadpanned. 

“Paapaaa! Comeee oooon!” the squirming little guy squeaked. 

Rob snuck behind Jay, holding a finger to his mouth to silence his boy. He popped up behind Jay and made a guttural growl. Kyle shrieked as Daddy pretended to drop him before placing him gently on the ground. “Okay, you guys win this time. Uncle Leon is gonna think we're all crazy.” 

“Oh, Uncle Leon knows you're all crazy, that's why he doesn't mind visiting. The chronically sane can be such a dull bunch.” Leon said, popping the top off the cold beer that Rob handed him. 

The three men settled down around the couches while Rob's roast finished cooking in the oven. Kyle lent half an ear to the conversation above him while he played with his flashy, noisy firetruck. He was in the middle of rescuing a Power Ranger from a building flooded with lava when he realized his name was being called. Daddy and Uncle Leon were already setting the dining table and judging by his intonation, Papa had been trying to get Kyle's attention for a while. The little guy craned his neck back to look up at Rob, “Not hung'y Papa.” 

“Buddy, it's dinner time and you've got to put something in your little belly. Do you need to go potty first?” asked Papa, but Kyle shook his head no. “No you don't want to eat, or no you don't need to go potty?” 

“No, no?” Kyle hedged. 

“Come on, we've got to wash our hands anyhow.” Papa prompted, taking Kyle's hand to lead the way to the bathroom. He unbuttoned the boy's pants and checked his pull-up. “Oh buddy, you needed to be changed, why didn't you tell your daddies?” he asked. 

Kyle shrugged, toeing the floor guiltily, “Unca 'eon think I a baby, an' not yike me.” 

“Oh sweetie, Uncle Leon likes you a lot. Trust me, Daddy told him all about you and he couldn't wait to meet you.” Rob laid out the changing mat and set Kyle down on it. After wiping the little boy clean, he rubbed in some diaper cream and sprinkled on baby powder before pulling on a fresh pull-up. “Let's wash our hands and try to eat a little something, alright?” 

Nodding, Kyle looked up in the mirror, meeting Rob's eyes. “You a good Papa.” he said, seriously. 

“And you're a good Kyle.” Rob smiled back adoringly. 

Daddy and Uncle Leon were settled at the table, waiting for the others to join them. Papa helped Kyle climb up into his chair and took the seat beside him, fastening a bib around his neck which featured a picture of cookie monster spilling crumbs everywhere. Rob invited Leon to carve the roast, serving up nice meaty portions for the three of them and a smaller one (which was still much larger than usual) for Kyle. Next came mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, green beans, and roasted beets. Everyone dug in, making satisfied noises, mmms, mmhmms, of approval. Papa had cut up Kyle's food into tiny pieces and was letting him eat with his fingers, except for the mashed, which had a tiny spoon set beside it. By the time that the older men had eaten about half of their food, the little boy had taken the approximate equivalent of one full bite of meat, one tiny piece of green bean, and had licked at a small piece of brightly colored beet. 

Jay looked knowingly at Leon, “This is about how it usually goes.” he said, tactfully inviting his friend to throw in his two cents. 

“And then what happens? Try again later...eat something else, or...? asked Leon. 

“Yeah, umm, a chocolate or vanilla shake that we mix a lot into, sometimes peanut butter, or bananas, strawberry, whatever he'll drink.” Rob shrugged. 

“Okay, well would you indulge me in a suggestion?” Leon asked as passively as possible, having lots of experience with caring parents who could easily interpret advice as criticism of their ability as parents. These were clearly wonderful Dads, with a great kid, who just needed a little bit of help with fussy eating. He waited for dual nods of approval before continuing, “Go ahead and make that shake now, whatever way Kyle wants, then he can have a sip for every three big bites of food he eats.” He turned to Kyle, “Will you give it a try, kiddo?” 

Kyle had been trying to block out the whole annoying conversation milling around him. Now he had to admit he'd heard enough to find it distasteful, but the thought of getting a shake now _was_ a little tempting. He nibbled on the tip of his index finger thoughtfully, then looked up at his daddies. Uggh, they were all smiles and nods and subtly raised eyebrows, faces full of hope. “Chocky an'... nana...no, no,..um, chocky an' pee'bu'err, an' berry.” His smile was spreading up toward his ears. 

“Okay, we'll give it a try big guy.” Jay said, setting out for the ingredients. He returned with the drink in a bottle and offered Kyle a taste, waiting for the boy's approval before feeding him a bite of meat and potatoes. To say the boy was hesitant would have been a serious understatement, yet he did make an effort to chew and swallow what he was given. It was worth it when he was rewarded with another sip from his bottle. This continued until he ate slightly more than half of his food; a major accomplishment, especially at dinnertime. Both of his daddies were delighted to find a method that seemed to hold some hope of being effective in improving the little guy's nutrition. 

The boy looked around the table and saw that the adults were all donning expressions of encouragement. His shyness abating, Kyle smiled with confidence. The food wasn't even all that bad, although the shake was still better in his book. 

* *  
After the dishes were cleared, Leon insisted on helping despite adamant insistence that he needn't feel obliged, Rob lifted Kyle into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair with the boy on his lap. “Buddy, I think Uncle Leon would like to make sure that you are all healthy. Papa and Daddy will stay right there, and you can ask to stop at any time. Okay?” 

“Whyyy? I don' need anyfing.” Kye said, burying his head in Papa's chest. 

“Sorry pal, but you do need to be checked out and it's much better to have Uncle Leon do it rather than a doctor in a regular office. So this is a decision that your daddies are making for you.” Rob said with much more authority than the boy was used to hearing. It was enough to subdue further arguments. 

Leon grabbed his duffle bag from the bench in the entryway and followed Rob (with Kyle still in his arms) and Jay into the nursery. Papa sat his little boy on the side of the crib where the guard rails had been lowered, tucking an arm around him for support. 

“Okay buddy, I'm just gonna listen to your heart and your lungs, okay?” Leon began, pulling out his stethoscope. 

Kyle stiffened for a minute, but with Papa's arm around him, it seemed silly to be too scared, especially because Uncle Leon was Daddy's friend. The drum was cold and sort of tickley, but not too bad. Trying to be extra good, the little boy even took all the deep breaths when he was asked to. 

“You're being such a good patient. I wish all the kids I saw were as brave as you are.” Leon praised. “Can we take your shirt off and have a feel of your belly?” 

In truth the idea sounded horrible, but Daddy was already tugging Kyle's shirt up and over his head before he had time to object. The poor kid tolerated Leon's ministrations until the man began examining his ribs, nodding as though confirming a suspicion. “Jay, go ahead and put your hand right here. Do you feel that bump?” 

Jay nodded, “Yeah, is that normal?” He waited until Rob had a chance to feel the spot too. Kyle grouched but didn't put up any real resistance at the prodding. 

“That is what a broken rib feels like after it has healed. He has several here. We can go over his medical records later, I think it's best we do that in private, but this is consistent with the reports that I was sent by his previous physicians.” 

Rob swallowed on a rock in his stomach, and Jay's face turned pale. “Oh dear god...” the little boy heard in his Daddy's low voice. 

“Don' worry Daddy, I fine.” Kyle tried to smile for his daddies. There were tears in Jay's eyes, “I know baby, I know.” Papa kept swallowing and blinking a lot and Kyle hoped he was okay, too. 

When Leon was finished, he helped Kyle put his shirt back on. There was a brief discussion of doing a further exam, but the boy made it clear that he was not taking his pants off, and given his history, all three men felt it would be best to follow his wishes. The last thing to do was to draw some blood, which was a surprisingly uncomplicated affair. It turned out that the little boy was not at all afraid of blood or needles, in part as Leon would later explain, because he'd probably had plenty of doctor's visits after leaving his family home as a pre-teen. 

The eventful day wound down with Kyle being settled into bed early, after falling asleep during the first twenty minutes of his movie. As their little boy settled in to a peaceful sleep, his daddies were about to learn some disturbing news about their little boy's past. Leon pulled out the boy's medical records and neither Rob nor Jay were prepared for what they were about to hear.


	21. The Bad News: Part 1 of 2 mini chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Medical records reveal the hurt that Kyle endured in his life before meeting his daddies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes into some detail about the abuse in Kyle's past. Skip this if you think it will be too disturbing for you!
> 
> Physical and sexual abuse are mentioned. Although not in great detail, please don't risk being triggered if you think there's a chance you'll be upset. You won't miss vital plot, promise!

The files themselves looked innocuous inside of Leon's brown leather messenger bag. Their unusual thickness was the only sign that there was a long story held within those pages. Leon opened the first folder and slid the first few pages toward Rob and Jay. 

“His records are typical for the first few years. Vaccines, the usual common colds, ear infections, chicken pox when he was five, that's all par for the course. No mention of a father in the picture, and no guardians listed other than his mother.” Leon slid out the next folder, spreading several pages in front of the concerned parents. He pointed to an x-ray of a skinny little arm, “There's a gap in the records for a few years. They pick up again in Delaware, at ten years old, this is from a residential foster home, his mother is reported deceased. The notes say that another resident accidentally knocked him down the fire escape, resulting in a broken wrist as well as a sprained knee and ankle.” He looked up at the grave faces of his friends, “I highly doubt it was accidental, those places are incredibly rough, especially for a kid as sensitive and gentle as yours.” 

Rob had to remind himself to breathe. He took hold of Jay's hand for support and they kept each other in a fierce grip. Both men were battling against mental images of their little boy being alone, abandoned, and bullied. 

“A few weeks later he had seven stitches on his scalp. This time the report states that an older boy pushed him into a window. He also had bruises at various levels of healing on his chest, arms and neck, indicating that he was frequently the target of physical aggression. That's the last that we see for awhile until he pops up back on the radar a year later.” Leon shuffled some papers again, taking out the thickest folder and sucking in a deep breath. “Now, from what I can tell, he ended up with a foster family just before his twelfth birthday. That's when it looks like his situation became dire. If you look at this x-ray taken just before he joined the Navy, you can see that he has several ribs which have healed over fractures. He stated that these were all from biking accidents, however the pattern of injury just doesn't fit with that explanation.” He flipped through the pages again until coming upon a form filled with highlighted lines. “If you look here, he was admitted to the hospital after spitting up blood. He had a stomach injury surgically repaired, and again claimed that it was due to a biking accident. Now, what doesn't add up is that it looks like his guardians were hospital hopping, which is what often happens when someone doesn't want doctors to see a pattern emerging.” 

Jay stood to pace the length of the dining table, his hands interlaced behind his neck. He couldn't process the horrific details that were flooding his mind. “I need to get some fresh air.” he said, opening the sliding glass door and stepping outside. He took one step and stopped, bending forward with his hands on his knees, he released a flood of angry tears. All he could think was how much he wished that he could have been there, known that little boy and been able to keep him safe, protected, and loved. A familiar, heavy hand fell on his back. 

“I know love...I know.” Rob rubbed his partner's back in slow circles. “He has us now. We're giving him everything he never had, we've got to remember that.” Eventually they sat on the edge of the deck, until they were grounded enough by the chill air to return to inside. They were both relieved to see that Leon had packed away all but one remaining folder. 

“I don't think we need to go over any more details from his juvenile history, you've seen more than enough. Now these are his records from the Navy; not as easy to get, but your lawyer came through for you. He only had two reported incidents relating to this situation with his superior officer. In the first, he had severe cramping which was related to internal abrasions in his rectum. It wasn't written there, but that's correlated with forced penetration. He was diagnosed with constipation and given a laxative. About a week later, he showed up with bruising on his neck, a split lip, and a black eye. This time he reported being forced to give oral sex, but refused to name the perpetrator. Soon after that he was discharged and thank god you found him when you did.” Leon concluded, slumping in his chair as if he'd just run a marathon. 

Abruptly, Jay stood, “I need to go check...I have to know he's okay.” He walked toward his boy's room in a daze. Without a word, Rob followed close behind. They held each other, staring down at their sleeping babe. “He's okay, he's okay...” Jay chanted in a whisper. Kyle was curled up on his side, a peaceful expression on his face, with a pacifier hanging halfway out of his mouth. His blanket was still pulled up to his neck, just the way he liked it.


	22. The Good News: part 2 of 2 mini-chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle's about to get spoiled :)

Leon, Jay, and Rob stayed up late that night, watching scary movies, of all things. It was a way of coping with their pent up emotions, even if it was a recipe for bad dreams. The couple invited Leon to stay the night rather than drive home so late, but their friend was too thoughtful, and although he didn't admit it, he was sure that the family would want some alone time come morning. 

When Kyle woke up, the first thing that he saw was the orange glow on his wall, which happened when the sun came into the sky in just the right way. He turned his head to look out the window and saw both Papa and Daddy sitting beside his crib. They looked happy, they looked sad, and Kyle felt confused, so he mumbled the first thing that came to mind, “Owange.” He didn't mean to make a joke, but both his daddies laughed and smiled at this, like he did when he watched Spongebob. Not sure how to react, the little guy offered an tentative smile. “Up-up, peese?..I wet.” he held out his arms, reaching up for the top of the bars. 

“Come here pal, did you have good dreams?” Jay asked, lifting the boy into his arms. 

“Uh huh.” Kyle gave a big nod. 

“What do you say we go do something special today buddy?” suggested Papa. 

“Toppy?” asked Kyle, referring to the indoor amusement park that he only knew by its name 'Tops.'

“Sure, if that's what you'd like.” said Papa, leaning against the doorway of the bathroom while Daddy ran a bath. 

“Bumbin' cars...an'...an'...foatys...an' space wocket...an' candy...an' zooms!” Kyle exclaimed, bouncing happily on his bare bum. 

“Hmm...what do you think Papa? Would Kyle really like all that? Bumper cars, bumper boats, the space rocket, and the zip coaster...are we sure he won't be bored?” Jay asked with exaggerated incredulity. 

Kyle let Daddy help him into the bathtub, then started splashing his hands against the water. “Nooo, Papa it gonna be fun! Tell Daddy we havin' fun! Evy'won yuv yuv yuvs toppy!” 

Both men were getting soaked and neither were the least bothered. They were fully aware that they needed to see their boy happy and that today, they just couldn't bear to see him sad. It was an unspoken agreement that they just needed to spoil him for a day. “Pleaaase Daddy, we'll have sooo much fun!” said Papa, batting his eyelashes at Daddy. 

“Oh alright, if you're really sure.” Jay agreed, flashing a big smile. “Now let's get all scrubbed squeaky clean so that we can spend the day getting messy again.” he shook his head with mock exasperation, eliciting giggles from Kyle.


	23. A Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to an amusement park, lots of fluff, and a little bit of a cliffhanger, but not the suspenseful kind : )

Kyle was an absolute goober all the way to amusement park. He pretended to be a robot, then a conductor on an ultra high speed train that was about to fall of the tracks (spoiler: he saved it), after that he laughed for a while, took several sips from his juice box, and watched the road for a couple peaceful minutes. That lasted until he thought up his next round of antics, involving making everyone in the car pretend that they were underwater, which required talking very slowly, and swimming with their arms (except the driver, who insisted that Daddys who pilot underwater vehicles have to drive very carefully). Then the imaginative little guy announced that they'd been blasted out of the water by a U-boat and were tossed straight through the atmosphere and onto a strange planet carrying alien life. He started speaking in nonsense syllables until the others caught on and did the same.

Then Kyle saw the sign. It was a huge, roller coaster shaped billboard, announcing that they were 5 miles from their destination. From then on he gripped the edge of his window and watched for more signs until they entered through the great big yellow gates at the entrance of the parking lot. Since it was still before noon and not a school holiday, the lot wasn't too full up. It was surprising then, when Kyle hesitated once they'd walked beyond the ticketing area and into the main park.

-

There were flashing lights and people moving everywhere. Why did it seem like everyone else knew where to go? Whole families hustled by so fast they looked like nothing more than great big blurs. A chaos of sound hummed at ground level while brakes screeched on a coaster high above their heads. The scent of deep fried fare was entirely overpowering. Kyle was completely stopped in his tracks by it all, he felt a tug on his arms and looked up to see his daddies had gotten a step ahead.

“You coming bud?” Papa asked. Daddy turned and said something into Papa's ear, then Daddy nodded and looked back at Kyle. Papa took a step backward, crouched down, and pulled the little guy up onto his back in one seamless motion.

Kyle leaned into the contact. Everything looked much cooler from up above, it was all balding heads and the tops of baseball caps in that less congested layer of life. He had a fleeting thought that maybe that was part of the reason tall guys always seemed more confident. It also helped that Papa's hair smelled just right, like manly shampoo, fresh laundry, and just...Papa. He sighed, holding on tight. 

“Like that better, little man? Where to first then?” Rob asked, nipping at a small finger that got just a bit too close to his mouth.

-

They'd begun with the tram, which made a looping figure eight around the park, then disembarked by the Jungle Jumbler, which was more or less a twisty track that took passengers through a squawking, roaring, tweeting, misty maze of lifelike animals zooming all around them. Kyle was all smiles from then on. He'd managed to use his puppy dog eyes to convince Jay to join him on the super tall slides. It turned out that Rob hated heights, and while he could tolerate being in elevated enclosed spaces, he drew the line firmly at the other vertical amusements. He'd happily snapped photos as Kyle sat wrapped in Jays arms as they flew down the tallest slide while seated on some sort of ultra frictionless magic carpet. He was checking the camera display when the two found him again. 

“Get anything good, or were we too fast for ya?” Jay said, lifting Kyle around the waist and swinging him side to side in his arms. 

“No one's too fast for The Flash!” Rob stuck out his tongue. Kyle laughed and Jay just groaned at the terrible pun. “Check it out, I got a great one of you guys with your arms up.” He tilted the screen for the others to see. In the picture Jay had a big open grin and Kyle was mid shout with eyes popped wide. 

“That's one for the refrigerator.” Jay ruffled Kyle's hair. “So whatdya say? Food now or one more ride first?” The boy only shrugged. He'd clearly been having a great time, but had been nearly mute since they'd entered the park. They'd been warned about the different ways that Kyle's mutism might manifest itself, and it was little surprise that in this somewhat overwhelming, if positive, environment that they'd see this reaction. 

Rob reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded paper map of the park. Holding it open, he asked the silent boy to point out where else he'd like to go. Kyle stared at the paper for a few seconds before pointing to an illustration of a series of spinning tops. “Okay bud, well that's between us and the food, so let's grab a snack and take a bathroom break first, yeah?” 

-

On an impulse that he didn't quite see the source to, Kyle leaned into Papa, squeezing him in a tight embrace. He breathed in slowly, then reached out his arm for Daddy, not caring who was watching. Being enveloped by the older men was like putting on a suit of armor. When they let go, Jay allowed Kyle to climb up onto his back and they went off in search of some food. 

The older men were prepared to handle curious, rude, or prying people, but the day continued smoothly. Since Kyle had trouble remaining focused and oriented in the bustling environment, the older men made sure that one of them was holding his hand at all times. In lieu of a sippy cup or a bottle, they purchased a lemonade with a squirt top. Rob and Jay had burgers while their little boy picked at some fried dough and chicken fingers. 

It was just shy of two hours later when the little guy began to drag his feet. He had just enough energy left for one more quick bathroom stop before being carried back to the car. He was out cold before they'd left the parking lot.

* *  
Home life had reached its balance in the following weeks. Rob and Jay went back to work; Rob as a consultant for a high level accounting firm, and Jay as a web designer. They made enough money from investments, mainly thanks to Rob's prowess, in order to live comfortably without the extra work, but they enjoyed what they did. Each took turns watching after their boy while the other worked, usually for no more than half of the day. 

Leon called to report that the blood samples he took showed mild anemia, for which Kyle began taking an iron supplement. He started to put on weight in small but steady increments. Using his nutrition shakes as a reward seemed a successful approach. Bit by bit they also identified which foods their boy preferred. They'd also settled into a good daily schedule, establishing their collective rhythm. Rob and Jay agreed that there was a marked improvement in Kyle's energy and mood. 

Therapy had hit somewhat of a plateau, which they were assured was not at all a bad sign. It simply meant that Kyle was growing comfortable with the process and that they were collectively creating a safe space for him. 

It was when the second visit to their lawyer came due that a new challenge arose: Kyle threw a tantrum...


	24. Tantrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle throws a fit, Jay and Rob handle it much better than any of them imagined they might. All will be well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you oodles and oodles to you wonderful commenters! It is the best gift to have people enjoying and engaged with this story!
> 
> To answer some questions that may come up in this chapter:  
> a) Discussion of Kyle coming out of his headspace will be covered in a future chapter.   
> b) The song lyrics are from The Carpenters, "Sing," but I changed some of the words, because I've always liked it better that way. The original says something like, "sing of good times not bad, sing of happy not sad." But I think that singing is just as important if you're sad or alone as it is for when you're happy. So, yeah. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Paperwork?” 

“Check.” 

“Birth certificate? Social security card? Picture ID?” 

“Yes, yes, aaand....yes, here it is.” 

Jay and Rob checked their list for the final time, neatly packing each piece of documentation into a folder. The clothes that Jay had picked out were laid out in their bedroom, Kyle had been bathed the night before, and they had already eaten breakfast. It wasn't a day that was all that significant in the eyes of the law, but it felt monumental to the two men. A couple of days prior, they had succeeded in helping their boy out of his headspace, with the aid of his therapist, for long enough to review and sign his section of the documents. Now all they had to do was sign a couple more things with their lawyer and the Notary Public as witnesses, and they would effectively be Kyle's guardians. 

“Alright, come on pal, let's get dressed.” Jay lifted him into his arms, resting the boy's weight on his hip as he carried him to the nursery. 

Kyle was a little bit put off. He was accustomed to a routine, a rhythm, and the morning had felt too off kilter, leaving him unsettled. A pair of khaki pants, a pale yellow button up shirt with, and a gray sweater, were draped over the rail of his crib. “Daaaddy,” the boy began warily, “no a gonna wear doze.” 

Daddy toed out the changing mat from under the crib and placed the boy down gently on it. “Sweety, Daddy picked those out for our trip to see the lawyer today. Remember we signed those papers, and now we're bringing them to her to make it all complete.” Jay gently brushed Kyle's bangs to the side. 

“No like her! Too lots a kestshins, not gonna go! No, no, no!” He pouted, thwaking his heel against the floor for good measure. 

“You don't have to answer her questions, buddy. I don't even think she'll talk about those things today, this is just about signing some papers and having them filed.” Jay sighed, tugging on Kyle's pajama pants to get at his diaper. 

Kyle snapped his legs shut, crawled away, and looked for something to throw. He grabbed at the first thing he saw, which happened to be his little bookshelf, and started flinging books wildly. “I. Don'. Yiiiike. Her!!!! No gonna gooo!” he shouted. 

Jay had to block a book from hitting his face, which would have been much more aggravating if his boy had been aiming, or even looking, at him. “Stop throwing Kyle, you know better than that.” he said in a calm, low voice.

To his credit, the angry little guy did stop throwing. Then he started ripping. Jay was shocked; Kyle loved his books and he treated them with great care. The shouting had dissolved from coherent words into guttural grunts and growls. 

“Not okay little man, calm down now.” Jay wrapped his arms around Kyle's, prying the tattered pages free from the smaller boy's grasp. He wasn't prepared for the blunt impact of something painfully slamming into the joint of his jaw. Instinctively, he released his grasp and clutched at the side of his face, cursing involuntarily. 

Rob's voice came from down the hall, “Jay, what's goin' on in there? Everything okay?” He waited a few beats for a response, then started walking purposefully toward the nursery. “What on Earth!?” he exclaimed, taking in the scene before him. Jay was still clutching his face with one hand while trying to grab at Kyle's crawling form with the other. For his part, the little guy was reaching out for the door jamb of the closet, attempting to pull himself inside before he could be caught. 

“Umm...what's all this?” asked Rob. 

“Tantrum. I tried to hold him still and he clonked me on the side of my face pretty good.” Jay said. Seeing Rob's face grow serious, his partner quickly added, “Not on purpose, he struggled and swung his head into mine.” 

“You better ice that babe, I'll deal with this one.” he pointed at Kyle. Rob turned his attention to the boy peeking out from inside the closet. Caught out on his spying, the boy quickly pulled the door shut. “Come on out here, young man.” 

“NoooOOO!” Kyle shrieked, pulling tightly on the doorknob since it lacked a lock. 

“You're getting too worked up, pal. I'm opening up the door now.” Rob tried to keep his voice even and calm. He turned the doorknob, which had just enough resistance to indicate that there was a naughty little boy trying to hold it shut. As Rob opened the door, Kyle slid right out with it, as if he were an attached accessory. His Papa had to swallow down his laughter at the angry little creature's antics. Then Kyle bit him on the finger, and Papa wasn't laughing anymore. 

“Ow! That fu-flipping hurt!That's enough, if you can't make safe choices then I'll help you.” Rob said. He wrapped one arm around the boy in a tight squeeze, pinning both flailing arms around the struggling boy. Rob placed his free hand on Kyle's forehead, pressing the little guy's head against his chest to prevent the kind injury that jay had just been subject to. He then stepped backward far enough sit back into the rocking chair, wrapping each of his legs around Kyle's to stop the kicking, wiggling, storm that seemed to be substituting for the no-longer flailing arms. 

“Shhh...you've got to breathe.” Rob whispered, as Kyle's muscles tensed and jerked in his grasp. 

“Not goin'! Not goin'! Nooo!” he screamed, continuing his last 'no' until he ran out of breath completely. 

“Okay...okay. First breathe, just breathe. We're not going anywhere right now, we're rocking in our chair and breathing. In and out, in and out.” He began slowly rocking and made his breaths audibly exaggerated enough for Kyle to follow. Sure enough, the boy's shouts turned into unintelligible sobbing in between renewed bursts of defiance. “Hush now baby boy, shh...breathe with Papa.” he encouraged, knowing that if nothing else, the boy would eventually wear himself out. 

Jay returned holding an ice pack to the side of his face. Struck by an inspiration, he started singing one of his favorite songs, the melody smooth and clear.

“Sing, sing a song  
sing out loud  
sing out strong  
sing of good things not bad  
sing when your happy or sad  
just sing, sing a song

make it simple to last   
your whole life long  
don't worry that it's not   
good enough for anyone  
else to hear  
just sing, sing a song

sing, sing a song  
let the world sing along  
sing of love there could be  
sing for you and for me.”

Rob joined in after the first verse, having long since learned the lyrics to his lover's slightly altered lyrics to the simple tune. By the second time they had sung the song all the way through, Kyle had gone from crying to humming, which in turn had helped to regulate his breathing again. The minutes ticked by. Rob removed his hand from his boy's forehead and Kyle turned his ear against the muscled chest, comforted by the steady vibrations created as the older man alternately hummed and sang along with Daddy. 

Finally, Kyle relaxed enough to be released from Papa's tight hold, though he was still enveloped in a hug. “Feeling a little better, Kye?” Papa asked. The little guy nodded in response. “That's a good boy. Can we talk about what made you felt so unhappy?” This time Kyle grumbled, which was as much consent as the older men wagered they'd get at that point.

“Do you know why we were going to the lawyer today?” Daddy asked softly. Kyle shook his head.

“We signed some papers, yea? One of them was to help if you needed Papa or Daddy to make a decision about money or where we all lived. Yes?” Daddy said. 

Kyle nodded again, tilting his head so that he could see his Daddy's face better. He sniffled, uttering a husky, “Yeah.” 

Papa said, “Good boy,” and gently ran his finger's through Kyle's hair. 

Daddy nodded, “And we wrote our names on another paper that said if Papa or Daddy needed to talk to a doctor for you, like Uncle Leon. Or if you were ever hurt or had a really bad ouchie, that we could take you to a doctor, and visit your, and stay with you. Yes?” 

“Uh huh.” answered Kyle, sitting up a tiny bit straighter. He brought his hand up to wipe at his teary eyes, and Papa grabbed a soft cloth from the nightstand drawer to help him. 

“Last time we saw the lawyer, her questions made you feel bad, huh? This time we won't talk about any of that. We promise. Today is all about us becoming one big family; about you being our baby boy.” Daddy held out his arms for Kyle, who slithered down and melted into the older man's lap. 

“Daddy hurt? I'm sorry Daddy!” Kyle cried, seeing the blossoming bruise on Jay's face. 

“Yes, and we're going to have a long talk about what we do when we need help acting safe. Right now we have to get to the car if we want to be on time. Can you get dressed like a good boy this time?” asked Daddy.

“Uh huh, I sorry Daddy! I weally, weally, sorry!” he cried. 

“Shh, dry those tears now. Let's let Papa get changed while we get dressed, buddy boy.” Daddy said, lifting Kyle into his arms and depositing him safely into the crib. He briefly whispered to Papa in a voice to low for Kyle to hear, but the boy knew that he had hurt Papa too, and he was so afraid that they would be really angry, but no one was yelling or fighting. He felt kind of strange inside, like what he imagined it would be like to get a puppy on Christmas day, except even better than that. It was like the world was a less scary place, and suddenly this trip to the lawyer seemed like a very good idea.


	25. Pure Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this chapter is just fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Call your dentist, the sweetness may cause cavities!

The benefit of Kyle's morning episode was that he was passed out cold on the ride to the appointment with the lawyer. He was hesitant to wake when they arrived at the office, but didn't put up too much of a struggle after making his Papa assure him about twenty times that he wouldn't be made to talk about anything he didn't want to. After their meeting, which was surprisingly (and pleasantly) boring for Kyle, they went out to eat at a nice restaurant. They managed to entice their little boy into eating lasagna, with Daddy feeding him about half of his bites, and prompting him the rest of the time. Granted, food wasn't really much of a reward for the picky eater with a limited appetite, so they took him to the bookstore afterwards. Jay was holding his hand when they walked inside, while Rob browsed on his own for a few minutes. 

Jay crouched down to get on Kyle's level. “Now you're getting a book because you were a good boy with the lawyer, but the deal is that we aren't reading our new book until you help Papa and Daddy fix the one's that you ripped up. Understand?” He tried for a balance of relaxed yet stern in his manner. 

Kyle blushed, taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Daddy, I didn't mean it.” he said, looking up through glassy eyes. 

“Don't be sorry pal, just listen to your daddies and do the best you can, that's all we expect.” He pulled his boy in for a hug, “Come on, let's go do some exploring.” 

They walked around the store for a while, wandering between picture and chapter books. Rob was looking for books that featured the same themes that Kyle enjoyed, but were a bit more advanced, for something to read together and keep the boy's mind challenged. Jay followed Kyle to the small toy section and allowed him to pick out a set of 'Zoobs.' 

He looked at the back of the box, “We can get these if you want, but I'm not quite clear on what they are, I've never seen them before.” Having grown used to going out in public as a family, he didn't hesitate to ask the lady at the front desk for some advice. 

“Excuse me, I was wondering what you've heard about these?” Jay asked. 

The woman's beaded earrings danced among wisps of her braided silvery hair. She looked at the toy and then from Jay to Kyle, and back to Jay again. “Well, yes we haven't carried these here for too long, but we've had quite a few customers returning for more sets. Might I ask if these would be for him?” 

Kyle looked the woman in the eye, then hugged close to his Daddy, who wrapped his arm around the little boy's shoulders. “Yep, he picked them out.” Jay smiled a proud smile that was just thin enough, with eyes just focused enough to communicate that it would be wise for the saleswoman to be tactful. Of course, with his height and build, it wasn't as if there were many people who ever dared to harass him. Little did they know, it was his tongue that could sting worse than a physical blow. Okay, he could admit that he was maybe getting a touch over-protective. 

“Do you like to build with legos, lincoln logs, things like that?” she asked Kyle with a sincerity in her voice that set Jay's blood pressure to settling down again. Kyle nodded, blushing.

“And what do you like to build; buildings, or cars, animals, monsters...?” she said.

“Mmm...” he looked up at Daddy, tugging on his shirt to pull him close enough to whisper, “say tutties, an' shawkies, an' big buildins Daddy, you say.” 

“He likes to make turtles, sharks, big buildings...he's very creative.” 

“Great, well let me show you a couple sets you might like. This one that you grabbed is more of a general one, which some people like to start out with, it's good for making buildings. Then this one here has some animal designs, and then this one is for dinosaurs and monsters. I'll let you browse unless you had other questions?” she smiled. 

“No thanks, we'll do some more looking, thank you for the help.” Jay said, secretly glowing inside just for the opportunity for his little boy to be accepted for who he was. Of course, there was every likelihood that the woman assumed Kyle had some sort of special needs or brain injury, but who the hell cared, all he asked was for the kid to be given a fair shake. 

\- 

The dining table was covered in scraps of paper, Kyle was kneeling on his chair so that he could hover over his work and reach for what he needed. Both daddies had offered to help, but the little guy insisted that he do everything himself. In truth he was just so horrified that he could have done this to his books, and ashamed of the way that he behaved, that he was determined to fix it all himself. He was taping a prince back onto his horse when Rob came over.

“You're doing a great job kiddo, but it's time to have your bottle and take a break for today. You worked for over an hour at this, I think you can finish it tomorrow. Have your shake now, and then you can play for a bit before a bath and a story and bed.” 

“But I hafta finish Papa! See!” he pointed to a headless dragon as if it were the key piece of evidence in a criminal investigation. 

Rob lifted the boy in his arms, “I do see, and I see that you're already getting worn out. So Papa says you don't have to finish tonight.” 

“Unh, finnnne” he grumbled into Rob's neck. 

“Alright little grumpus, be a good boy.” Rob snatched the bottle and settled into the rocking recliner in the living room. Kyle let out a soft hum which was a borderline giggle before opening up to let Papa feed him. 

Rob watched his little boy's eyes start to droop and he reluctantly changed position so that they were both forced to sit up a bit straighter. Kyle whined and turned to lean his head on his Papa's shoulder, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck. Rob smiled and rolled his eyes, looking over at Jay who was grinning warmly as he rose to go run the bath. “Bath time, sweetie.” Papa softly kissed the boy's cheek, wrapping arms under those short legs to carry him to the bathroom. 

“There's our little man.” Daddy tickled Kyle's tummy, turning the boy into a giggling, squirming, bundle on the changing mat. Jay kept on a steady stream of soothing chatter as he undressed him. “We'll have a nice bath, get all warm and cozy under your blankies, maybe read a nice story if you stay awake...I think you'll be asleep before your head hits the pillow tonight. That's okay, we had a really busy day, huh bud?” 

Given how tired Kyle was, Papa and Daddy scrubbed him up quickly, which the little guy thought was hilarious. They would raise and arm, scrub it up, then the other, one foot, then the next...pretending like they were racing. Though by the time they got to his hair, he was already yawning again. He was toweled off, diapered, and in his blue ducky pajamas in record time. Daddy even brushed his teeth for him, which he usually only helped with. He was right too; they hadn't made it through the first verse of a lullaby before Kyle was fast asleep, a faint smile still on his lips. Rob and Jay were hugged side by side, looking down at their perfect little boy. 

* *


	26. A Long Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a long day for everyone, Kyle hadn't slept well. There's cuteness, there's crankiness, there's love and caring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I am so sorry for the long wait! I haven't had the internet for more than a month. For those of you who stuck it out, thanks a million!
> 
> I didn't even go back for a quick edit because I had to post something. 
> 
> <3

Jay leaned back on the bed, panting until he caught his breath enough to release a satisfied sigh. Rob's head landed on his lover's chest, their sweat dampened skin still radiating heat. He reached out for Jay's fingers and they held hands in their own little ritual. 

“Love you.” Rob said, kissing just below one of Jay's nipples. 

“I love you too.” Said Jay, running his fingertips along Rob's spine. 

After some water and a hot shower, the two lovers slept deeply. Neither heard a peep through the monitor from their little boy. As far as they knew, he'd slept just as soundly as they had. 

* *  
Kyle woke up and immediately felt alert. He tried not to open his eyes, hoping that the world outside would turn to day if he could wished hard enough. After a few minutes he peeked his head out from under the covers and groaned. It was a pitch black night and the house was silent. One of the sheets felt scratchy so he pulled it free and tossed it out of the crib. Then his neck felt stiff, he moved from his left side to his right side, but his legs felt restless so he had to wiggle around. Finally he rolled onto his back in and huffed in frustration. He started with all the regular tricks for falling asleep; he counted turtles (cause they move more slowly than sheep); sang a song in his head (cause he didn't want to wake his daddies); even tried not to fall asleep (a trick that Sammy taught him). Something must have worked because he dozed off a little, but when he woke again the moon hadn't moved very much. The third time the cycle repeated he used his diaper, then in a daze he pulled it off and threw it over the edge of his crib. 

He was half asleep when the doorknob to his nursery clicked. Papa looked in and saw blankets strewn on the floor. When he knelt to pick them up, he found a wet diaper in the mix. Kyle opened his eyes as his Papa lowered the crib bars, humming when strong fingers stroked his hair. 

“Rough night buddy?” Rob asked. Kyle nodded, just barely, keeping his eyes on Papa without speaking. 

“Come on, let's take a nice hot bath and put on some cozy clothes. Then you can have a bottle and rock with Daddy in the big chair.” Papa reached out and wrapped his arms around the little guy. He stopped for a moment, soaking up the warmth of Kye's little body, overcome with love and compassion for this child. This wasn't a young man acting like a child, Kyle was a vulnerable little boy in a body that had grown more rapidly than the rest of him, which was saying a lot for such a small kid. Rob gave his son a tight squeeze and a kiss on the forehead before carrying him to the bathroom. 

Kye buried his face in his Papa's shoulder when the bright bathroom light flicked on. He felt himself being lowered onto the closed toilet seat, but slumped down onto the bathmat and scooted next to Rob. Kyle leaned against his protector, breathing in his comforting scent, and whimpered. Without a word, Rob pulled the boy in close, consciously slowing his breathing to transfer a sense of calm. As the water rose, Kyle reached his arm over the edge of the tub, running his through the steamy water, “Papa” he cooed. 

“Ready to climb in?” Rob asked. He helped to pull Kyle's clothes free, then offered his arm for support as the tired boy slipped into the tub. They were quiet for a while, Kyle's eyes drooped as his Papa gently washed him with chamomile soap. 

“Papa?” he asked, tilting his head back as Rob poured cupfuls of water over his hair. 

“Hmm, baby boy?” 

Kyle sighed, “Missed you.” 

“You missed me? Where did I go?” He was confused and thought this was most likely the result of another of the boy's troubling dreams. 

“t' sleep” 

“Close your eyes while I rinse buddy... You can always wake me up.” Rob tried to comfort him, but clearly failed, because Kyle opened his eyes wide and straightened his head, leaning forward. The shampoo must have gotten into his eyes as he reflexively rubbed at them with his palms, starting to cry. The lack of sleep sure wasn't helping the poor little guy cope. Rob felt terrible, especially when he had to pry Kyle's hands away from his face. 

“Owwiiiee!” he wailed, fortunately waking Jay from the twilight of half-sleep and causing the man to stumble down the hall toward the sound. 

“Kye! What's wrong?...Rob?” Jay called before finding the source of the commotion and turning into the bathroom. 

“You're okay bud, it's just the soap. We can wash it right out.” Rob said, thinking 'so much for no-tears shampoo.' “Can you fill a cup with clean water Jay?” 

Jay nodded and was back in record time, though with no few spills on the floor, with a large measuring cup full of water. He slowly poured the water over Kyle's eyes while Rob blocked the boy's hands from knocking Jay away out of instinct. After a minute they were finished, Jay patted Kyle's eyes dry with a washcloth which he then held against the boy's forehead while quickly rinsing the rest of the soap from his hair. “All better, pal?” Daddy asked. 

Kyle nodded, hugging his Daddy while he dried him off and put on his bathrobe. Rob lifted the boy into his arms and carried him to the big bedroom, tucking him under the covers until Jay brought some fresh cozy clothes in. 

“Let's put on some nice warm PJs and get all toasty under the covers.” cooed Rob. 

“Dada?” Kye had a fresh diaper on and his turtle in his arms. 

“Hmm?” 

“Never wake you up, Papa too. Pomise.” Kyle mumbled. 

Jay turned a confused look, brow furrowed, at Rob, who shook his head emphatically. Jay recognized Rob's 'don't say anything' look' “Shh, go to sleep sweetheart. We'll be right here.” 

Once Kyle was safely dozing, the two men sat on the edge of the bed in whispered conversation. “He was up all night, threw off all his sheets, and wet his diaper then threw that off too. At first I'd thought maybe we didn't hear him, maybe we were sleeping too soundly, or the monitor was off.”

“And?' Jay asked. 

“He didn't make a noise...didn't want to wake us.” Rob paused at Jay's startled look. “That's not the half of it. When I was bathing him, he told me that he missed me, so I asked why, he said it was because I was sleeping. When said he could always wake us, he got all tense and lurched upright. That's how he ended up with soap I his eyes and crying like that. I don't think he's ever cried that hard from something like that.” 

“Jesus no, I thought something terrible had happened. I really hate to think babe...after what Leon showed us...I can't imagine.” Jay shuddered. “But he's never purposefully tried to wake us, has he? Not once that I can think of.” 

“No, never.” Rob agreed, turning to watch Kye's slow, even breathing. 

* * 

Kyle didn't wake slowly, he was instantly awash with nervous energy, making him feel antsy and edgy. Daddy was sitting right beside him reading a book. As soon as Kyle started to sit up, Daddy set his book down and pulled the little boy beside him. “Hi baby boy, you weren't asleep very long.” He could feel the boy's muscles tightly knotted. When Kyle didn't respond, Jay told him to lie down again. Taking some baby oil from the nightstand, he lifted the boy's shirt up and started gently massaging his neck, back, and shoulders. As he worked, Jay could feel the little muscles relaxing and tensing as Kyle drifted between sleeping and waking. When he was finished, and the little guy was once again fast asleep, Rob came in to offer Jay a chance to take a break. Rubbing at his stubble, Jay kissed Rob, shifting his lips by the other man's ears to thank him. 

More than two hours passed before their little boy stirred again, this time waking with a smile and the tip of his thumb still brushing his lips. What he didn't know was that while he was sleeping, his daddies had cooked up a plan. Papa was sitting up in bed while Daddy was napping (actually, he was doing his best to pretend to be asleep). Papa picked up the stuffed turtle, bopping it against Kyle's nose, earning a giggle. “Morning sunshine, did you sleep well?” 

Kyle pulled his thumb back in his mouth, sucking on it in earnest, one finger curled over his nose. He managed a combined nod/shrug. 

“Daddy thought you might like some waffles, whad'ya think.” Papa asked, this time eliciting a more eager nod and a tiny 'uh-huh'. 

“Okay, just wait one second.” Rob turned toward Jay and made an exaggerated show of shaking the other man and 'whispering' in his ear at full volume. “Jaaayyy. Wake up! Time to make us waffles.”   
Rob glanced at Kyle, who was hugging his turtle and watching with wide eyes. 

“Jay...come on, we neeeed youu.” Rob whined. Jay finally responded, more as a result of his inability to keep a straight face any longer, and sat up, looking around. He gave Rob a big hug, “Oh I'm so glad you woke me. I love to see my two favorite guys, anytime of day or night.” Realizing that he might be overselling it, Jay climbed over Rob, lifted Kyle into his arms and carried him into the kitchen. 

“Wanna help Daddy cook?” he asked, setting Kyle down on the counter. 

“D'know how, Dada.” Kyle bit his lip, but Daddy gently pulled it free with his thumb. He grabbed a pacifier from the drying rack and offered it to the little boy, who opened his mouth for it. “That's okay, I'll teach you sweetie pie.” 

Jay grabbed Kyle's stool and called out the ingredients while his happy boy fetched them. It was clear to Jay that the dropped egg and spilled milk nearly had the kid in tears, but the older man simply smiled and said, “That's what paper towels were made for.” Jay tried to let the little guy do as much as possible by himself; showing him where to cut the stick of butter, but letting Kyle slice it; handing him the right measuring spoon, but letting Kyle scoop the salt and add it to the ingredients. With his larger hand over the boy's much smaller one, Jay helped Kyle pour batter onto the waffle iron. Rob walked in just in time to see Kyle's face light up as he squealed, actually squealed, when Jay pulled the first finished waffle out of the iron. 

“Pa'a I 'ake ih!” Kye declared through his pacifier, pointing at his creating. 

“Yep, I think we have a new little chef in the family.” Jay agreed, beaming. 

“Yea, 'amiyee” Kye agreed, with an awestruck tone, as if he'd completely forgotten that he was a permanent part of their lives. 

“Wow, that looks so good, can Papa try a piece?” asked Rob. In answer Kyle carefully pull off a portion and held it out to Rob, who took it with a playful nip at the tiny fingers. “Mmm, delicious! Great job. If you're this good, I'm never cooking again.” 

Kyle grinned, allowing Papa to take his pacifier and feed him some waffle. It kinda did taste better, not cause he made it, but cause his Daddy helped him. That's why he maybe ate more than he was used to. That's also maybe why he didn't even think about his bottle until everybody was done eating. He was spacing out, just leaning against Papa, when he realized that he was moving and twisted around to see where he was being carried. Not expecting this, Papa nearly dropped him, which was why Kyle shouted, “I falling!” 

Rob had been lightly resting a hand on Kyle's back and hadn't been anywhere close to dropping him, but the boy hadn't known this and lost all remnants of his tranquil mood. Rob and Jay did all that they could to help their child expend all of his nervous energy. After a trip to the department store (Kyle got toys and his daddies bought a baby monitor with a video screen), they urged Kyle into every activity they could coax him into. Then they helped him clean up the many messes he'd created. So it wasn't any surprise when the very overtired boy became very cranky. 

“Let's go take a bath buddy bear.” Jay said, taking hold of Kyle's hand. 

Kyle didn't look up from his Charlie Brown and Snoopy activity book. “No fanks.” he said through the thumb in his mouth. 

“Yes please. It's getting late and even Daddy and Papa will be going to sleep soon.” Jay replied with resolve. Kyle ignored this. Jay reached over and took the book and crayons from his cranky boy. This took Kyle by surprise, he crawled under the coffee table, around the far side of the couch, and stomped to the bathroom. Jay sighed and followed, greeted by a little crabby muffin with arms crossed and an admittedly adorable scowl on his face, “I'm takin' a baf, but I not gonna yike it!” he declared. 

“I don't think I'm gonna like it either.” Jay mumbled to himself, blinking his tired eyes. 

With a bath out of the way, the next battle was over pajamas. “Want puppies, dese is scratchy!” He jumped up and down, willing his stomping to shake the whole house, then threw the offending clothes across the room. 

“That's fine, you can where these instead.” Jay held up a shirt and pant set with simple stripes. 

“Puppies! Dose. Are. Stupid!' 

“At least they aren't scratchy, and little boys throwing tantrums don't get a choice.” Daddy wrangled the boy into his pajamas with no little struggling. He had to hand it to the kid, what he lacked in strength he more than made up for in wiggling. 

“No tantrum!! You havin' Tan Trum Da Dee!!” Kyle screamed, completely ignoring the burn that it left in his throat. 

By then Rob had finished rearranging their bedroom to accommodate the crib and made up a warm bottle. He came into the nursery and tapped Jay to get his attention. “Need a hand?” 

“No, we're done here. If the bedroom is all set...” Jay replied in a calm, if slightly breathless manner. He was standing behind the boy with his arms draped around him in what might have looked casual, if the crabby boy between his arms hadn't been wriggling like a fish out of water. 

Rob nodded and stepped out of the way. Jay frog walked Kyle into the bedroom and an amazing thing happened. Kyle calmed instantly, stopped struggling, took deeper breaths, and willingly crawled into his crib. “Baba for me peese Papa?” he asked with a scratchy voice, sniffling. 

Jay laid down also, and listened as Rob began singing Golden Slumbers by the Beatles. When he'd finished the song, Rob saw that Kyle had dropped his half finished bottle and Jay was softly snoring. 

Once there was a way to get back homeward  
Once there was a way to get back home  
Sleep pretty darling do not cry  
And I will sing a lullaby  
Golden slumbers fill your eyes  
Smiles awake you when you rise  
Sleep pretty darling do not cry  
And I will sing a lullaby  
Once there was a way to get back homeward  
Once there was a way to get back home  
Sleep pretty darling do not cry  
And I will sing a lullaby


	27. Horsing Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and Rob take Kyle to check out the equestrian therapy program.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All !!
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait. I took on an extra part time job and also acquired terrible writer's block.   
> I must have rewritten this chapter 5 times. :-P

“Good horsey.” Kyle cooed. He held his hand inside of his Papa's palm, gasping with delight it took took the hunk of carrot that he offered. When the large mare was finished chewing, she bent her head down and gently examined the boy, running her lips up his arm before sniffing his neck. He giggled, “She wants anover, Papa.” 

“That's good.” Rob was focused on the conversation between Jay and Becky, the extra perky stable staff. They were reviewing a standard liability waiver, or trying to. The flurry of questions that Jay was volleying at the girl with uncharacteristic sternness was hindering the process and the poor girl's voice was quavering. 

“You want us to stay on the other side of fence while our little boy sits on a thousand pound killing machine?” Jay was incredulous.

“They're not killing machines; they aren't even predators. We've never had a client injured while...”

“If that's true, then what's the harm in us staying beside him.”

“We're trained and experienced with these animals. Horses are not dangerous so long as the people around them act properly, that's why we ask...”

“What makes you think our kid knows how to act around one?” Jay started to raise his voice and Rob took the opportunity to pull him aside. He grasped Jay's hand, turning to the young woman, “Excuse us just a moment.” 

“Hon, I think she's trying to tell you that they need to be focused on Kyle and they need him focused to be them also. If you're nervous, that won't help anyone.” Rob whispered. 

The young woman cleared her voice, trying to get their attention. 

Jay scowled and squeezed Rob's arm. “I don't know if this is a good idea. What if Kyle gets scared? What if he falls off? He could be trampled!” 

The tried to interrupt again, but Jay barely glanced her way and gave a curt, “In a minute.”

“Babe, it's a trained and docile horse, not a herd of buffalo. Look how happy Kyle already is.” 

“Excuse me!!” She yelled. 

Rob and Jay turned as one. Rob was shocked that the girl had the ability to shout, and Jay had to take a deep breath not to snap at her. 

“Who's with your son right now?” 

\- -   
One horse was all alone. His chestnut limbs were long and thin, but his thick tail and mane were dancing in the wind. Kyle was drawn to it, mesmerized by the sad look in its eyes. It turned toward a flake of hay, nibbling at it with the long strands hanging halfway out of his mouth. 

The little boy didn't notice the sign on the gate, or the warning on the fence. Belly crawling under the bottom rung of fencing, he struck up a conversation with the animal. “Don't be sad, I'll be your friend.” 

Its face turned in the boy's direction but the horse remained tolerant of his presence. 

Kyle walked in a circle, careful not to come too close. “It's okay, I don't have nothin'. See?” He held his arms out, palms open. The horse wiggled its nostrils and took a step toward the strange little creature. “It's okay to be ascared, you just gotta take it slow, okay?” 

The horse responded by stepping closer and Kyle watched as it continued to chew on its food, though half was falling out the side of his mouth. “Aww horsey, you gotta eat your food. Here, have some more.” He pulled some bright green clover, presenting his tiny handful to the it.

Kyle watched as the horse pushed the food to one side of its mouth, again losing half of its food in the process. “Oh, your toof hurts, why didn't you say so? Stay here, I gotta get someone to help.”

Kyle took a couple steps and heard rustling behind him. He turned to see the animal following him.   
“Horsey, you gotta stay here...I gonna be right back. Pomise!” 

As he neared the fence, he saw his Papa and Daddy coming toward him and waved. They were shouting something and waving back. He reached out for the fence to climb between the rungs...and something knocked him down. 

“Oweee! Owee! Oweeeeee!” Kyle was on the ground, clutching his arms against his stomach. The horse started running in circles around the paddock. 

Rob ran toward his little boy, stopping just the other side of the fence. “Kyle, you're fine. Stay there and don't touch anything.”

Jay was ready to hop the fence, electricity be damned, but Rob blocked him. “Wait while she disarms the fence, don't lose your head.” 

Jay nodded, “Well, she better hurry up.”

A load four-note whistle freed the two as quickly as a racetracks gun. Rob was aware that Jay's mind was fully on Kyle, so he kept his eyes on the horse's actions. Something about the animal was off but he couldn't decide quite what. It was eying them warily while trotting back and forth, but not showing any signs of aggression. He heard Jay tending to Kyle. 

“Daddy, is still oweee.” Kyle complained, refusing to uncurl his body. 

“I know bud, it'll be better in a minute.” Lifting the little bundle in his arms, Jay carried him over to a low beside the stable. “Feeling better now?” He kissed the boy on the head, rocking him gently. 

“Daddy?” Kyle looked very serious as he waited for his Daddy's nod. “His toof hurts an' he need a doctist.” 

Jay raised his brow, “Your tooth hurts, show me were.” Kyle twisted and pointed at the horse, “No! His toofs.” 

 

Meanwhile Rob was waiting impatiently for Becky, the now much less perky stable staff, to radio for a supervisor. 

“I'm sorry, I have no clue why the fence was on that high. It's never happened to me, and I've accidentally touched these electric fences lots.” 

Rob rolled his eyes. “Well that's very reassuring.”

“Oh thank the Lord.” Becky mumbled. “This is Illana, our supervisor.” 

A tanned woman in jeans and leather work boots, hair pulled back into a sporty pony tail, approached and shook Rob's hand. “Robert, I understand there was a malfunction with one of our fences. Is your child alright, does he need medical attention?”

“Thank you, but no. I'd worry that a smaller child might have been seriously injured. All I'd like from you is assurance that you'll rectify the problem. It was my fault that I lost track of Kyle.” 

“Papa, tell em about his toofs!” Kyle shouted as he tugged his Daddy over, then hastily added, “pease.” 

“Don't shout buddy. Come say hello to Illana.” Rob said, gently trying to redirect the boy. 

Kyle shook the woman's hand. “Hi, I Kyle and that horsey toofs hurt, so you gotta call him a doctist, got it?” 

Jay chuckled, “I think you mean 'dentist' kiddo.” He turned to the two women, “I don't know where you get these ideas.”

Illana crouched down to the boy's level, “How can you tell he has a toothache?” 

Kyle took a deep breath, and began gesturing and pantomiming as he explained, “A cause he only chew like dis, on one side. An' he let the food fall a cause it hurts ta swallow. And he look like he sad an' hurt, specially a cause he all alone. I fink he miss his friends, but he can't have anybody around 'til the doctist fix him.” 

Illana shot a sideways glance at Becky, then studied the horse thoughtfully. “I think you might be right. I'm not sure how all of my staff missed it. Becks, I think you ought to give Chris a call and tell him it's urgent.” 

\- -   
Later that evening, Rob sat in the rocking lounger rubbing Kyle's back as he slept. He whispered to Jay, “It's amazing, the way he sees the world...still so innocent after all he's been through.” 

“Speaking of which; when do we tell him about the deposition?” 

“Soon, let's just let him enjoy today....”


	28. The Deposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me!  
> Kyle has to come out of his headspace for a brief time. Turns out the kid is whip smart, and a bit of a smart ass!  
> There is a bit of a cliffhanger, I'm sorry, I'm evil, but he's about to get really little for a while, and this chapter is the precursor to that.  
> I promise you many flufftastic chapters to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Brief description of physical violence and non-consensual sex act.

They delayed as long as they could, which wasn't too unusual for Jay, but was unheard of with Rob. Days were crossed off the calendar, the kitchen was restocked, house cleaned top to bottom, bills paid, laundry finished. In fact, all the usual targets of procrastination had been tackled, which was why the two parents found themselves facing the moment they dreaded on the evening before the deposition. 

Kyle was on the rug where his Lego men were busily climbing up a ferris wheel to save a plastic hippo.  
Once the toy was safely back on the ground, it was subject to a stern lecture. 

“Must be dis tall,” blue shirt-cowboy hat said, wiggling wildly in front of the artiodactylous offender. 

“Nuh uh, am so tall!,” persisted the hippo.

“Yeah, but you kinda fat,” hook hand-green pants explained, waltzing around the animal. 

“Okay, you wanna ride me 'stead?” it generously offered. 

Catching this scene in progress, the men lost their nerve and agreed just to take the boy for his bath first. So hippo, cowboy, and hook, all had a long soak in the tub where they rode a sponge like a flying carpet. He was just so adorable, and when Rob dried him off, Kyle gave him such an honest, innocent smile, that they only had to let him have his bottle and story first. And he was so sleepy after that, what would be the sense in worrying him when it would surely lead to nightmares? 

\- -  
The night air carried a calming chill. Jay drank in lungfuls, looking up to the stars that shone through the tree branches. He felt shaky and off kilter, but couldn't think why. This situation was so unfamiliar, he was a smart guy, but the complexities of the military justice system were beyond him. Half the time he still felt at a loss with Kyle; trying to get by on an intuition that he could never fully trust. Rob was better at this, he was logical, calm, and confident. He would have wanted, even expected Jay to wake him when he was caught up in one of these stress spirals, but one of them would need a full night's sleep. Standing to stretch, he wandered back into the family room and spread a blanket over a yoga mat, pulling a pillow and extra blanket off of the couch. When all else failed, sometimes the unfamiliar setting was enough to trick his mind into letting go...

\- -  
Rob sat across the table from Kyle, holding both of the boy's hands in his own. Jay keyed on his iPad and pulled up an app that a friend had been kind enough to create for them. A series of questions would appear, then a correct answer would queue up a higher level task, and an incorrect answer would have an inverse result. 

“Ready to start?” Rob asked. 

“Uh huh.” Kyle whispered, his timid eyes downcast.

“Okay; if Joe and Daniel have a combined age of 41, and Joe is one year younger than Daniel, how old is Joe?” Jay asked. 

Kyle gave a bored sigh, as if someone had asked what color the sky was. “He's 20, Daddy.” 

“Good. Everyone takes a number to buy tickets for a show. You are number 300 in line, number 60 just stepped up for his turn. If each person can only buy one ticket, and it takes one minute per purchase, how many hours do you still have to wait in this line?” 

“None, let's skip it and go get ice cream.” Kyle whined. 

Rob and Jay both chuckled. “Well, I'm gonna wait in the line, so how long?” Rob asked. 

“Four hours Papa.” Kyle was rewarded by a squeeze from his Papa. 

“You're doing great, we're right here with you.” Rob assured him, feeling the boy's muscles relax just slightly.

“If a store gives you a 75 cent voucher for every 20 dollars you spend, how much money will your vouchers add up to if you spend 120 dollars.” 

“Technically it won't be worth any money, it's only a discount coupon that has value in that store. Not the same as a refund. But you're gonna make me answer anyway, so it's worth 4 dollars and 50 cents. Are we done now?” Kyle blinked, it had taken him about 20 seconds to supply his cynical answer. 

“Do you feel like we're done now? It's up to you, but when we go inside the courthouse they're gonna ask some tough questions. Your lawyer isn't the one we've met with before, she's still helping you in her own way, but today all the lawyers are going to be from the Navy. You understand, Kye?” Jay probed. 

“Yup. I hate it, I hate this, they'll try to make me miserable, but after they tear me apart, you'll put me back together again.” He raised one corner of his mouth so quickly that had either of them blinked, they'd have missed it. Then Kyle pulled his hands away from Rob's, shoved his hands in his pockets, and plowed ahead in the direction of the front doors.

\- - 

The typewriter clacked away, indifferent to Kyle's distress. He heard his name called and jerked his head up, causing a painful crick in his neck. The old officer sitting across from him was simultaneously glaring and smiling, which gave him an unsurprisingly sinister appearance. “I'll ask you again, did you tell him _no_ , Mr. Brennan?” The lawyer separated each word, adding in punctuation that existed in no other area of discourse, save interrogation.

The pain in his neck increased and Kyle tilted his head, finding the trigger point and leaning into it. He'd end up stiff and sore if he tried to avoid the discomfort, better rather to take it on, endure it for a moment, and by doing so, bring an end to it. “As I have already stated; I was being choked, which rendered me incapable of speaking. I did not give my _consent, sir_ , and fighting him only made him rougher.” 

“So you're saying that you failed to tell him to say no, or tell him to stop?” The lawyer antagonized. 

“What I'm saying, is that I failed _to breathe_ and failed to have adequate air of movement through my _plica vocalis_. That is, my vocal cords. Once he removed his hand from my throat, Lt. Evans inserted his intromittent organ, id est, his _penis_ , which effected much the same outcome.” Kyle blinked once, staring the man dead in the eyes. 

In the corner of the room, Jay's eyes bugged out and his mouth fell open, Rob gave his hand a tight squeeze. It was no small feat that they remained quiet, awed by the spectacle before them. 

“Did you have any further questions, or is this meeting at an end?” The prosecutor, or whatever the Naval equivalent was, asked pointedly.

“No, that will be all for now.” Then, to the astonishment of Jay and Rob, neither of whom had been paying attention to the lawyers when they'd first arrived, the pompous old jerk saluted the man sitting beside Kyle. The young prosecutor returned the salute, collected his files, slid them in his briefcase, and lead Rob, Jay, and Kyle out of the room. 

Kyle cleared his throat, and his lawyer turned to look at him. “I'd like to go now, if that's alright.” 

“Of course, you did well. I think you pissed him off. It takes a lot to make a lawyer sweat, you did good. Well then, good afternoon.” 

Kyle raced out of the building, not jogging, but pulling off a pretty impressive speed walk. Rob and Jay followed, their longer legs made it easy to keep up with him. He made it halfway to their car before the grief and shame barreled into him. It was like a punch in the gut, doubling him over before he knew what had hit him.


	29. Uphill from Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Putting the pieces back together, healing, there's some fluff.

“You get him, I'll bring the car around.” Rob said, already jogging through the maze of parked vehicles. 

Jay ran after Kyle and lifted the sobbing boy into his arms effortlessly. Holding him tightly, Jay whispered a steady stream of reassurance. Kyle wrapped his limbs around his Daddy, clinging to him like a life raft. “You were such a brave boy. Papa and Daddy are so proud of you. Now we're gonna go home, and we're gonna get all cozy, and we're gonna rock in our big rocking chair.” Jay said, swaying back and forth. 

Rob pulled up beside the two and waited while Jay settled Kyle into his seat. Kyle would not get into his seat, wailing and begging for his Daddy not to let go. It was gut wrenching to listen to. “Noo! Daddy, don't leave me, I'll die!!” Kyle shouted. 

“Forget his booster seat. You sit on the far right, buckle him in the center, then he can rest his head in your lap.” Rob ordered. 

That kind of bossiness would be counterproductive for some, but it was just what Jay needed. They managed to get settled, at least physically, though Kyle sobbed the all the way home. By the time they had pulled into the driveway he was running out of steam, and it had tapered into a quiet weeping. One tiny hand was held tightly in his Daddy's grasp, the other thumb was being firmly suckled in Kyle's mouth while his Daddy softly brushed his long fingers through the boy's hair. 

They took him inside and went straight for the rocking chair. Rob ached to hold the boy and comfort him, but there was no way that would be possible with him clinging onto Jay like a barnacle. To satisfy his need to nurture, Rob transformed into a papa hen (which technically should be a rooster, but he was a papa and he was acting like a mother hen, and back off of the poor guy because he was under a lot of pressure!). He put Kyle's favorite blankie in the dryer until it was cozy and warm before wrapping it around the half-sleeping form. Little whines of despair emanated from the curled up kid, now in the fetal position with his body on his Daddy's lap, head on his chest, held tightly in the man's strong arms. Occasionally Kye would utter a word or two in an urgent, high pitched plea; “rock more,” and “tighter” (a cue for Daddy to sqeeze him tightly), and “humming” (a request for Jay to softly hum a song so that Kyle could listen and feel the vibrations against his ear). 

Meanwhile, Rob fixed a bottle of warm milk, which Kyle refused. Then he brought Jay a steaming cup of chai, which was gratefully accepted. He rearranged their furniture so that the love seat was pushed right against the rocking chair and then sat close enough to rub the boy's back in a steady rhythm. They sat like this for some time until Jay mouthed for Rob to check the boy's pull-up. It was soaked. 

“Okay bud,” Daddy whispered, “time for babies to be changed.” Kyle responded with a quiet whimper. 

Rob and Jay worked in unison, making the change as speedy as possible, because it was clear that any position outside of rocking in someone's lap was simply too much for the little guy to bear. Later they would both agree that this was the day when their strong little boy met his breaking point. What they had seen before was that Kyle always had some remnant of his shields still up. That was okay with his daddies, they understood that trust grows slowly, especially with such a wounded boy. Though they couldn't immediately put words to it, both men instinctively perceived that their child was grieving for a lifetime of hurts, loss, and violation. Now they were going through it with him, they were there beside him, guardians in the truest sense of the word. It was too much for Kyle to ever face on his own, the weight would bury him, but with these men, parents, protectors, surrounding him, he could break apart. But breaking is painful, each wound whispered to him, the darkest moments tried to drag him back down. It was as if he were in the center of a vast ocean, caught in a terrible squall, but he had rescue swimmers to keep him from drowning. It still hurt, almost unbearably so, and now that it started he couldn't make it stop, and...

“Breathe Kyle.,” came Papa's voice as his large hand began to rub the boy's chest. Kyle inhaled a shuddering, shallow breath. 

“Pass me the menthol rub, love?” Papa asked Daddy. Jay reached for a shelf under the changing table and handed the green jar to Rob. It was then that Jay saw the tears in Rob's eyes, he reached out and grasped the man's head, wiping away the tears. “I know...I know.” Jay whispered with a nod and a squeeze of the other man's shoulder before turning to attend to their boy again. Rob took a deep breath and rubbed the salve on Kyle's chest, hoping the menthol would remind the boy to breathe, and also help clear his over-worked sinuses. 

Daddy finished changing Kyle, placing a fresh diaper and putting cream on the few spots of irritated skin. Papa finished applying the mentholated lotion and took they opportunity to change him into a warm pair of PJs that Rob had also thoughtfully run through the dryer. He picked up their now whining boy who was reaching out his arms like antennae, and back they all went to the rocking chair. 

A little while later, after a much needed stretch and restroom break, Jay surprised Rob with a gentle kiss on the lips. Rob had been lost in thought, thankful for the silence after the tumultuous day, but met Jay's eyes with appreciation. Without words, just a glance or a gesture here and there, they put their sleeping bundle to bed. He'd started to wake the moment that he lost physical contact with someone, so they had to take turns getting set for the night. 

* * 

“Hello! It's me, I'm here!” 

Kyle heard a cheery voice from down the hall. Slipping out from between his daddies, he crawled out of the room and shuffled toward the kitchen. He let out a big yawn, making it halfway to the front door before hearing the same excited voice repeating, “Hello! It's me, I'm here!” It was coming from the counter. Kyle climbed up onto a stool and saw a flashing icon on his Papa's iPad screen. He touched his index finger to it and nearly fell off his stool when a face appeared, a smile stretching all the way up to two bright hazel eyes, which were halfway hidden by strawberry blond curls. 

“Where did you go? Kyle, you have to pick me up so I can see you.,” said the voice.

Without touching a thing, Kyle whispered, “How do you know my name?” 

Not skipping a beat, the voice on the screen says, “How do you know _my_ name?,” with an air of satisfaction. 

“I _don't_ know your name.” Kyle picked up the iPad and narrowed his eyes at the on-screen face. 

“I...aaaam...Dillly!” said the boy, throwing his arms up in a 'ta-da!' motion. He held his arms up, as if waiting for applause, though unconcerned when none was immediately forthcoming. 

“One moment please.” Replied Kyle politely before disappearing from view. He giggled to himself when he heard 'Dilly' calling out, “Wait...what!?” 

Reversing his path, Kyle returned to the big bed and put his little paw on Papa's cheek. “Papa, I think you have a Dilly.” 

Papa blinked, “Huh?” He sat up a bit, “What about Daddy?” 

“No, a Dilly.” Kyle sighed, then patted his own head, “Curly.” 

That was when Daddy rolled over, “What did he say about my curlies?,” he cuckled.

Reaching his limit, Kyle just pointed toward the kitchen. He didn't see Papa mouth the name 'Dylan' to Daddy because he was already lifted into Papa's arms and being carried out of the bedroom. Daddy was following them, making goofy faces to get the little guy to laugh. 

It was working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, it's not just as easy as all that. It's not like there won't be a healing process, ups, downs, and all that. I just had to leave you all with the hope of a some happiness and bring back the fluff.


	30. Hello, goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We now interrupt your sleep to bring you this brief Skype chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little update to say to you all, 'hey, I swear I'll be updating more regularly again.'
> 
> All of your comments are so encouraging and make every ounce of effort so worth it!

In the kitchen their virtual visitor was engrossed in the process of getting his tongue better acquainted with his nose. The performance was enhanced with a running soundtrack of hums and grumblings. 

Papa cleared his throat, “Dylan, where did your mommy go after she gave you permission to call us?” 

The boy smiled, just a tad desperately, “You ask da best questions Uncle Robby.” 

“That's not an answer little boy.” Rob wasn't swayed, he was like the parental version of the postal service; neither smiles, nor tears, nor begging, nor tantrums, would interfere with the swift completion of his duties.

“Well, let me think.” Dylan tapped his fingers to his lips, attempting to look thoughtful. 

“Better think fast, cause I'm calling your mommy in 3...2...” Rob allowed Jay to shift Kyle into his own arms, thereby leaving him free to raise a phone to his ear. 

“I mighta didn't ask her yet!!” The little guy squeaked. 

Rob's voice softened. “Good boy. Go and find her please, we'll wait for you.” He watched the little devil hop down and scuttle out of sight. Beside him, Jay was carrying Kyle to the Nursery. “Everything alright Love?” 

“Yea, we just need a quick costume change and we'll be ready for our close-up.” Daddy called back, punctuating it by blowing a raspberry against Kyle's side. 

Kye giggled until he was on the changing mat. His eyes tracked every movement that Daddy made; fresh diaper pulled off the top of the pile, baby powder and diaper cream set beside it, clean pants and socks chosen from the top two drawers of the bureau. Then he saw that Daddy was ready and was struck with the inexplicable urge to crawl away. 

“Where you going buddy?” Daddy cooed.

“No wet, fank you.” There wasn't really very far for Kyle to go, so he turned around and went in the other direction. 

“You're very wet.” Daddy frowned, “But you don't want a change, huh?” 

“No fanks, bye bye, nah night.” Despite some far away part of him knew this wouldn't work, Kyle felt sure that he could convince Daddy he was asleep. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, curling up into a ball. 

Jay gently brushed stray hairs from the boy's forehead, “Do you wanna rock, sleepy boy?” Kyle nodded, eyes still shut tight. “Will you let Daddy take your wet pants off first?” 

“Quick like a ban'-aid, Daddy?” Only Kyle's lips moved as he asked. 

“The quickest.” Jay assured him, and pulled the tabs open before the little boy could get himself worked up. “You know what? Maybe I should just wipe you up too, so you don't get a rash, yea?” Jay waited for Kyle's nod. “Atta boy, all done. Now we can have a rock in our chair.” He grabbed one of Kyle's incredibly soft blankets and wrapped it around his bare bottom half, carrying him out into the family room rocking chair. He reflected that a little time for the boy's skin to dry out would likely be for the best. 

Papa was in the process of warming up a bottle for the little guy, sure that he wouldn't last too long before dropping back off to sleep. Although it was nearing Dylan's bedtime, it was only 5:30am in Maryland. 

“Hello out there!” called a woman's voice from the iPad. In the background she was saying, “Mommy will talk about that with you later, now it's time to 

Rob tested the temperature of the milk on his wrist before lifting the tablet to greet their friend. “Hello there, good to see you.” Rob smiled. 

“And you. How's your little one holding up?” her warm smile was edged with concern. 

“He's getting there, thanks. I think it'll take some time, but he's a more resilient than he looks. More resilient than anyone should ever have to be, but getting better at communicating his needs in his own way. I think he's up for a _calm_ chat.” The emphasis was for Dylan's benefit. He was a great boy who, for all of his wild energy, did best with clear expectations and firm boundaries. 

The loveseat was still resting beside the rocking chair, making for an easy video chatting set-up. Jay turned Kyle so that he was facing the camera without breaking the rhythm of his rocking. He accepted the bottle from Rob, holding it for Kyle to drink from. 

“Hi.” Dylan cupped his hands around his mouth and stage whispered. 

Kyle's eyes watched the screen for a moment and then he lifted one hand enough to wiggle a few fingers in greeting. Much to Dylan's disappointment, Kyle was asleep with milk dribbling down his chin moments later.


	31. Peanut Butter and Jelly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff, a little hurt/comfort also.

Rob sat at the dining table, focused on updating a spreadsheet with their monthly expenses while gently bopping his head to some indie music. He was giving Jay a chance to work off some tension in their home gym since Kyle had become absorbed in an Highlights magazine. With headphones in his ears, Rob wasn't able to hear when the little guy got up from his playmat and wandered into the kitchen. 

In no way was Kyle intentionally sneaking around his Papa, he was acting on a stroke of inspiration. He'd been coloring in a page that had the words to the peanut butter and jelly song beneath a picture of a pb and j sandwich when his stomach started gurgling, which gave him the idea to surprise his daddies with some sandwiches because their stomachs were probably grumbly also. Shuffling to the fridge, he looked up at the bag of bread resting all the way on the top, much too high to reach. Okay, no problem, he could get the pita bread from on the bottom shelf inside the fridge. The bread, grape jelly, and peanut butter collected, he climbed up his little step stool and placed the items on the counter of the kitchen island. He was humming the peanut butter and jelly song as he worked. 

First he had to open the peanut butter jar, which took all of his strength but finally gave. Kyle made a face as oil poured out, making its way onto, under, around, and inside of everything. Righting the jar, he stuck in a butter knife and started to work the remaining oil back into the pasty peanut mixture. His patience for the task did not last very long and he pushed the peanut butter aside, moving to open the jelly. The peanut oil on his hands made it impossible to open the jelly, so he pulled the sleeves of his shirt down and used them to wipe everything off as much as he could. Finally he had to use the bottom of his shirt to cover the top of the jelly jar. He spread some peanut butter on each pita, smoothing the lumps out, then doing the same with the jelly. With a satisfied smile, he folded each pita in half, carefully climbing back down the step stool with the sandwiches pressed between his hands. 

A peek around the corner informed Kyle that Papa was still busily doing important Papa things. He wandered down the hall and slid down the stairs on his bum. Slide-bum-feet, slip-bum-feet...all the way down. He followed the sound of clinking metal to the closed door of his daddies' workout room. “Daddy! Yunch time. Peena buddr jowwy time. Dadaaa!!” Kyle called, then began singing his own version of the peanut butter jelly song again, complementing it with a little dance. 

Instead of the door opening, Kyle heard heavy footsteps swiftly descending the stairs. “Kye, what's wrong?” Papa asked, eyes scanning the boy's body for injuries. 

“Nuffin' I callin' Daddy for yunch.” He held up the sandwiches, which by now had about as much peanut butter and jelly on the outside as they did inside. “I made 'em!” 

Papa chuckled, “Yea I can see that. Let's get Daddy then.” He reached in his pocket and unlocked the workout room door. Jay was listening to rap while pumping away on the rowing machine. 

Daddy wiped at his brow with a small towel. “Oh, hey babe, I was just about to finish up. What time is it?” 

“Peena buddr jowwwwyy time!!” Kyle literally hopped into the room with a goofy grin on his face. 

Jay burst out laughing, leaning his head back until he caught his breath. “Up we go then.” He stood, patting Kyle's little bum to prod him back up the stairs. 

Soon they were seated at the table, Kyle with a sippy cup of milk while Papa and Daddy had water. Kyle smiled gleefully as his daddies offered compliments and made a show of happily eating their sandwiches. 

“What do you say to washing off our dirty boy after lunch?” Rob asked Jay. 

“You take care of the counters and the jelly trail, and I'll take care of the sticky monster?” Jay offered, 

“Papa...Daddy?” Kyle dropped his chin to the table, crinkling his napkin in front of his face. 

“Mhmm?” They both responded. 

“I been finkin' and I finkin' dat I don' need no bafs no more, pease, fank you.” The little boy glanced innocently up at his daddies. Kyle's lips became tight and thin, eyes darting back and forth. 

“Why's that, sweetie?” Papa asked, putting his arm around the boy's shoulders. 

Jay and Rob were watching each other. They'd become familiar with the boy's newly formed habit of ending his sentences with please and thank you when he wanted to avoid talking about something troubling. “Did you have some bad memories today?” 

“Nope. Bye bye!” Kyle said, crawling under the table and racing behind the couch. 

“Kye, it's okay. You don't have tell us, but you know you're safe. Papa and Daddy are here.” Papa crouched down beside the couch, two doe eyes staring back at him. 

“I did'n meena make mess. I sowwy I am d..d..d.. I was bad.” 

“Hey, hey, none of that. You didn't do anything bad, sweet boy.” Daddy said from the other end of the couch. Seeing signs that the boy was gearing up to start banging his head against the wall, Jay pulled the couch out and scooped the boy up. 

Kyle struggled, his breaths growing shallow, “You said I was d...dirty.” He cried. 

“Oh, oh, I'm so sorry baby. You're not dirty, you just have a lot of sticky stuff on you from working so hard in the kitchen. Sometimes bad people use that word to make you sad, but Papa and Daddy only meant you were a little messy. But I promise we'll try never to talk like that around you anymore, okay?” Daddy comforted him, landing soft kisses on the top of his head. 

“Yea, but before when I was reawwwy little, and I was yivvin' wif da bad man and da bad wady. Dey say, 'You dir'y an' you bad,' an' dey make a baf yike boilin' hot an' scwub and scwub. I did'n yike it.” Kyle wailed. 

Daddy continued shushing softly while Papa walked away. Kyle craned his neck to see where he was going, but it was just to the counter, so he buried his face in Daddy's shirt again. Then all of a sudden everything smelled like...oranges? Kyle sneezed forcefully and looked at his Papa. 

“It's orange oil, pretty strong huh?” Rob held it out to the boy, who took another cautious whiff. 

“Yeah, make Daddy smell it too.” A little glint returned to Kyle's eyes. 

“Oh, Daddy can smell it just fine from here.” Jay assured him. 

“Come on, do it for the boy.” Rob said with mock reproach, to which Jay acquiesced, resulting in some more sneezing. 

“Tell you what; let's change our clothes, and wash our face and our fingers, then have nap time, and we can wait on our bath until tonight.” Daddy suggested. 

“Wockin' chair too?” Kyle asked, sniffling. 

“Rocking chair too.” Daddy assured him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I have the overarching plot set out in my mind, I'm open to suggestions for anything that you hope to see happen. Except, if you're curious about Dylan and Kyle, yes they do meet in person eventually :).


	32. The Lazy Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Daddies away, will their boy play? Or will he have a meltdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting. I had trouble with this, first with what to write, and then because I couldn't find a good cutoff point, so it ended up longer than I usually make a chapter. 
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this one.  
> Enjoy! <3

Leon was dribbling a soccer ball between two defenders when the sound of his phone ringing reached him. He faked a shot and kicked a perfect pass to a his teammate, then turned around and jogged over to the bench. Behind him a chorus of cheers and groans erupted as his team scored a goal – not that it mattered, they never kept score. The Jaws theme song continued to play as hunted in his jacket pockets for the phone. Everyone knew that he was on-call, which was the only reason they weren't giving him grief for popping out of the game without waiting for his substitute to take his place. 

“Dr. Hanson,” he answered, not bothering to check the caller ID. 

“Leo, it's Jay, do you have a sec?” 

“Sure, what's up?” He realized he was panting into the receiver and pulled the phone away from his mouth. 

“Did I interrupt something man?” Jay asked, his tone laden with implication. 

“No. I mean yes, soccer. Are you okay?” 

“Yea, we're in a little bit of a tight spot and it'd be great if you could help. It's short notice, so if you can't I completely understand. It's just that we managed to lose track of the date for a wedding we were invited to ages ago. Is there any chance that you'd be able to babysit this Saturday for a few hours? If we go to the ceremony and leave after the toasts then we can cut it down to maybe four or five hours total.” 

“Uhh...yeah, I can swing it. Gives me an excuse to catch up on my finger painting.” Leon deadpanned. 

Jay gave a long sigh of relief, “Thank you so much, we owe you a million.” 

“And don't you forget it. Now let me get back to kickin' some ass and I'll catch up with you for the details later.”

\- -   
After Kyle's nap, Papa carried him out to the couch where Daddy was waiting with a small package wrapped in blue paper with animal prints. Papa sat down and settled the happy boy on his lap. Kyle popped his pacifier out and handed it to his Daddy. 

“For me?” He squealed. When Daddy nodded, he picked up the present. He turned it over, shook it, knocked on it, and even sniffed it, unaware that Daddy and Papa were grinning at each other over his head. Then he tore it open and saw the front cover of a book with the picture of a baby animal on the front. “Baby!” Kyle exclaimed, pointing at the cover.

“Yea, it's called ZooBorns, and it's all about baby animals.” Daddy said. 

“What dis one?” Kyle was still pointing at the cover. 

“Let's open it up and see.” Papa waited for Kyle to open the book. “It says that is a bat-eared fox.”

“More pease.” Kyle said, leaning against Daddy while Papa turned the pages. He sat with eyes glued to the pages, whispering little comments. “He jus' a baby.” “Dat one yuvs his mommy.” “Shh...dey cozy seepin'.” “Dey so tiny!” They had to read it all the way through twice before Kyle agreed to take a break. 

“Come help us put the food in the cooker for later and then we can go for a walk.” Daddy said. 

“Oookaay.” Kyle sighed. He giggled as Papa tickled his belly and swung him onto his feet and told him, “First climb up on your stool and wash your hands.” 

As the little boy reached for the soap dispenser, nearly sliding off the stool in the process, his Papa held the soap out for him. 

“I can do it!” Kyle insisted, although he allowed Papa to help him just the same. After he dried his hands off on a dish towel and hopped down, held his hands in the air, and chirped, “All clean, now what?” 

“Now we chop the vegetables into big chunks.” Papa pulled a large knife from its perch in the wooden block, and grabbed one of the potatoes that Daddy had already cleaned. “Do you want to help buddy?” 

Kyle pulled a mildly horrified expression and stepped backward, and forgetting that he was on his stool, landed on his bum with a thud. He made a sound of irritation, a 'yeow' like a grumpy cat as he slid himself backward until his back made contact with his Daddy's legs. He wrapped himself around them, burying his face safely in Daddy's warm, muscular thigh. All the while he continued emitting whines of discontent. 

“Cheese and rice!” Papa exclaimed. Kyle flinched because if knives were scary, then big knives were much worse, and Papa being angry was the worst. He twisted himself around until his body was wedged between both of Daddy's legs. Something about that knife felt really bad, and he couldn't think why, but he knew it would hurt a lot to be stuck by it. Just the thought made the scars hurt on his belly, which was weird because he couldn't remember how he had ever gotten those scars, but it all felt so icky and it made his insides shiver. 

Daddy reached down and tried to pull Kyle into his arms, but the little boy was stuck on his legs like a barnacle. “Hey there buddy, can Daddy pick you up?” He waited patiently, watching as the boy lifted his arms up at a snails pace, face still buried against the man's thigh. “Up we go.” Daddy cooed. They neither spoke nor changed his expression, only continuing to whimper as he burrowed himself in the cocoon of Daddy's arms. “Look, your Papa is just fine, he only nicked himself. It was an accident. He's putting a little bandaid on and then he'll be right as rain again.” Kye shook his head and Daddy began humming while he rocked side to side. 

“Shh, there's a boy, don't be scared, everything's just fine. You're okay, Papa is okay, we're all safe. Yeah?” Jay felt Kye nodding, he kissed the top of the boy's head. “Why don't you help Daddy wash the veggies.”

* *  
“We saw bunnies, two bunnies.” Kyle held up his fingers in demonstration. “Dey ate gwass,” he reported in a who would of guessed it manner.

Papa untied the boy's little brown shoe and tugged it off. Kyle popped his hat off and yanked innefectually on his coat zipper. “We saw ice too, Daddy said Jack Frost came to visit an' blew on all da windows.” He gave up on his zipper and let Papa do it for him. 

“Wait'll you hear this.” Jay said to Rob, “Kyle, tell Papa what you said about Jack Frost.” 

The boy tilted his head to the side, “Oh, I fink he musta got a good setta yungs.” Both his daddies chuckled, which was not nice at all because there were gazillions of windows. He stuck out his lower lip and scowled. 

“We're not laughing at you pal. It's only that you're so cute, sometimes you make your daddies giggle.” 

“Kay, up up?” Kyle raised his arms and pasted on a cherubic smile with puppy dog eyes.

“You sure know how to get what you want alright, little man.” Papa said, lifting the boy up to balance him on the side of his hip. “How about we get relax on the coach while Daddy makes us some hot cocoa?”

“Oh I see how it is, I'm being volunteered for all the work while you hog the cuddles. Well in that case is there anything else I can do for your highnesses?” Daddy asked.

“Uh huh, wif 'shellows.” Kyle said. 

Papa tried so hard to hold his laughter in that he reverted to making an odd series of squeaks through his nose. “You asked babe.” 

“Ah the slings and arrows.” He sighed dramatically. 

Having learned from past mistakes, Jay and Rob were determined break the news of their night out sooner rather than later. Jay had half hoped that Leon wouldn't be available, but without a true excuse they couldn't flake out on the wedding of such close friends. So it wasn't any coincidence that the topic came up after Kyle had been taken on an extra long walk, and plied with a beverage which had proven to be at least mildly sedating. They were hoping to sap energy from any sort of meltdown that might, alright would almost definitely, be coming. 

“Hey snugglebear, would it be okay if Uncle Leon to come for a visit this weekend?” Daddy asked. 

Kyle didn't look up from his examination of Papa's fingers, bending and flexing them, making them back into a fist, and repeating the process. He did things like that a lot when he was being cuddled, as though endlessly fascinated with who his Daddies were, or maybe checking to see that they were real. But it amused him and calmed him, so they happily complied with all the poking, squishing, bending, flexing, and investigating. Finally he nodded slowly and yawned. 

“Papa and Daddy have to go to a boring old party, a short one, but we can't take Leon with us. Do you think that you could play with him until we come back?” 

Eyes starting to water, the boy gasped, “What if you forget ta come home?”

“We won't, we have our home saved in the GPS and our address is in the phone book. Plus we've never gone out an not come back home, right?” Daddy tried. 

Kyle's breath hitched, “What if your car breaks?” 

“Then we'll take a taxi and have our car towed to the shop.”

“And live at the shop until they fix it?” Kyle wailed.

“No, we'll come home in the taxi. Pal, we'll come home. We won't forget our house, our car won't break, we won't be stuck at a shop. Nothing will keep us from coming home.” 

“You gonna be hurt, people can punch you.”

“Our friends would never hurt us, but look at us Buddy, people are usually afraid to fight your Papa or me.” 

“But Daddy I know bad stuff gonna happen, I know!”

“We know you feel that way kiddo.” Papa hugged him close, “But that's because you're scared, and being scared of something doesn't mean it will happen. Your mind is giving you ideas that won't happen. I know it's hard to believe, but trust me, we'll all be very safe. You can call us any time you want to. It'll only be for the afternoon, and remember, Uncle Leon will be here.”

As Kyle calmed and started to doze in Rob's arms, he asked, “Papa, do you and Daddy still want me.” 

Papa stroked his hair, “Yea sweetie, we love you and we'll always want you.” 

* *   
Kyle was singing a nonsense song while lining up his LEGO men when the doorbell rang. He knew he wasn't supposed to answer the door, but he didn't know where Papa or Daddy were, so he ran to get it anyway. He twisted the knob, but the door only opened a crack before stopping hard. Above his head was chain holding the door closed. That would have been bothersome had it happened any other day, being obviously much too far from his reach. Today it was a gift, because he took one look at Uncle Leon's smiling face, said “Nope!,” and shut the door again. It was harsh, but Uncle Leon would thank him when he learned how it was all to keep his Daddies safe. 

His LEGO playing was interrupted a second time when he heard Daddy's 'you're in trouble' voice. “Kyle, why didn't you tell us that Uncle Leon was here?” 

“He hadda go.” Kyle blushed and focused on the floor. 

“No, he didn't. Come on, I'm letting him in and you need to apologize.” Daddy took his hand and led him to the door, dragging his heels all the way. 

“Hey Leo, thanks again, sorry about that.” Daddy greeted him. 

“Oh, that's fine, and I get it, he's nervous.” 

“It was still rude. Kyle, what do you say?” 

“I 'polodize Unca 'Eon” 

“It's okay buddy.” He held up a big colorful bag from a nearby toy store. “Want to see what I brought you?”

“Uh huh.” Kyle climbed up on the couch, trying to get a peek inside. 

“Not yet, we have to wait till your Papa and Daddy leave. They'll be surprised when they get home and see.” 

With Kyle's curiosity piqued, Leon successfully turned Rob and Jay's departure into a watery eyed, but not overly tearful ordeal. After watching and waving from the window until their car was too far to see, Kyle was eager to open his present. It turned out to be lots of little presents, which he spread out on his playmat. There were funky looking toy eyeglasses, two big silly straws (the curly kind), a cops & robbers playset, play money, a blue Doc McStuffins bath towel with the words “I prescribe a cuddle!” 

* *   
Jay and Rob assumed things were going well when they hadn't heard anything in 2 hours. It was nearly time for the wedding ceremony, so they called home in the hope that in doing so they'd reduce the chances of having to step out. 

“Hello guys, everything good?” 

“The hors d'oeuvres aren't bad, venue is alright, people don't suck.” Rob shrugged, “How's Kyle? Is he okay? I forgot he might not tell you if he has an accident, but if you ask him then he'll tell you. He knows where all of his pull-ups and diapers are and he'll say so if he wants to do it himself.” 

“Rob, we are great. In fact, we're having so much fun it should be illegal.” 

Rob heard giggling in the background and shook his head, handing the phone to Jay. “I can't reason with him.” 

“Leo, what did you do to exasperate Mr. Unflappable here?” Jay asked.

“Told him we were having fun.” Leon said, nonplussed. 

“Oh. Huh. Really?” Jay sounded surprised, and maybe a hint disappointed. 

“Yep, Kyle do you wanna say hi?” The phone emitted shuffling sounds for a moment. “Hi Daddy, hi Papa! Come home?”

“Well, we have to stay for about an hour more, and then we have an hour drive. So we'll see you around 8 pm, okay?” 

“Kay, don' get punched.” 

“I promise not to get hurt and so does Papa.” 

Jay hung up and turned to Rob, “He's okay. I wasn't...I mean I'm glad, but I wasn't expecting that.”

“I know, it kinda stings. I'm so used to being needed, we're always by his side. I guess I thought he'd, I don't know...fall apart, and we'd go rushing back.” Rob agreed.

“Me too. But we're always there right? So I guess he trusts in our promises.” 

They drank to that and followed the crowd being herded to the main event. 

* *

The door cracked open at 7:45. Leon looked up from his laptop, pressed a couple of buttons, and stood up to greet Jay and Rob. Kyle was on the couch out like a light, mouth open, drool wetting his pillow. 

“He made me swear on penalty of 'hope to die and stick a needle in my eye' that I'd wake him up as soon as you got back.” Leo whispered. 

“Well, that sounds like a die hard commitment then.” Rob knelt down and kissed Kyle's forehead. “Wakey wakey snugglebutton.” 

“Huh?” The boy rubbed at his face as his eyes opened. “Papa? Papa! You came back for me!” He squished Rob's head in a hug and then insisted on doing the same to Jay. 

Leon went back to his laptop, set up the desired program, and turned the computer so the others could view it. “Kyle and I have prepared a little something. A film entitled, entirely by Kyle I might add, “Nah Nah, Poo Poo, We Had More Fun Than You.” 

“Oh you're in for it now, pal” Daddy picked Kyle up and blew a raspberry on his belly. He held the boy snuggly in his lap and pressed play. 

What followed were a series of 10 second long clips accompanied by the Bruno Mars, “The Lazy Song.” 

*Kyle lounging on top of his new towel, with toy sunglasses on, arms over his head, sipping from a drink through his curly straw.

*Leon standing behind the kitchen island wearing an apron with Kyle seated across from him. A row of mostly empty drinking glasses beside them, and Kyle slapping is palm on the counter. Leon was crossing his arms and shaking his head. 

*Kyle seated at a low table, a card game set up with his stuffed animals. First he slid all his money in the pot, then he picked up his stuffed frog and shook it before grabbing a handful of money and swiping everything else off the table. 

*Leon shaking his head while handcuffing Kyle's wrists. Then Kyle stepping away, swinging the handcuffs over his head to reveal that he'd unlocked them, and then running out of view. 

Rob and Jay laughed through the entirety of it and then insisted on watching it again. Kyle had buried was beaming. 

“Well pal, I can't argue, it looks like you had a lot more fun than us.” Daddy said, planting a wet kiss cheek.


	33. Tough Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullies are best when they're put in their place.

Jay swayed his hips to the 'Eighties Hour' on the radio, abandoning a tee shirt mid-fold in order to belt the chorus of 'Somebody to Love' into a pair of tube socks. He was just getting into his impromptu routine, falling on his knees and pretending to pray when he was interrupted by an blaring emergency alert. Assuming it was just a routine test of the system, he turned the radio down, mumbling about the lack of respect for the memory of Freddie Mercury. When he turned the sound back up, it was right on cue as Freddie sang, 'Got no feel, I got no rhythm, I just keep losing my beat.' Jay resumed folding laundry, remarking, “Don't worry Freddie, that ruined my rhythm too.” He was interrupted a few minutes later when the phone rang. 

“Hey babe, we're on our way home from the movie. I just heard the weather alert and thought I'd fill up on gas and groceries while we're out. Anything I can pick up for you?” Rob asked. 

“Oh shoot, what's the forecast?” 

“The usual, a few days of heavy rain and tropical storm level winds. Figured I'd get some batteries, bags of ice, and stock up on supplies for Kye. Could you fill up our water containers and charge our devices?” 

“No problem, drive safely love.” Jay said, hanging up. 

\- - 

Kyle woke up expecting to be in the driveway at home, instead he saw a busy parking lot full of overstuffed shopping carts. “Papa, I wanna be hooome.” he whined. 

“I know sweetie, we'll be as quick we can. You can help me out and pick a book to read incase the power goes out, yeah?” Rob offered while unbuckling Kyle from his car seat and running his fingers through the little guy's sleep mussed hair. He helped the sleepy boy out of the car and kept an arm around him, knowing first hand how tipsy he was while waking. As soon as he'd grabbed a cart, he put both of Kyle's hands on it, “Okay bud, you're job is to help me push. Can you do that?” 

“Yuh huh.” Kyle mumbled with a faint nod of his head. 

“Right, first things first. We'll get the ice, the batteries, and the baby stuff. That's what everyone will be going after.” Rob narrated, guiding the cart this way and that to avoid distracted shoppers. He was tossing some bags of ice in the cart when he realized Kyle was trying to get his attention. 

“Pssst, psssst.” Kyle called. “Eggs for squrrelin', pease.” 

“Oh, right. Can't forget scrambled eggs, good thinkin' pal.” Papa reached out and grabbed a carton of eggs at random, checking they were all intact.

“Noo, not!” Kye tried to push the carton closed. 

“Okay, okay, what kind do you want? The brown ones?” Papa picked up another carton. 

“Noo, noo, no!” the poor kid was unnaturally adamant. Then he started pointing up top, to the highest shelf where the most expensive eggs were. 

“Alright, I'm trying here kiddo, be patient with me. Are these the ones then.” Papa held out a container that was made from recycled plastic, featuring pictures of happy hens, and labeled 'cage free.' He watched as Kyle inspected the container, finally nodding his approval. 

Papa sighed with relief, sensing they'd averted a small meltdown. “Awesome, then we'll get two dozen of these lovely 'cage free,' 'vegetarian fed,' 'free roaming,' 'certified humane' eggs.”

Kyle nodded gravely and grabbed a fistful of his Papa's shirt tail, “Come on, my little bleeding heart liberal, let's get our shopping done. They wove through busy aisles, Kyle clung to his Papa's side. It was sometimes strange for Rob to see how compliant the boy could be. He wished that there was a way to urge him to argue, get in trouble, make a mess, or...well, he didn't know. When he was younger, Rob remembered his mother constantly shaking her head at him and saying, “Did you think rules were made to be broken, Bobby?” He was always the kid who knew exactly what he could get away with. He was confident, comfortable in his own skin in a way that drew others to him naturally.

“Papa, what's so funny? I can get the glitter?” Kyle whined, pointing at a crayon boxes hanging from a high shelf. 

“Hmm? You want sparkly crayons. Sure, we can get whatever kind you like.” Rob took a box down and handed it to Kyle, who carefully inspected it. 

“So why laughin'? Were you thinkin' 'bout Eggs and Fish from da movie. They were funny. I'ma be Eggs an' you be Fish an' Daddy be Shoe.” 

“Just thinking buddy. So, you want to play pretend Boxtrolls when we get home?” 

“Yea, you wanna? Gonna be fuuun.” Kyle sang, smiling up at his Papa. 

Rob chuckled warmly, “Sure pal. Come on let's get in this check out line before it gets any longer.” As they advanced through the line Rob started placing items on the conveyor belt while Kyle grew distracted by a display of ice cream flavored lollipops, though he was really more interested in their colors than the flavors. He picked one that was dark brown, hopeful it would taste chocolatey and twirled it between his fingers while absently reaching out to grab the back of his Papa's shirt to ask if he could buy it. No sooner had he grasped the material than he felt it ripped from his hand. 

“What the hell is your problem, you freak?!!” A skinny man yelled, smacking Kyle's hand away. The guy looked nothing like Papa, wearing a faded Duck Dynasty tee shirt and worn jeans. The man's lips were twisted into a sneer, while one dirty and overly tattooed arm blocked Kyle from moving past him. “Back of the line asshole!” he growled. 

Kyle was frozen with mortification and fear, the only movement he seemed able to make was a slight tightening of his throat as a squeaky whimper escaped. Then he saw Papa step into view, looking even taller than Kyle thought he was. Papa's face was red, his eyes fixed on the mean, nasty man, and the muscles of his jaw tensed. It would have been scary, except Papa had never ever hurt hurt him, but the mean guy moved backwards, kinda like he was being challenged by a wild animal. 

“What did you just say?” Rob ground out. 

“Dude, I wasn't talking about you.” The man held up his palms, emitting a nervous chuckle. “Some pervy kid just tried to grab my ass.”

Kyle watched as Papa started taking all of the man's items off the conveyor belt, dropping them back into the man's basket. “You're gonna apologize. Then you're gonna pick another line.” Papa kept staring straight into the other man's eyes. When the guy just stood there making rapid swallowing motions. Papa looked him up and down slowly, as if to affirm that the guy had all the guts of an ant, then said, “I'm waiting.” 

“Okay, okay...sorry dude. I'm fuckin' outta here.” The man just about elbowed Kyle in his effort to back up. Papa was still unsatisfied, he snagged the man's shopping cart, “Not to me. To him.” he ordered.

“Sorry!” The man griped, far from sincere and shuffled away with his head down. Kyle didn't care though, he just wanted his Papa to hold him and he reached up his arms to request just that. And Papa was the best because after all that, he handed the cashier a wad of bills, told her to keep the change, and lifted Kyle into his arms. He supported the boy with one hand while pushing the groceries toward the car with the other, all the while cooing to his little boy. 

“You're a good boy, you know that? Some people are mean and they will always be bullies who pick on people with big hearts.” Rob explained while he buckled Kyle into his seat. 

“S'why you got big muscles Papa.” Kyle said matter-of-factly, gripping his Papa's well defined forearm to illustrate his point. 

“It's one reason, kiddo. You sure you're okay?” 

“Uh huh, but jus' for sure, me an' you an' Daddy maybe have snuggles when we get home.” 

Papa kissed his forehead, “Excellent idea, sweetie pie.” 

Kyle grinned, because yea, it was a pretty excellent idea.


	34. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out Kye isn't the only one who isn't a fan of thunder.
> 
> It is all the fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little side-tracked, but this is what I wrote right before I got sick, so it's a little shorter than planned, but it's what happens during the storm.
> 
> I posted this after I posted the next chapter, I explained in the note attached to that chapter that I have been gone because I was in the hospital. Basically the timeline was, get sick; think I'm fine; realize I'm sick; end up in the hospital; stay there forever; finally get discharged but still have to go for follow ups for 6 weeks and I'm still not 100% better. 
> 
> Leave some love and go easy on me. I hope the double update makes you smile. 
> 
> <3

The family was curled up on the couch watching Fern Gully, Kyle had never watched it before, when the sky darkened. Wind gusts sent sheets of rain flying sideways, and treetops twisted, the pale underside of their leaves were turned to face the blue green sky. The first sign of the impending lightning was some distant rumbling. Rob and Jay exchanged a look, somewhere in their unspoken interchange they agreed it was time to unplug their electronics. 

“Papa needs to turn off the TV. Do you want to keep watching this on the laptop?” Daddy asked. Kyle nodded, inserting his thumb in his mouth and leaning against his Daddy. By the time that the movie was set up on the laptop, the first big crack of lightning hit. 

Kyle jumped and crawled all the way onto Daddy's lap, squealing out an 'eep!'” 

Papa reached over and pat Kyle on the top of his head. Chuckling, he said, “Aww, it's nothing. We're inside, you're safe.” To his surprise, the boy pushed his hand away with a whine of irritation. 

“Not nuffin' Pah-pa! Be good or I gonna shrink you yike Zak.” Kyle stuck out his bottom lip gave his Papa the fiercest face he could muster. The look was rendered ineffectual when another crack and rumble boomed outside caused Kyle to yelp and bury his head in the crook of his Daddy's arm. 

“I know, I only meant that nothing can hurt you here in the house. The lightning can't hurt you and the thunder is only the sound that the lightning makes. You're right here between your big, strong daddies.” Papa blew a raspberry against Kyle's side and was rewarded with nothing but a whiney groan. 

As the next burst of thunder raged close enough to feel the vibrations through the floor, Kyle's butt turned up in the air and he burrowed his head down between the couch cushions. 

Daddy patted his little bum, “Oh, not under there sweetheart, it's all yucky. Come up here and give us a cuddle, you can hide under the blankie.”

“No, you yucky Dah-dee! 'Sides, I got my bes' cyayon down dere.” Kyle said, pulling his head out to stick his tongue out and push ineffectually against Daddy's chest. 

“What's gotten into you, naughty boy? I know the storm is scary, but that's no reason to be rude.” Before he could catch himself, Jay was sticking his tongue out back at Kyle. 

Rob shot a disapproving glare at his partner and signaled toward the kitchen with a tilt of his head. Jay shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes before sighing and conceding. Kyle's head was still buried in the couch, piling pillows on top of himself and grumbling incoherently. Jay hissed a whisper at Rob, “Are you pissed at me now?” 

“No, babe. I thought I'd better pull you out before you said something you'd regret.” Rob said, taking a hold of Jay's shoulder and looking him seriously in the eye. 

“He's the one that's acting all...” Jay waved an arm in frustration. 

“Yes?” Rob raised an eyebrow at his younger partner, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze.

“He's being...he's being so unreasonable, and grumpy...and like a...” 

“A child?” Rob questioned.

Jay rubbed the back of his neck, throwing Rob a sheepish look. “Well, when you say it that way... Why is this bothering me so much?” 

The corners of Rob's eyes crinkled with his warm smile, “You hate storms, hon. This is the first time you've had to deal with a big storm without having my undivided attention. You've never had to deal with Kye having a meltdown while trying to hold yourself together. I think that he can sense your fear too, and you were starting to feed off each other.” He watched Jay breathe a sigh of relief. “Why don't you rock Kye in the chair while I read you both a story. Hmm?” 

Jay breathed deeply, looked over at Kyle's little bum sticking in the air, and exhaled slowly. “Sorry, babe.”

“Hey now, no apologies. I don't expect you to get over being struck by lightening, that's not something I expect you to ever forget.” Rob rubbed Jay's arms just roughly enough to be comforting without hurting. 

The younger man couldn't help but roll his eyes, “I wasn't struck by lightening, I was briefly knocked unconscious and mildly burned by a shock from touching the root of a tree while mountain climbing.” 

Rob shook his head in bemusement, "Only you would put it like that, so stop and let me validate your emotions, since you're not able to do that for yourself just now. Whether you think it's rational or not, you're naturally going to feel unsettled in this weather. I have a hunch that you feel worried about Kye too, afraid you won't be able to keep him safe.” At this Rob watched Jay bit his lip and shrugged, relaxing fractionally. “Let it go, I can take care of both my boys tonight.” 

Back on the couch, Kyle was making a very loud chorus of, 'La la la, la la la, laaa, laa, la la la laa!,' which gave the impression that he was playing a game of 'I can't hear you' with the storm. 

“Okay my baby boy, up we go.” Papa slung an arm around Kyle's waist and lifted him free from his pile of pillows, like a little ostrich having it's head reluctantly plucked from the sand. This little ostrich was still covering his ears and making a lot of noise. Rob had to lean back at an awkward angle to gather the curled up boy into his arms, narrowly avoiding getting a protruding elbow to his nose. He had to chuckle at the ridiculousness of their position as he took small sideways steps so that he could see his way to the nursery. 

Jay followed after collecting their tablet, a large pair of headphones, and a soft blanket. He settled into the rocking chair while Rob waited with Kyle, lightly swaying him side to side. It took some adjustments, but eventually they were settled. Daddy had Kyle on his lap, a blanket wrapped around them both, with his arms on top of Kyle's to prevent him from holding his hands over his ears. They'd managed to get him to tolerate having the noise canceling earphones on, though he was complaining too loudly to understand why he had them on. Papa had them plugged into the tablet and queued up a simple sound recording app and set it for headset playback. He opened the book and started to read.

Kyle had been making as much noise as he could stand, so that he could block out all the noise that he couldn't stand. He had just gotten into a somewhat tolerable position, head buried and ears covered, when he was unceremoniously plucked from his hidey hole. Instead of struggling, he retained his curled up position, refusing to uncover his ears in order to cling to Papa. (He knew it was Papa because he could smell coconut hand lotion.) He did struggle when Daddy tried to make him take his hands from his ears, and would have continued if he could have. Something big and soft covered each of his ears; he tried to ignore it and focused on continuing to make lots of noise. It took a moment for him to realize that Papa's voice was coming through loud and clear. He heard, “A bear? On Paddington station?...Don't be silly, Henry. There can't be!” 

Rob saw Kyle's head pop up in delighted surprise. “Can you hear Papa?” he asked. The boy smiled and nodded. “Good. With those on you can hear me because I'm talking right into the speaker, but everything else will be much quieter. We can have our story without worrying about the storm, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Kyle whispered, mouth hanging open as he studied Papa. He must have been satisfied with what he saw, because he popped his thumb into his mouth and leaned back against Daddy, wiggling in his special way that meant he was ready to be rocked. 

The rocking helped to calm Jay and holding Kyle helped him to feel like he was keeping the boy safe, even if he logically knew they weren't in any danger to begin with. He let Rob's voice settle over him, closing his eyes and focusing on the sensation of moving forward and back.


	35. What's eating you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob and Jay start to see some unusual behavior from Kye, but can't get a handle on what caused the sudden change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!   
> I'm sorry for my absence, and I won't go into details, but I was in the hospital for a long time. Even now, I'm feeling better but not yet my same old self. It was pretty serious and I just didn't have the energy for writing, although I did a lot of brainstorming (and listening to audiobooks, and doing jigsaw puzzles, cause hospitals are boooring.)
> 
> So without further ado, here's the first installment of what I've brainstormed since I've been laid up. 
> 
> <3

For a few days all was calm with the little family, everyone settled into their now familiar routines. Rob and Jay's days were split between looking after Kyle and working in their home office. They'd set up a healthy life, one that was both physically and emotionally nourishing. The kitchen was always stocked with healthy foods, a variety of fruit, bright fresh vegetables, lean meats and fish, whole grains, and mildly sweetened snacks. Kyle was insistent upon exercising with his daddies, crawling out of his play area and wandering incautiously around the heavy equipment. Rob and Jay consulted with Leon about letting the still slender boy exercise, mainly concerned that he would only lose weight. Leon was optimistic about the idea, explaining that the extra physical activity might trigger the boy's appetite. Soon enough, Kyle was surprised by an indoor trampoline with a handlebar and a child sized stationary bicycle; Kyle loved it. Jay took a video of him bouncing on the little trampoline, chanting, “up...down...up...down,” except it came out more like, “hhhup...dow...hhhup...dow.” The change wasn't drastic, but Kye's appetite did increase a bit and it was easier to get him to sleep at night. 

The hammer struck on a Saturday morning. Jay was raking leaves in the backyard. Kyle wanted to help, but he was in the middle of a cold and the last thing he needed was to tax his body further. Rob worked at his drafting table while Kyle sat cross-legged by his feet, playing with a dollhouse. The little guy was mumbling a stream of syllables that were unintelligible to Rob, more so with Kyle's stuffed up nose, but it carried the tones and rhythm of a conversation, though interrupted by frequent sniffles. It was achingly adorable to watch the two daddy dolls take care of the baby. The dolls only ever did things that Kyle had experienced first hand in their home, but it was a start and their psychologist said that this was a sign that their boy was internalizing healthy, nurturing interactions. 

Kyle sniffed loudly and Rob looked down just in time to catch him in the midst of using his sleeve to wipe his nose. Ruffling the boy's hair, Rob said, “Aww, don't get your shirt icky buddy. You'll make your skin sore like that. Why don't you go bring Papa the tissue box and pick out a clean shirt from the basket of clean laundry I left on the couch? Can you do that or do you need Papa's help?” 

Kye beamed up at his Papa's warm voice and replied proudly, “Me! I do.” He waited for Papa's approving smile before crawling (his preferred method for getting around) out to the hall. He moved slowly, his throat too scratchy for anything that would get him breathing heavily. The laundry basket was on the coffee table, clothes folded neatly with shirts on top. He chose a very soft shirt that he normally only wore to bed, it was bright yellow with a picture of a t-rex with his arms outstretched, the caption below read, “I love you this much!” He rubbed the soft fabric against his cheek, then snatched up the box of tissues and turned back around. There, under the mail slot in the front door, was a bright red envelope just the right shape for a greeting card. Curious, he crawled over and turned the envelope right side up. What he saw made his heart stop. The return address label was decorated with a confederate flag. He hadn't seen it in years, but there was no mistaking where it came from. RJ and Amy Lynne had found him. 

He waited for the white hot flames spread over his body, to feel like his insides were going to explode, and for a second his chest seized and he felt surrounded by darkness, but then it passed. I'm fine, I'm okay, I don't feel anything. 

Rob was so engrossed in his work that he'd lost track of time, but he was sure that at least ten minutes had passed. He got up and peeked down the hall, “Kye, where'd you go little man?” 

Kyle sat up and looked around as if waking from a haze, he saw his items next to him on the rug and collected them up, crawling back toward Papa. “Got dis and dis, okay Papa?” Kyle said soberly as he held up the shirt and kleenex. 

“Perfect, buddy bear.” Papa cooed, lifting him into his arms. “Let's go to your room, it's about time for a change anyhow. Now, let's see what we've got here.” He picked up the shirt with his free hand, “Oh, you wanna wear your cozy dino shirt?” He didn't get a response, and then realized why when he felt Kyle sucking on the shoulder of his shirt, and decided to walk him around the house for a bit. By the time they made it back to the nursery Rob saw that his little boy was half asleep, making little snuffling noises. He smiled down at his sweet boy and murmured reassurances while changing him as gently as he could. Checking his watch, Rob decided that it wasn't too late for Kyle to have a short nap, especially while fighting a cold. Just as he was walking away, Rob heard plaintive whining coming from the crib. 

“Nuh uh Papa, I not seepyyyy!” Kyle whimpered, sticking out his bottom lip. 

“Kye, you're exhausted, try to rest your eyes.” Rob said, pausing in the doorway.

“Nuh no!” Kyle exclaimed. He rose onto his knees and began bouncing hard, pounding them onto his mattress. “I. not. Seeeeepyyy!” He rattled the bars of the crib for emphasis. 

Rob's first thought was that maybe Kyle was sicker than he had seemed. “Do you feel icky or have some owies?” He asked, smoothing back the boy's hair. 

“Noooo.” He fell back on his pillow, covering his eyes with the arm that wasn't occupied with pounding the mattress. To say that he was unimpressed when Papa stuck the thermometer in his ear would have been a gross understatement. Papa didn't sound too happy either, because he was saying, “Well, you don't have a fever, and I don't understand what's got you so upset.” 

Kyle only kicked his feet in response. Rob tried to think, a none to easy task with the way that the little guy was carrying on. Jay would be outside for another half hour in all likelihood, so waiting for him was impractical. If he left the room, Kyle might get himself worked up even more, but it was honestly beginning to seem that the boy was going to be distraught no matter what Rob did. He settled on a middle-of-the-road option and went to fill a bowl with ice cold water. 

Pausing to take a breath, Kyle looked up and saw that Papa was gone. Papa was gone! He was gone and he was never coming back. The bad people were going to take him far away, they were going tell Papa and Daddy lies, and Papa and Daddy would believe Kyle was bad and they'd give him back. He brought his hands up to cover his ears and cried loud enough to drown out the thoughts. But the louder that he was, the louder the thoughts got, and one thought chased the other round and round his head. Something cold was on the back of his neck, something cold and wet, and off in the distance he heard a deep, warm voice. Why had he been upset? Now he couldn't remember, though his stomach was still in knots. The cloth, he could tell that's what it was now, was wiping over his forehead, cleaning the tears from his eyes, and finally wiping up his nose. He heard whispers over his head;

“Do you want to take a sec...?” 

“I could use a … to … if you don't mind.” 

“No, of course...wish you'd told me.” 

“I don't... if … something I did.”

“.... don't blame … just one of those thing...”

It was only as he was being handed over to Daddy that Kyle realized he had been clinging, white knuckled, onto Papa. He didn't struggle, letting Daddy hold him tight as his breathing slowed. “Do you need another change, pal?”

Of course he didn't need a change, he'd just been changed. He was fine, Daddy was wrong cause he didn't know that Papa already took care of it. That's why he locked his legs together when Daddy tried to take off his pull-up. “Uh uhhh,” he whined. 

“Daddy will be quick, but you're all wet and you don't want a rash, hmm?” Daddy tickled the bottom of his foot. 

Kyle nodded, his face relaxing from its scrunched up pout. 

“That's my good boy.” Daddy cooed.


	36. Back in his shell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kye's daddies have to decide how to handle his deepened regression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,   
> I've been trying to find a good place to break off a chapter to post, but I finally caved when I realized that there might not be an ideal point to split chapters up for a while. 
> 
> Also, thanks so much to all who have been so supportive. 
> 
> I never really thought I'd ask this, or even have to ask, but to the very few who have written/emailed something less than supportive, please know that I put a lot of effort into this story and negative comments can get me down. So please be nice : )
> 
> Another update should come within a day or two.

Kyle woke several times, never for more than a minute or two. He tried to sit up and made it a few inches before his muscles protested too much. His mouth was dry, but he fell back to sleep too quickly to do anything about it. Another time, maybe the second, maybe the third, his hand grazed the edge of something cold and he turned slightly to grab for it. He recognized what it was at once, Daddy or Papa often left him a bottle while he slept, and he brought the tip to his lips, sucking down the cool apple juice with a sigh. 

When he finally woke with enough energy to sit up, Kyle leaned against the bars of his crib, closed his eyes, and drifted away, skimming the surface of sleep. He woke when he heard his door swish against the carpet, followed by Daddy's soft voice, “Hey sweet boy, I thought you were still sleeping, you haven't made a peep.” 

Kye looked up at Daddy with doe eyes full of trust. He pulled his thumb into his mouth and half-sucked, half-nibbled on it, delivering a hum that could have been plaintive or curious, Daddy couldn't tell which. The little boy stayed pliant while Daddy lifted him from the crib. 

“We have an appointment with our friend Dr. Anderson, so we're gonna get all ready to go.” He smiled down at Kye as he spoke, “And it's going to be chilly and wet out, so we're gonna wear our long sleeves and raincoat.” Jay pulled out a light sweater and cotton undershirt. He handed the undershirt to Kye, who usually did this part rather independently, and went about gathering supplies and little items to stash in their Daddy bag. Tossing in an extra diaper and a book made of soft cloth, he turned his attention back to the boy sitting on the floor in his undershirt...only he wasn't in his undershirt, he was still naked, save for his diaper, and was gnawing on the nipple of his bottle. For an instant Jay was so thrown that he had to remember to take a breath. A subtle softening of his features, the relaxed muscles, the admiration in his eyes, all revealed that some shift had happened in the little boy's mind. Sensing that his handling of the situation was critical, Jay made the decision to just go with it, no questions asked (at least until they were with the psychologist). 

\- - 

Kyle was scowling at the doctor who, after some time, he'd come to know as 'Mr. Jake.' There were lots of nice things about Mr. Jake; he smiled a lot, played games, sang songs, and never said a mean thing. Right then though, he wanted nothing more than to go home and hide under his covers. 

Mr. Jake smiled and turned toward Papa, “Since the letter came, right?” 

Out of the corner of his eyes Kyle saw Papa nod, “Yes, it was unopened...I'm sure of it. Like I said, we...” at this he waggled his thumb between himself and Daddy, “... read the whole of it, but there's no way the little one did.”

Letting out a wail he'd unconsciously been holding back, Kye reached up a hand and tried to cover his Papa's mouth. He was thwarted by a much bigger hand brushing his aside, and all the big people kept on talking. Kyle tried to squirm out of Papa's arms, alternately grumbling and whining with the effort. 

“We've seen him regressed pretty far before, or at least we've seen him non-verbal, but something feels different now. I can't explain it.” Daddy added. 

Enough was enough, Kyle was ready to go back to his crib and hide in there forever and ever. Since he couldn't, he twisted around, butt momentarily in the air, then pulled up his Papa's shirt and stuck his head inside. It was warm, darkly tinted through the black cotton, the scents of fresh laundry and soap tickled his nose, and when he leaned his head down he could hear Papa's heartbeat. Then came the steady, deep rumbling of Papa's voice, “Could you pass me the little blue blanket that's in the baby bag, hon?” Some movement and a 'thank you' were followed by a sweetly coaxing coo. “Come on out little man. Papa will let you curl up and then wrap you in your blankie.” 

It was warm enough in the office that Kyle might have been sweat-soaked, wrapped up like he was, but he was such a skinny little thing that the extra warmth contented him. Rob let him ball up a corner of the blanket, permitting him to furiously mouth it while babbling muffled syllables. Jay shrugged and whispered in a direction halfway between his husband and the therapist, “I don't think he wants to listen to any of this.” 

Rob watched for Dr. Anderson's reply, which was a small nod of agreement. “I've been doing this a while now, and one lesson I've learned is that a little one instinctively regresses to the state that they need to be in to heal. I hear what you're saying; he's had a period of mutism since coming into your care, and it's logical to make the connection to what you've already seen. If that was the only change with him, I'd probably assume the same. Right now I'm observing the kind of behavior that fits closer to a young toddler, versus the more vocal and further advanced toddler.” He took a slow, deep breath, holding up one hand, “Before you start worrying, let me reassure you that this is well within the typical range of reactions I'd expect to see. All he needs you to do is to go on loving him, offering care and comfort, and keep his environment as age-appropriate to his mindspace as you can.” 

“I'm worried about making things worse for him. I never know whether I should be encouraging more independence, helping him build accomplishments, rather than coddling him.” Jay said, doubt creeping in almost immediately afterward, “I know I sound like a terrible caretaker.” 

The therapist shook his head, “Not at all, you're judging yourself harshly, and I hear some perfectionism in there. I can't tell you if you're doing everything the right way, because last I checked they weren't making little instruction manuals for life like they do for IKEA furniture.” He paused to chuckle with Rob and Jay. “How do you think he would have handled this situation if you weren't in the picture? This is trust, a deeply instinctive response, and it's his way of telling you that he needs a lot of care and comfort. Respond in kind, let your own instincts guide you. Jay, you just offered Rob a blanket, and Rob you wrapped Kye in it, you're holding him in your arms. How did either of you know to do that?”

“It's just what you do, right? If you can see someone is distressed and you know how to help, then you do: it's that simple.” Rob reasoned. 

“Well but how did you know what would work? Neither of you can read minds.” 

“In our experience, he does well with physical affection, plus he sometimes calms when we have him practically swaddled in blankets.” Jay gently ran the back of his finger down Kyle's cheek, and was rewarded with a sigh.

“Let me make sure I've got this right. You use your experience to gauge his needs, which certainly requires some empathizing, and then you use prior experience to determine how to respond.”

Rob scratched his chin and Jay blushed, but it was Rob who spoke, “We can trust our instincts then?” 

Dr. Anderson smirked, “I trust you, Kyle trusts you, and you trust one another. Try not to equate him regressing with you having made a mistake. Our brains know how to heal themselves, our bodies know what they need. While you two take responsibility for more of Kyle's basic needs, and make more decisions for him, his mind is able to process what it needs to while free from the stresses and distractions of adult life. My only suggestion would be to provide him with an array of toys and objects for varying levels of development. When he's in the mindset of a young toddler you'll want to keep it to simpler toys or clothes. Observing what he gravitates toward is also a good way to gauge where his mind is at.” 

They had all assumed that Kye had fallen asleep, but some part of him must have been listening since he chose that moment to take a deep breath and let out a long, relaxed sigh. 

The remainder of the session was mostly wrap up, with Kyle barely stirring as he was carried out to the car.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much all fluff. It's sort of an interlude while I work on some more plotty bits.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friends, I know where the plot is headed, but I could use some ideas to sort of fill out the fluffiness. 
> 
> Ideas, suggestions, requests??

Nothing keeps a person on their toes more than a curious baby does, Rob and Jay were no exception. They had assumed that Kyle's new degree of regression was a means for him to withdraw from the world, but it was soon apparent that the opposite was true. The baby still didn't speak, though he employed a variety of vocalizations including, 'ummm' or 'umm num umm' for 'yum;' 'ah-da' for 'Daddy;' 'ah-pa' for 'Papa;' and 'doh' with a sustained 'oh' sound for 'no.' They couldn't figure out where the last one had come from, but it seemed to make perfect sense to the baby. He also used 'umm' in place of 'yes,' and to ask for his bottle or pacifier. When he wanted to ask a question Kyle always did so with a simple, 'da?' If he needed to be changed, or if he'd made a mess, then he would exclaim 'uh oh!'   
What really changed was his curiosity. The little boy climbed under and behind everything, he tried to take everything apart, opening drawers and containers that he'd never given a second glance before. Although they had to keep a much closer eye on him any time he was awake, Kyle's daddies thought it well worth the effort when they saw how much more happy, giggly, and carefree their little boy had become.

For Kyle time stopped meaning as much to him. Life happened in a steady rhythm with lots of predictability, and he knew his schedule in the sense that he understood the order in which things came (breakfast, brush teeth, playtime, walk time, nap time...and so on) but the date and time lost their relevance. More than ever, he was living in the moment, concerned only with whatever caught his interest and trusting his daddies to take care of the rest. 

Rob and Jay came to terms with their little boy's penchant for playing with just about anything, including dangerous objects, and built a playpen. They had discovered the hard way that Kyle wasn't able to keep himself restricted to the area of his playmat, so they built a large hexagonal playpen. The frame was made from pvc piping, which had the advantage over wood in that there was no risk of the little guy giving himself splinters. The three and a half foot high sides were lined with heavy mesh screening, with the latch toward the bottom of the hinged opening, too far down for Kyle to reach on his own. His first few times in the new playpen, only 5 minutes at the start, the boy spent most of his time trying to escape. As much as they hated seeing him upset, Kyle's daddies had to stifle their giggles when the little guy got so frustrated with his inability to escape that he started gnawing on the plastic frame. He failed to make so much as a scratch and ended up pouting until Papa came to rescue him. Over time though, the playpen became his own little refuge. Even though he was already in the safe care of his daddies, Kyle was still soothed by small, confined spaces. 

Thus, it was by his own request (a combination of pointing and saying “ah dah?”) that Kyle was in his playpen tapping on his rainbow xylophone with a toy banana one night. Rob and Jay sat cross-legged at the coffee table, trading playful jibes over a game of scrabble. Jay was eyeing a hanging Z, waiting for the opportunity to guarantee a win by landing ZIPPERED on a triple letter score and getting bonus points for clearing his letter rack in the process. Rob wasn't terribly enthusiastic about his tiles and was not so subtly attempting to keep his opponent distracted. It was working, between the fingertips walking their way over his shoulder and the foot rubbing against his ankle Jay was expending most of his energy feigning stoicism. 

“Ah pa?” Kyle intoned tentatively. 

Rob twisted around, but couldn't see the boy from his angle. “Yea, baby boy?” 

“Uh ohh, uh ohh!” chirped the little guy. 

“What oh, uh oh? Do you need a change pal?” Papa peeked over the top of the playpen, his smile meeting the boy's bright eyes. 

Kyle was crouched in an awkward position, bum hovering off the ground. He reached a hand up toward his Papa. “Umm,” he hummed. 

“Okay, take my hand and we'll go get you all cleaned up.” He led the way down the hall, Kyle toddling a half step behind. Papa helped him out of his pants and laid out the changing mat, patting it with his palm. “Come lie down and Papa will get you all nice and clean.” The little boy squirmed as his diaper was stripped off. 

“Owie owie ah pa.” Kyle whined, trying to slap away Papa's hands. 

“What's wrong baby boy?” Papa started wiping and saw angry red splotches on Kyle's already sensitive skin. He sucked in his breath with a sympathetic hiss, “Oh sweetie, you waited a long time to ask for a change again.” Thinking that he'd done something bad, the little guy started to tear up, swiping the wetness away with the back of his hand. “Hush now, it's not your fault. You'll be alright, your daddies just need to check on you more often. Do you want me to get Daddy to hold your hand?” 

“Ah da,” Kye whispered. He waited as patiently as he could while Papa went to get Daddy. When they returned, the little boy tilted his head to look up at his Daddy, comforted at the sight of the big, strong man who always made him feel safe. “Ah da!” he sang and reached out his hand. 

Daddy sat down beside Kyle and took hold of his little hands, “There's my good boy. Do you want to sing Junior Birdman while Papa gets you all nice and clean?” 

“Ah,” Kyle nodded, painting on a goofy smile. 

“Up in the air junior birdman...” Daddy booped Kyle's nose. “Flying so high off the ground...” He swung Kyle's hand up and twirled it down to tap his chest. “Is it a bird, plane, or Superman? No, it's junior birdman upside down.” 

When Kyle scowled and let out an irritated whimper Daddy skipped ahead to the chorus. The little boy loved to whisper the number before each verse. He said “fye,” and Daddy sang, “It takes five box tops.” Kyle said “err,” and Daddy sang, “Four box bottoms.” On “eee,” Daddy sang “Three labels.” Kyle said “tah,” and Daddy sang “Two bottle tops.” Finally Kyle said, “wah,” and Daddy sang “aaand one. Thin. Dime!” 

“There we go bud, good as new.” Papa strapped on Kyle's fresh diaper and pulled him up into a hug, kissing him on the top of his head. “You were so good, what do you say to some ice cream?” 

“Umm yumm umm.” Kyle answered, popping his thumb in his mouth, which Daddy quickly replaced with a pacifier. He held Daddy's hand and toddled back to the kitchen, where he was helped up into his booster seat. Papa scooped up three dishes of ice cream, vanilla for himself, butter rum for Daddy, and double chocolate for Kye.

Daddy opened the dish towel drawer and pulled out a royal blue bib with a bright red lettering that spelled out, “Tough like Daddy!” Papa alternated taking a bite of his own ice cream and feeding bites to Kyle. By the time they were finished, their little boy had ice cream all over his chin and nose, and a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Junior Birdman," we used to sing it around the campfire all the time, and you can find a bunch of versions on youtube if you want to hear the melody.


	38. Cooking up something new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little interlude, 100% fluff, and an eensy teensy bit of hurt/comfort. 
> 
> :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!! 
> 
> This is to thank you all for the great suggestions!
> 
> You are the BEST!!!
> 
> :-)
> 
> <3

Kye was scooting around in his kiddie car, pushing his legs against the floor to propel himself all around the house. Papa had tied the ladder of a little firetruck to the back of Kye's car and it was just the right size for Turtie to ride on. He followed Daddy, watching him put clean clothes in all the bureaus, hanging fresh towels in the bathroom and kitchen. Kye knew this routine, which meant he was happy because the next part was the best; it was snacktime! He was shout-singing a chorus of, “Yum, yum, yum, yum, _yummmmm_ umm, yum,” just in case Daddy forgot what was next. 

“Oh, what's it time for now?,” Daddy teased, “Should we take a nap?” 

Kyle shook his head back and forth with vigor, causing his slightly grown out hair to wave around wildly. “Nnnn , _nnnoo_ no nooo, Ah-Da!” he giggled. 

Daddy snapped his fingers, popping up his index finger, “Hmm, maybe we should eat a big bowl of brussels sprouts!” 

“No!” Kye tumbled into a fit of laughter. 

“Oookay, well I could make grilled cheese?” 

Kyle jumped up, hugging Daddy around his waist, eyes gazing up to him, “Yeah, yuuuumy!” He bounced his head against Daddy's belly and was rewarded with a big hand rustling his hair. Jumping down to the floor, Kyle crawled to his step stool to set it up so he could watch Daddy cook. Grilled cheese was the best cause Daddy sang a silly song when he cooked. He carefully observed as Daddy pulled of the child safety cover from the stovetop, selected a pan from the hooks hanging above the oven, and set it down. Out came the pieces of bread, (the brown kind, which was definitely the best), and Daddy spread butter on each one. 

He started singing in the voice of Elmer Fudd:

_wowk so vewy hawd aww day wong._  
I stawt to dweam of you befowe I get home.  
Gwiwwed Cheese...  
I hope you'we weady.  
'Cause we got a date.  
I just can't wait to get home and put you on my pwate.  
Gwiwwed Cheese... Sandwich...  
The buttew will stawt mewting when I wight the fwame.  
'Cause the buttew and the cheese awe gonna pway a wittwe game.  
It's cawwed mewting...  
On the bwead.  
Don't need a burgew, don't need no shake.  
I'll waugh in ya face if you offew me cake.  
Don't waste my time with ya bwussel spwouts.  
If you make me a steak, I'ww just thwow it out.  
I want a Gwiwwed Cheese...  
(Gwiwwed Cheese)  
Not a BLT...  
(Gwiwwed Cheese)  
Awe ya fowwowing me?  
(Gwiwwed Cheese)  
I wove more than any othew.  
I think I'm gonna make anothew.  
Gwiwwed, gwiwwed, gwiwwed, gwiwwed Cheese,  
If you pwease. 

Bopping his head, Kyle slipped down from his stool, holding on to the edge of the counter for support, and made his way over to help Daddy. He'd never helped with grilled cheese before, so he'd learn somethin' new, and Daddy and Papa always said, “Learn something new...if you have trouble, try again...if you have double, try again...if you find your task is hard, try again for a reward...oh I just can't wait...cause learnin' is great!” And this was learning, so it was a good idea. He twisted the nob on the stove and put his hand over the part that turned red, just like Papa did sometimes, when all of a sudden his hand wrist was held in a tight grasp and he was being walked backward toward the kitchen doorway. 

Kyle immediately started to cry, more from surprise than fear or pain. Then Daddy was crouched down, bringing his face level with the little boy's. “Never touch that, buddy. It would give you a really really big ouchie. That would make you really sad, and your daddies would be really sad too.” His voice gentled, using his thumbs to brush Kye's tears away, “It's alright, just no touching the stove or anything on it, okay?” 

Kyle shook his head, his crying slowed, turning into some sniffling and hiccups before it completely subsided. Daddy gave him a big hug, “There's my good boy.” He wet the corner of a towel and wiped the boy's face clean. “Did you want to help Daddy?” he asked with soothing excitement. 

The little boy nodded, giggling as Daddy lifted him into the air. “Come on, we need the flying chef to put on the cheese!” He held Kye like a plane, with one arm supporting his torso and the other just above the boy's knees. “First we wash our hands,” he said, leaning Kye forward so that his short arms could reach the anti-bacterial wipes. “Get it all over, get it in between those little fingers!” Daddy said. “There we go. Now we can take a piece of cheese from the stack and put it on the bread.” 

When they were all done with Kye's part, Daddy pulled over the big booster seat and settled the little boy into it and twisted the chair around so that Kye could watch everything. He squealed as Daddy chopped one of the sandwiches into tiny bite-sized pieces and laid them out on the tray. Kye reached out and took a bite, smiling with approval, he nodded, “Umm yumm Daddy, ummm yuuum.” 

And if Daddy was secretly jumping up and down inside to see his little boy being more active and talkative, well...he tried not to show it. He grinned, but no he wouldn't say anything out loud...just so he wouldn't jinx it just yet.


	39. Boo Boos and Band-Aids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kye goes exploring and ends up with a handful of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my updates are subject to more frequent delays, I've had a lot on my plate recently, mainly with helping my Nana get her house winterized. 
> 
> I have a big question for you all: So when people comment, a lot of the time you'll say how bad you feel that poor Kye has so much that he has to struggle with. I sort of am addicted to writing a lot of angst, hurt/comfort, and so I'm wondering; Do you all mind that the poor guy is often in need of lots of comfort? I try not to cross the line into being totally 'whumpy.' by having more comfort than hurt.

Rob leaned over the heap of electronic components, hunting for a wire that he could splice together with the broken bit from their floor lamp. The lamp had a foot pedal that could be used in place of the wall switch when they carried Kyle to bed at night. With Jay holed up in their home office and Kyle curled up on a beanbag chair, there were no distractions to draw Rob's focus away and he'd soon tuned out his surroundings. 

Kyle woke up very slowly, taking deep breaths around his pacifier and reluctantly opening his eyes. He had been dreaming about his daddies, but the details were already too fuzzy to recall. He saw Papa leaning over the dinner table, picking up little things, looking them over, and putting them down again. Twisting his head all around, he couldn't spot Daddy, so he leaned forward and started crawling down the hallway. The carpet was kinda scratchy, even though it was soft, and Kyle took frequent breaks to rest his palms and knees. He paused at the bathroom to fumble with the door handle, but his hand slipped off the child lock around the knob. He fell backward against his daddies' bedroom. His shoulder collided with the door, he was surprised to find it swinging open, and subsequently landed sideways on the ground. He stayed there momentarily debating if this was as worth crying over, then something caught his eye under the daddies' big bed. Continuing with his exploration, he pursued the glinting shiny object poking out between some darkly colored shoe boxes. It was too far under to reach, so he flattened out on the floor and wriggled under the bed, arms outstretched like Superman. His middle fingertip could just about reach and with one extra shimmy he hooked it. It looked kinda like a watch, but instead of being on a strap it was on a long chain. He would show Papa. Papa knew everything about everything...well, except for when Daddy, cause Papa sometimes said, “That man is a mystery to me,” and then laughed. Kyle didn't know why that was funny, but he liked to laugh along with Papa. And now he had a treasure to show Papa; this was gonna be great!

Yeah, this was gonna be the best! (Kyle wriggled his hips side to side.) Yup, this was so cool! (Kyle wriggled harder and pushed backward with his palms.) Uh oh, this was not so fun anymore. He panicked a bit, looking around a little frantically. His head banged against something, and then was when he started a teary whimper that he restrained from progressing into a full cry. Managing to reach a hand up to rub the back of his head, he felt a wooden plank and grabbed a hold of it, giving himself a great shove backward. He was too panicked to pay attention to the prickly scratching against his fingers. With one more shove and some extra foot wiggling, he was back in the light. Just as he reached the cusp of calmness, he put his hands down on the carpet, felt a prick, and pulled them up, which made them hurt even more. That was it! He cried, calling out for Papa. 

In the other room Rob snapped out of his trance and glanced around. He spent a moment trying to reorient himself and resolve the confusion between his expectations and what he was hearing. Wasn't Kye just on his play rug? How could he have gotten down the hall so quickly? Taking a few steps down the hall, he still couldn't quite place where the sound was coming from. The bathroom door was closed, the nursery room was closed, and their bedroom was always clo...oh, it was opened. There was Kye holding his hands out. 

Papa crouched down and nodded as Kyle babbled in half-words, emphasizing every now and then with an intent stare at his hands. “Isss owie, an'...an' Ah Pah, iss dat,” Kye poked at the shiny watch with a toe, “tah ss..ss..sow you, an' cuz you yike it. An'...an'...den aww stuck..an' owwiieee, owie...aww stuck Ah Pah!” After that he stuck out his bottom lip and whimpered. Rob felt guilty that he had to hold back a smile because Kye looked so cute with his lip out and his puppy dog eyes so melodramatically despairing. 

“Uh oh, looks like somebody's got some splinters,” Papa said, which was immediately followed by more adamant babbling by Kyle. “Okay buddy, Papa will help...and Kye will remember not to go climbing under beds, I hope.” Rob reached around Kyle's back and gave him a reassuring rub on the chest. “I'll be right back, give Papa one sec.” 

Kyle nodded, “Ohhkay, owwiee Ah Pah!” he emphasized with a waggle of his hands as if to say, 'Hurry it up!'

Rob snagged a pair of tweezers out of the medicine cabinet behind the bathroom mirror. He was halfway through the door when, on a second thought he snagged a box of Sesame Street band-aids. When he walked back into his room, there was his little boy with his little bottom lip still in a pout. Rob circled around to get seated behind Kyle on the carpet, he cupped his palm gently beneath the back of the boy's right hand, holding it still as he began working with the tweezers. He hadn't even touched the first splinter before Kyle had released a tumult of squeaks. Papa hushed him, then started speaking in a hushed whisper, “You're lucky, these are special tweezers, most don't have a magnifying glass mounted right on top like these do. But Papa had to buy these extra-specially because Daddy is like a splinter magnet. He likes to build things, but he hates to wear gloves, and then I've got to sit down with him an hour later and find all the splinters he's given himself.” He listened as Kyle's crying ceased, sorrow giving way to curiosity as he watched and listened to his calm Papa. “The good thing about a splinter is that it stops hurting as soon as it's pulled out.”

“Is Papa pickin' on me?” came a deep voice from the doorway. Kye looked up to see Daddy leaning against the door frame with arms crossed. 

Kyle smiled and laughed, “Yeah!” 

The corners of Jay's lips turned up, watching the boy's hair flop as he nodded. Then something on the floor caught his eye. “Hey, is that my uncle's old pocket watch? Where did you find it!?” he asked, picking it up and running his thumb over the faded engraving on the back. 

“Foun' it un'er da bed!...ouch!” Startled by whatever Rob had just done to him, Kyle yanked his hand back. 

“Sorry, pal. I think that was the last one, though. Would my good boy like a special band-aid?” Papa suggested. 

Kyle just pouted and held out his hands.

“Okay, how about one Oscar the Grouch for my little grouch?” Papa peeled a small green band-aid and wrapped it around the end of Kyle's finger. “Aaand then a Cookie Monster for my little monster.” He placed a slightly larger blue band-aid on Kye's palm. This continued until the boy's hands were all but covered in an array of brightly colored bandages. Just then, he looked up to see tears in his Daddy's eyes. 

“Now Da Da.” Kye grabbed the box, sorting through his options, which were pretty limited after his Papa's ministrations. 

“Daddy is just happy, baby boy. He's been missing this for a very long time. I thought I'd lost it for good.” Jay crouched on the ground, reaching out to give the little one a hug, but before he could do this, Kye reached up and spread a green and yellow Big Bird band-aid across his Daddy's forehead. 

Daddy chuckled, a single tear fell from each eye as he blinked. He pulled Kye onto his lap, surrounding him with broad arms. “What a sweet boy you are.” He gave his little one a bear hug, then slid one arm under Kye's knees, lifting him into his arms as he stood. “I think you're a wet boy, too.” 

Kyle buried his head under his Daddy's arm. “Uhh uhh...nah wet.” 

“Buddy, you know I can feel that your diaper is full. You always like being changed and getting all fresh and clean.” Daddy assured him. 

“Was stuck...an' a'fray...an'.” Kye cut off what his words, opting to pop his thumb in his mouth. 

“Ah, I see, and you went potty by accident, which was kinda scary, hmm?” Daddy paused at the nursery, making room for Rob to open the door. He rocked Kyle back and forth while Papa laid a fresh sheet on the changing table. “You were scared that you wouldn't be able to get out, but your daddies will always make things better. No matter how scary something seems, we're not going to let anything bad happen.” 

Kyle relaxed as Daddy put him down on the changing table. Daddy softly combed his fingers through the boy's hair, feeling him calm as Rob went through the motions of changing diapers with practiced ease. He closed his eyes, falling into a carefree state, fully trusting his daddies to make everything alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I've really been loving your suggestions. If you don't see them materializing right away, that doesn't mean that they won't be included in future chapters, cause I'll be working them into the plot as I go.


	40. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TIMESTAMP  
> This is a timestamp that fits in the morning after Kyle sees the letter. I hope it starts to clear things up, and as for questions that it poses, well...those will all be answered soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra special thank you to SoupShue and my anonymous friend ;)
> 
> Although most of this is beta'd, there's a bit at the end that wasn't.   
> I know it was a wait and I hope it was worth it.   
> Oh my god....I need to write sooooo much fluff after this.

That night, in a vivid dream, Kyle walked through a stone maze covered with thick moss. He had the kind of vague, suspended sensation that comes in that moment right after someone's walked away and you're newly alone. Standing alone in that maze, he knew that he'd just lost his daddies. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek in fear and anger, blaming himself for letting guard down long enough have gotten so lost. 

The nearby sound of rustling leaves startled him into a run, taking corners so tightly that he risked sliding to the ground. Still he ran, wanting to scream but knowing that making noise would tell all the monsters where to find him. Mind foggy, Kyle tried to remember why they'd come to this place. Up ahead of him was a narrow stream, easy enough to jump over, but he had the sense that whatever else his pursuer was, it wouldn't like the water. He leapt up and landed in a crouch on the far side of the stream, eyes raising to land upon a single, strangely shaped flower growing in the center of the path ahead. 

Kyle reached for the flower, plucked it up and laid it on his palm. It was shaped exactly like a tiny book, smaller than a matchbook, though filled with thousands of tissue thin pages. He could see that there was writing on the pages, but it was much too small to read with naked eyes. Just then, he heard a something growl at him, and the boy held the tiny book in his fist so tightly that the corners stabbed his palm. 

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time that he noticed the color of the walls changing from dark, inky black into a something tan, almost like sandstone. The path narrowed around the next corner, and Kyle slowed as what appeared to be a dead end transformed into a door. He twisted the knob a few times, then shook it and kicked out, but it wouldn't budge. He took a step back and ran hard and straight, concentrating all his force as he slammed into it. That was the last thing he remembered until he opened his eyes to discover that he was staring at a well worn gray sleep shirt.

Rob stood in the path of the boy and looked down at his head of sleep ruffled hair. He could see the telltale bags under his halfway lidded eyes, a sign that he'd had another night of troubled dreams. “Are you alright? Was my little guy making all that noise I heard?” He was surprised to see tears running down the boy's cheeks and falling from the tip of his nose. Okay, his voice was still a little gravelly from just waking, but he didn't think he'd come off all that harsh. “Was it a bad dream?” he asked, careful to speak more gently. 

Kye stood still, wanting to do something, but feeling frozen. His body felt rigid and wrong, like he was bracing himself and floating or falling, he couldn't tell precisely which. When he opened his mouth to say something no sound came out and he bit his lip. His hand hurt. He lifted it to take a look at what he was holding. When he saw what it was Kyle dropped the thing like it had lit on fire. Papa took hold of the throbbing hand in his warm, gentle fingers. The skin looked dented and raw, one spot was bleeding slightly. 

“Okay, alright, this is... it's alright. Papa is right here, it was just a dream. You're home and you're safe and I've got you.” He felt a hand rub against his back as his husband walked past him, circling him to kneel down at Kyle's eye level. 

“Hey now, can you look at Daddy? Let me see those bright eyes.” Jay tilted his head and pulled back Kyle's hair to put himself in the boy's line of sight. Kyle sniffled and leaned forward, burying his face in his Daddy's neck. He still felt unnerved, as if something was still sneaking up behind him. Daddy lifted him up and sat down with him on the edge of the bed. Just then a surprised shout of “aiieeee!” rang out as Papa lifted one foot off the floor while hopping around on the other. Jay felt Kyle go rigid with fright and he squeezed the boy tightly, forcing amusement into his voice as he said, “Silly Papa just stepped on something, that's all. See, he's fine.” 

Jay delivered a look that told Rob he had better convince Kyle that he was alright before the kid became any more upset. Papa leaned down to see what he'd stepped on. His earlier suspicion that he'd seen Kye drop a flash drive on the floor was confirmed when he picked up the object by it's red plastic base. He popped it in his pocket and turned back to face the others, making a show of standing up straight and taking a slight bow. “Ta-da! All better!”

“Ahh beddah?” Kye whispered, absently rubbing his still sore palm against his Daddy's knee. 

“Yup, now let's see about you. Hmm...aaaare your ears okay?” Jay looked at both ears, giving each an appraising tug. “Looks good...two whole ears. Whaaat about your toes? Do you still have all ten?” Kyle sniffed and looked at him with tentative curiosity. 

Papa's voice joined in, “I dunno, I think you'd better count them. You never know when a toe can go running off.” He leaned forward, causing the boy he held to do the same. 

What Kyle didn't know was that his daddies were taking him through one of the grounding exercises that the psychologist had given them some handouts about. They slowly counted each toe aloud, Daddy given the same kind of light squeeze and wiggle that is familiar to any child who's gone through a round of 'This Little Piggy.' When that was done, Daddy prompted him to take a deep breath because, “We'd better make sure those lungs are strong.”

Papa took Kye's unhurt hand in his own and held both their palms over his belly button. “Let's see if you can fill up all the air, down to here. Watch Daddy and do what he does.” 

“First we've gotta fill up our air tank like this.” Jay held his own palm on his stomach and sucked in as much as he could, giving himself a Buddha belly (or as close as a man with such a well-defined abdominal wall can approximate one). Then he blew it all out until he was halfway folded over, “Oooph, and then we blow it all out like the a big bad wolf blowing a house down. Ready?” 

Kyle didn't respond other than to give his Daddy the briefest moment of eye contact, but he followed along, mirroring each action. They convinced him to do this two more times before he leaned back against Papa with a quiet sigh, the kind felt more keenly in the weight of untangling muscles than it is heard in one's voice.

“You're such a good boy, you know that?” Papa praised. “What's say we go have a nice breakfast...with some scrambled eggs and shreddy cheddy cheese? You can even have one of your mashed banana cups if you want.” 

“I yike sheddy cheddy egg!” Kye exclaimed in the way of someone just discovering a common interest with a good friend. 

“Yes, I know you do.” Papa chuckled. “Am I carrying you into the kitchen?” 

“Yeah.” The boy opened, turning to look up at his Papa with open mouthed admiration, or perhaps mesmerized by his display of mind reading acumen. 

Papa pulled him in close and swung them both forward until they were standing upright. “I could eat you up, you're so cute sometimes.” he laughed.   
*  
Breakfast was typical enough, although Jay kept throwing worried glances at Rob. There wasn't much that Rob could do to reciprocate from his position opposite the kitchen island from Jay and Kye. Instead, he swallowed mouthfuls of his toasted egg, sausage, cheese and sriracha sandwich, while mulling over what they'd discussed after Kyle had gone to bed the previous night. It wasn't until then that they'd had a chance to take a closer look at the letter. Huddled together on their bed, their inside legs crossed over the other's, Jay sliced open the envelope. It was at that point that Rob snatched it and turned it over in confusion, “Wait, it wasn't even opened?” 

Jay shook his head, “No...not at all. The edge was torn, but that was it. Unless he was able to steam it open, read it, and reseal it all within about 10 minutes of time...no, he didn't read it.” 

“Well, then that means that if it's this that's got him upset, it must have been something he could tell just from the outside of this envelope then.” Rob righted it and looked at the return address, “Randy Jr. and Amy Lynne Evrett...Grafton, West Virginia? Who the hell lives in Grafton, West Virginia?”

“Isn't it where that lunatic preacher is from? The one who pickets at military funerals and thinks homosexuals cause natural disasters...” Jay aimed a worried glance at Rob, but saw that his husband had pulled out the contents of the envelope and was quickly through the letter. “You have that look...what does it say?” Jay asked. Rob didn't answer, but his jaw was clenched and his face had reddened. 

“This. Is. Fucking. Trash.” Rob said through gritted teeth. 

Jay grabbed the letter and scanned it. The letter was a two page long ode to hate. The repetitive, rambling message said that Kyle was going to hell, the men he was living with were possessed by demons (wow, did he ever called that one!), that they were all going to die of AIDS, and that if any of his friends in the military died then he'd better believe that it was God Almighty killing them. The sickest part of it all was that they kept emphasizing how delighted they were that God Almighty would be wreaking destruction and fulfilling his promises of vengeance. When he was finished reading through the letter, angry tears ran down his face. He stayed silent, unsure of what to say and used to relying on Rob's ability to keep a clear head, even when Jay was far past that point himself. His thoughts must have showed, because in the next moment he was wrapped in his husband's tight embrace. It felt like trying to drag a broken mountain bike up a steep trail; with one person it's awkward, strenuous, shattering work, the kind that can remind a strong man of his very real limitations. But if someone stops to help, there's that freeing moment where the weight is lessened, the climb becomes less daunting, and you feel strong again. That was how he felt in his husband's arms. When the embrace broke off, he wiped his eyes and breathed deeply. He allowed Rob to take his hand and lead the way to their downstairs office. There they sorted through all of the paperwork that they had on Kyle. 

What they put together wasn't much, but it was enough. Randy “R.J.” and Amy Lynne had no association with the boy's biological family, but they clearly had close ties to one of those hate churches. A simple google search of their names revealed that Randy Jr. was son to the founder of The Church of The Lord's Revelations. They didn't come up in any local or statewide police blotters, but a recent series of articles reported that their license to foster children had been revoked after they refused to provide proper medical care to one of their wards. They gist of the incident, as far as they could surmise, involved failing to seek medical attention for a young girl's ear infection. The child had been missing from school for several days and when she returned, a teacher noticed that the girl was constantly rubbing at her ear with a tissue. The school nurse took little time in determining that the infection had caused the ear drum to perforate and leak. The proper authorities were immediately notified, and after a brief and disturbing interview with the fanatical foster parents, all foster children were removed from the home. All this had taken place long after Kyle had lived there, and that was the most disturbing thought of all. 

Jay went to check on Kye while Rob sent off a quick email to their lawyer, requesting a background check on the couple. As far as either of them could tell, the pair of bigots were all hype; declaring the wrath of “God Almighty” while shielded by their picket signs and planted on public sidewalks. Taking the stairs two at a time, Rob caught up with Jay, spending a long while staring down at their sleeping boy. When they finally settled into their own bed, the couple's night was punctuated with restless stirring. As soon as one attained the stillness of deep sleep, the other would twist, toss, and turn until they were both awakened. They had continued in that cycle of unrest until the sudden banging on their bedroom door had dragged their groggy minds back with the stinging crash of returning reality.   
* *  
“Your food's getting cold.” Jay said, quirking his eyebrows with concern. 

Rob sighed, “What? Oh, yeah...I was spacing out I guess.” He watched Jay spoon some more scrambled eggs into Kye's mouth, noticing that his little one actually seemed to be enjoying a moment of contentment. “I think I'll bring my breakfast down to the office and take a look at this..,” he patted the pocket where he'd deposited the little red flash drive, “...if you think you two will be alright up here.”

Jay pursed his lips and nodded, willing his mouth to form a brief smile. “Sure,” he turned to face Kyle, “We'll be be just fine up here, right buddy?” He wiped a the corner of Kye's face with a soft cloth. “We can have a nice warm bottle and rock in the big chair.” 

Downstairs, Rob inserted the flash drive. A single folder labeled 'Journal' popped up, and a double click revealed a list of entries in chronological order. The final entry was dated about a week before they'd first met face to face. He opened the first few and read through the first few lines. Each entry started with, “Dear Mom...” and each entry was slightly longer than the previous. It was a diary written as a collection of letters to his mother, who, as it quickly became clear, had been slain by her schizophrenic husband during a murder-suicide that had nearly claimed Kyle's life. Their little boy had been given the gift and curse of being the sole survivor. Closing out all but the first pages, Rob started at the beginning, while upstairs Jay settled the fragile child into his arms and hummed a lullaby as he held the warm bottle to his lips. 

* *  
By the time that Rob came back upstairs, rain was tapping at the windows. He massaged his stinging eyes with the heels of his hands. It was a good day for rain, he thought, peering out at the dimly sky. He crept up to the living area cautiously in the hope that he wouldn't disturb a special someone's sleep. Kyle was curled up among a nest of blankets in the oversized lounger, only his head and one shoulder visible, thumb suspended between his front teeth. 

Jay was curled up on one end of the sofa, staring at the book balanced on his bended knees. “Mind if I join you?” Rob whispered, slipping under the blanket and cuddling in close. Jay shook his head and put his book on the side table. 

“Do I want to know what was on that memory stick?” Jay wore a look of trepidation and tried to bite back the nauseated roiling in his stomach.

As Rob spoke to his husband, both gazed at the sleeping boy as if he'd been theirs forever. The house wasn't fully awake, appliances that hummed and buzzed with the chores of daily life sat silently idle. Only the wind against the windows interrupted the hushed atmosphere, and even then it seemed to have the paradoxical effect of emphasizing the quiet left in its wake. “It's grim, but not in the way that I expected. He kept a diary, starting his tour on the ship, it was...” he cleared his throat, “He addressed the entries to his Mom. Apologizes a lot that he can't remember much about her. I guess he was just shy of his 3rd birthday when she died. His life sounded so stark, bare of all the people who make it worth living and I think he retreated to his imagination a lot of the time. That's the grim part though, the loneliness or...lack of bonds? And it was the bullies that got to him, the kids his own age who betrayed him, and the adults in his life never stood up for him or taught him how to stand up for himself. I only read bits, it's not really something I think either of us could handle reading at one time. I did a document search for the couple that sent that letter. He doesn't mention them much in his diary, but there were part left no doubt what life was like there.” 

Jay's eyes followed the slow, steady breathing of their resting boy. He didn't think Rob was whispering loudly enough to wake him, but was protecting the sanctity of that rest with vigilance, so a long pause elapsed before Jay realized his husband had stopped talking. “And his injuries, were they...?” 

Rob squeezed his husband's hand, “It seems likely, yes. With the exception of the stab wounds; those were reported in the medical that was completed when he became a ward of the sate.” Rob's face remained hard, the only betrayal of emotion was the slight redness at the end of his nose and corners of his eyes. Another man could have been forgiven for concluding that he was cool and detached, but Jay knew these to be the signs of true pain in his partner. Pain so strong that the older man had to hold it back to prevent being overwhelmed by the flood. 

Feeling selfish, but not knowing what else to do, Jay buried himself inside his husband's arms. “I don't know what to do. Do we read all his private thoughts without asking? Is it worse to pull him out of his mindset just to ask? It's like whatever we do, will hurt him!” He felt his tears soaking into Rob's shirt and felt guilty for being the one who got to break down. 

“Shhh, you're going to work yourself into a panic at this rate. We'll talk with him, pull him out a little ways, make sure he understands enough of what's happening, and that he knows we love him unconditionally. He'll get through it, we all will, I promise you that.” 

Convinced more by Rob's steady heartbeat than his confident voice, Jay looked up at him. “I hope so.” 

“I know so.” Rob answered, and Jay believed him.

*  
Kyle was angry. He did not want to wake up, he did not want to age up, he wanted to be himself; his real self, his little self. 

“It's just for a little while. We'll be as quick as we can.” Papa said. 

“Over before you know it, kiddo.” Daddy agreed. 

Kyle glared at them, pointedly ignoring the clothes Papa was holding up. “Look, I don't like having to go through this either, but it's very important.” Daddy said. 

“Is not!” Kyle fumed, trying very hard not to cry. 

“This simply isn't up for argument.” Papa sighed, “but the sooner we start, the sooner we're finished. Want me to help you?” 

Kyle looked from Papa to Daddy, “Help?” 

“You're never alone love.” Daddy held out a pair of plain white briefs and waited for the boy to draw closer. He helped Kye out of his pajamas, then out of his diaper, and into the briefs. It was painfully slow going, but he knew that Kye was being pulled out of a deep headspace and needed to adjust slowly. 

The briefs felt rough against Kyle's sensitive skin, and the long sleeved shirt was too stiff and rough compared to the softer kids' clothes that he'd grown accustomed to. He wondered if this was what it was like for a hermit crab when it didn't have a shell on. It took conscious effort to remember to breathe. “Was I bad?” he whimpered, 

“Oh god no, not at all. Do you remember what happened this morning, hon?” Seated across from him, Jay grasped one of the boy's hands. Kyle shook his head, he remembered plenty, but he wasn't sure what was the dream and what had been reality. 

“You brought us a memory stick, it had your diary on it.” Jay said.

“Oh.” Whispered the boy, picking at a spot on the carpet. 

“We need you to tell us whether it's alright for us to read it. To be honest, I skimmed it, but whether we really read it is up to you.” Rob explained. He waited for a response, but all Kyle offered was a shrug. “This has to be your decision. Remember you've written some very personal stuff.” 

“Don't care, I don't like this.” Tears started to fall into Kyle's lap, though he didn't bother to wipe them away. 

“Kyle.” Jay interjected. “If we decided to do something that you didn't want, would you tell us? I hope you know that we'll always love you and be there for you no matter what, even if you weren't little.” 

“I did tell you! I told you I..I..I told you I don't like this. You're tired of me being little aren't you? I did something wrong and you're mad and...and I'm too much trouble.” Kye couldn't handle it. They didn't want him anymore. Who would want someone like him? He rocked back and forth, yanking savagely at his own hair. 

“You're a good boy, you know that. We only want to make sure that we're not pressuring you, and that we're not stepping over a line here. We've got to be certain that you know that you can always tell us no, tell us to give you space, to not go digging into your past.” 

“I know!” he cried. Kyle's knuckles were white where they showed between the locks of hair he was tugging. 

Jay turned to Rob, “I don't think he was ready for this. We know he's a bright kid, and he clearly understands that he can say no to us. All we're doing is torturing the poor boy at this point.” 

“Agreed.” Rob stood and came around behind Kyle and with Jay's help, they carefully pried the little fingers free from his hair and drew each of Kye's hands down, crossing his arms over his front in the direction of the opposite back pocket, effectively restraining him from hurting himself. He cried for a few more minutes before starting to calm. “I'm going to let you go and we'll put on your comfy clothes, okay?” 

“Daddy, hold me.” Kye's voice was hoarse in the way that usually meant he was holding back more tears. 

“C'mere buddy, you could do with a bath while we're at it.” 

Daddy helped him off with his awful clothes. It felt weird to still be halfway in his bigger mindset while naked, he usually had at least a diaper on. Kye must have been feeling littler than he thought, because his thumb had already gravitated to his mouth. He gripped Daddy's shirt as he followed him into the bathroom. Papa already had the bathwater running. The crying, and hyperventilating that went along with it, left him dizzy enough that Kyle would have lost his balance as he got into the tub had Daddy not been spotting him from behind. Like a child who falls on their bum and is more frustrated and surprised than hurt, Kye started sobbing again.

“Easy there kiddo, take your time.” Papa soothed. He wet a cool washcloth and gently drew Kyle's hands out of the way as he wiped his eyes and nose. “Hush now, it's okay, you're gonna be fine, I've got you.” Papa rinsed the cloth and cleaned the boy's face again. 

“I'm sorry, I'm so...so...sowwy. You love me? Still....still yuv me?” Kye asked, starting to slip further back again. 

“I do love you. Daddy loves you. We love taking care of you. You're our good boy.” Papa sang.

“And do you know what?” added Daddy.

“Uh uh.” Kye shook his head. 

“Even if you broke every rule ever. Even if you got into lots of trouble, you'd still be our boy and we'd still love you just the same.” 

Kyle didn't respond to that, but he seemed to ponder it for a moment. Then Papa was washing his hair, and he was tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the warm water carry him down to the space where he could be himself again.


	41. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a little vignette that wraps up the first part of the story and leads into the second part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers. Allow me to express my sincere regrets for my long absence. I was ill...and more than that, I kept getting ill over and over until I was constantly exhausted. My last doctor couldn't find anything wrong, so I went on thinking it was all in my head until I was so frustrated that I went to a new doctor. She was so patient and thorough, and ordered every blood test she could think to. The mystery was finally solved; it was a vitamin deficiency! So I felt like crap because my body wasn't able to function normally, and I had no energy because I literally didn't have all the ingredients for my organs to do their jobs. 
> 
> I'm steadily improving on my regimen of insanely high dose vitamins, and I mean doses so high that they sound like my prescription was confused with an order for a herd of elephants. Some days I feel a lot more improved than others, but the trend is always moving in the right direction. For a time I thought I'd never have the energy to write again, because I'd start to fall asleep just brainstorming. 
> 
> I know this update is a short one, but there is more in progress. 
> 
> <3

* * 

Rob and Jay loved watching their little boy sleeping soundly. In the quiet of their bedroom Jay could hear Kye's soft snoring, which was barely more than a sigh. He'd spit out his pacifier and replaced it with his thumb, the next two fingers curled over the tip of his nose. Rob was buried in on of his Sudoku books. He said they helped him to relax, although Jay was convinced that Rob expended more nervous energy chomping on the end of his pencil than he did on the actual puzzles. Each of them were better able to relax with the crib back in the master bedroom. 

Rob put his book down and nudged his elbow into his partner's, “Penny for your thoughts?” 

“Mmm...” Jay grumbled, “I'd rather a hug and a kiss.” He leaned his weight to the side until he collided into Rob. Wrapping one arm around Jay, Rob brought his other hand to the base of Jay's neck, massaging it gently as he drew him in closer. They kissed, first on the lips and then deeper, more lingering, until Rob pulled away and peppered his lover's face with soft kisses. He pulled him into a tight squeeze and they stayed there, relaxing into each other. 

Rob leaned back, drawing Jay to cuddle against him. “Okay, now you owe me some thoughts.”

“I just wanna do everything right and I know there's no 'right thing' to do, but I keep thinking there's some cosmic referee who's up there following every move we make and keeping score.” Jay stared up at the ceiling, letting his eyes lose focus as he leaned his cheek into Rob's caressing fingers. He took a deep breath and sank further into the pillows. 

Rob chuckled and pecked Jay's forehead. Jay twisted his head just far enough to take a teasing nip at his lover's fingertips. “What's so funny?” 

“Babe, you're the atheist who quotes Christopher Hitchens whenever your parents quote the Bible.” Rob searched his mind for the quote he wanted and in a soft whisper said, “'Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.'”

“You remembered all that? You must really love this heathen.” 

 

“I do really love you, my heathen. I love you just the way you are, I love Kye just the way he is. You cannot...ever...be yourself the wrong way. We wake, we try, we're strong, we fall, we fix it, and we move on because we love and we are loved. This is us, you, me, Kye...we decide how we live our lives and watch out world. 'Kay?”

“Yeah,” said Jay. They sank into a comfortable lull, and with Rob running his fingers through his hair, Jay fell into a contented doze. 

* * *  
Kye had been deep asleep, his body felt heavy and fuzzy, like he was curled up in a pile of cuddly puppies. He was warm all over and his eyes were too heavy to open. It couldn't have been morning yet, he didn't feel like he had slept for very long yet. He licked his lips, but both his tongue felt sandy so he smacked his tongue around his mouth. He had a vague sense of motion, like he was on a swing that was slowing to a near stop. A cold draft reached his skin and he started to whimper. 

“Shh, it'll only take another minute.” He heard Daddy say, or was it Papa? 

“Dada, I really tired, don't wanna wake up, time for sleeping a lot more, please; ” Kyle tried to say, but what came out in a thick, groggy murmur sounded something like, “Da... rery tie..no up..seep'n a la mor.” This did not result in his immediate return to the crib, which was very upsetting, because sleeping had felt so so good...better than it had in a long time. 

“It's Papa, my little grumpkin, and I'll put you right back in your cozy blankets as soon as I get you in a fresh diaper.” 

There was a lot Kye had to say about this, but when he opened his mouth all that seemed like it would take so much energy. He whimpered, his hands were at his sides and he thought about bringing a thumb to his lips, but yeah...that would take waay too much energy. Papa musta been magic though, because the nipple to a bottle touched his tongue. A testing swallow revealed it was water, he didn't realize how thirsty he had been, but now he couldn't get it down fast enough. Finally sated, he took a deep breath, yawned, and welcomed the pacifier that found its way into his mouth. He knew he'd never get back to sleep...he was sure of it for a whole minute before he was fast asleep again.


	42. Homeward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I kept trying to get this chapter to be longer, but it felt like everything I wanted to add belonged in the next installment. Hope you enjoy this bit though!

As the days sped on, Kyle returned to the enthusiastic, curious boy that he'd become around his daddies. Even in the moments when he or one of his daddies had a case of crankiness, there was always someone who could lighten the mood again. There was a growing nervous excitement in the air as a big day approached. A hand drawn countdown calendar of construction paper  was populated by rows of carefully drawn squares. Assorted zoo animal stickers filled the boxes; the zebras, monkeys, frogs, bears, elephants and giraffes were romping across the page.

Kye knew it was early morning, judging by the stillness outside. He was buzzing up and down the hall, scooting along on a plastic covered bit of cardboard while singing a nonsense song. Papa emerged from the bathroom clad only in a pair of boxers and the towel hanging over his shoulders. “Hey there little man, watcha doin?” he asked, tapping a toe against the corner of the cardboard.

“Dunno...” Kyle shrugged and had started to scoot away again when he felt a pair of arms lifting him off the floor. “Hey, no fair! Eeee yuck, wet.” At the same time he heard Papa teasing, “You don't know....you don't know?...Well I'll just have to tickle ya 'til you do know!”

Kyle squealed and flapped his legs. He laughed until he was out of breath, but as soon as he had a chance to take a few deep breaths Papa started tickling him all over again. This continued into the master bedroom where Papa playfully rolled Kyle onto the bed.

“Kye honey, is Papa getting into trouble?” Daddy called from down the hall.

Rob held a finger to his lips and shushed with false gravity.

“Yea! Bad Papa!” Kyle answered, squealing as Rob attacked with another round of tickles. Daddy came around the corner and lifted the boy into his arms and declared, “He's mine, you ogre!” Then to Kyle; “Come help your Daddy finish putting together the froggy bed.”

Jay sat his smiling boy on the rug in the guest room and got to work laying the slats along the frame of the small green bed. The footboard was shaped into a pair of webbed feet, while the headboard formed the cartoon style smiling face.  Blue and green bedding was unwrapped and piled on a small new mattress upon which Kyle was soon curled up, sucking his thumb as he watched Daddy work. A clicking tongue, low hums, and half mumbled words, composed Jay's familiar soundtrack of concentration. Kyle's heart smiled every time Daddy turned to flash him a proud, adoring smile. Sometimes the happy boy would beam a smile back and say, “Da da” in a way that meant ' you love me and I love you too.”  

Stopping to pull a long sip of water from a tall glass, Jay breathed deeply and savored what he knew to be the calm before the storm. His eyes stung the way that they always seemed to whenever he woke before dawn. The air of nervous excitement made his hairs feel like they were all standing on end. Too wired to be tired and too sleep deprived to feel quite like himself, he fell into a momentary daze.

“Da da, Diwwin.” Kyle said in a prodding whisper.

Jay came to with a quickly stifled startle. “What's that bud?” He let the sounds replay in his mind again, “Oh, what am I doing? I'm finished with this bed, so now we can put on the mattress and dress it up with those linens...”

“Noo,” Kyle sat up and waved his hand. “Diwwin! Diwwy Diwwin!” He emphasized each syllable. It was frustrating not to be understood, even though Daddy and Papa always tried to check that they heard him right. It seemed like his brain knew how little he really was because the words just came out the way that they wanted to, no matter what he told them to do. So Kyle would think “Dylan” and he would say “Dylan,” except it came out “Diwwin.” He knew his daddies understood because when he was on walk with Papa, and he in the middle of relaying a big important story, a not-so-nice someone who had high heels like skyscrapers and makeup that looked like it was painted on passed by. The not-so-nice someone looked at him and made a face like she was looking at poo and smelling moldy cheese. He was holding Papa's hand and when he saw that not-so-nice look on that not-so-nice person Kyle was glad that he was squeezing his Papa so tightly. He was double glad when Papa spun around with his mad eyes flashing big and dark and said, “Is there a problem?”

The not-so-nice person said, “Whatever, freak.” Kyle thought maybe the person talked a little funny because it sounded like they tried to whisper but it came out too loud.

“Got a problem with what you see and I'll gladly show you a close-up view of the pavement. Or you can walk away and keep off our street.” The not-so-nice person turned red like a tomato and their mouth moved but no more words came out. “That was your cue to get lost.” Papa looked really mad watching the not-so-nice someone hustle away, but when he looked down at Kyle he was smiling again and squeezed his hand.

“Sowwy Papa.” Kyle started to apologize.

“Never Kyle, never ever be sorry for being yourself. You are a good, sweet boy.” Papa knelt down and put a hand over Kyle's heart. Our hearts are like gardens. Some people's hearts are so full of weeds that they can't see anything else. They don't know that your voice is as sweet as daisies, and your smile is bright like a buttercup. They can't see that my love for you is a field of lilacs. Mean people come along and try to stick their weeds in our gardens, but they don't know that there isn't any room because we're too full of love. Hmm?” Papa gave him a big squeeze hug and they started walking again.

“Papa?”

“Yea pal.”

“What kinda fyowwas in Daddy?”

“Oh lots and lots, your Daddy is such a good gardener.”

“Yeah. An' Papa too.”

They'd walked home without a further worry.

“The bed is for Dylan. It's his bed? Remember his mommy sent it to our house so we could put it together here.” Daddy was saying slowly and a little loudly, which was how he sounded when he was repeating himself.

“Huh?” Kyle snapped back to the present and glanced at the phone that was still flashing. He pointed at it. “No Daddy, Diwwin on'na phone.”

“Oh.” Daddy slapped his own forehead and rolled his eyes and reached for his phone. “Good eyes buddy,” he said as he slid his thumb across the screen to answer the call.  
* * *  
Many Hours Earlier:

“Dylan! Did you finish packing your little suitcase?” Mama called from somewhere down the hall. The sound of packing boxes sliding across the floor accompanied her voice.

Dylan looked around his bare room. A pattern of pinholes in the wall was all that remained of the colorful decorations that were so recently rolled up and placed in heavy cardboard tubes. His knees were beginning to sting from staying in the same position for too long. Stalled by indecision, there was no way to choose what would go in his case because whatever was left over would be put in a cardboard box that Mama said might take 2 or 3 weeks to reach their new home, Dylan chewed on his lip. “Almost done.” he called back, putting his lucky socks in the luggage.

“So if I come down there your room won't be a mess, right?”

Dylan recognized Mama's serious business voice. It was never a good idea to fudge the truth when she used that voice. “Prolly don't come down here Mama, 'kay?” he replied with a voice full of optimism.

“Come out here for a sec, mister.” The voice she used was still serious but not angry. Dylan rubbed his knees and brushed an unruly curl out of his eyes. He walked toward the kitchen, surprised at how empty and plain the house looked.

Mama finished labeling a box with permanent marker and then reached an arm out, inviting her little boy in for a hug. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and went to her, leaning into her embrace. “You finish what you can in the next ten minutes and then I'll make the decisions on anything that's left out.” She kissed his forehead, which made it hard to put up a fuss. There wouldn't be any point in arguing once she made up her mind. He couldn't count the number of times she'd repeated the mantra; “love means setting limits.”

In the end, Dylan was only able to decide on a handful of objects before his Mama intervened. She made a strained sigh at his lack of progress, but patiently worked through the heap of books, toys, and clothing on the floor. She had already set aside everything vital in her own carry-on, and Dylan had tried to tackle the task on his own without fussing or fibbing, so the process certainly went in the win column. By the time they left the keys on the counter and instructions for the movers they were still a few minutes ahead of schedule.

“Mama, Mama, Mama! I was good and we're not late and does that mean we get a treat?” Dylan bounced in the backseat.

“That's right. Do you want Oporto?”

“Yea, we probably wanna say goodbye to bondi bites and chicken rappas and churros … and potato bites too. Right?” Dylan said in a sing-song.

“You'll do yourself a stomach ache with all that. Why don't you choose two things that your really want?”

“Because I want everyyyythiiiiing.” Dylan whined.

“We can skip it if you're going to throw an attitude.” Mama deadpanned.

“Okay...okay...sorry, sorry, sorry!” The boy wiggled in his seat and bit into his stuffed tiger.

She glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Dylan's eyes. “Take a breath sweetie. Do you want to talk through our schedule again?”

Dylan took a deep, hitching breath and sniffed, “uh huh.”

Mama took a breath too. “We'll get something to eat and stop for the potty. Then we'll drive to the airport, where we'll check in and...”

“We'll go to a special room, that's more quieter.” The boy bit into his stuffed pal, this time with a smile.

“That's right, we'll go to the first class lounge. Then we'll wait a bit, maybe watch a show on your iPad, until they call us. We'll be together the whole time in our own little space. It will take a long time, but there are beds we can sleep on, games we can play, and even some movies that I know you haven't seen yet.” The car pulled into the first open parking spot and the pair hustled into the restaurant, Dylan's hand held tightly in Kate’s.

* *  
Even with first class perks the check-in process was a bear. Dylan whined and tugged at Mama, testy with a too-full stomach, worn down by a night of restlessness. He settled as they made their way into the lounge, trailing his mama into a small secluded section surrounded by a garden of ferns. Comfortably reclining on a plush sofa, Kate let her little boy snuggle against her side. 

The wait for boarding felt interminable, but when the call came Kate felt unprepared. Sure, the U.S. was home; familiar and comfortable, yet Australia had become a second home. Some irrational corner of her mind questioned if she would still fit in. She'd have to get accustomed to American punctuality again; no more showing up an hour after the stated invitation time for a friend's gathering. Baseball scores reports would replace the absurdly slow paced cricket announcing. Taking a deep breath, she centered her thoughts on the joy of sharing a home with her closest friends in the lifestyle. She picked up her phone and placed a call to Jay over the wi-fi connection, confident he'd put her mind at ease.


	43. Landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment we've been anticipating with baited breath for...admittedly far too long!

Kate sipped at her iced coffee as she waited for Jay to pick up his phone. Dylan slept sprawled out on the main seat, breathing slowly despite the flurry of sound coming from the movie piping through his bright red Disney headphones. She ached to be able to sleep like that, but knew the regrettable cost that would result from disregarding the unavoidable consequences associated with unmitigated jet lag. 

The phone clicked, then after a brief pause. “Hey stranger, how goes the trip so far?” 

“Good ... Dylan is fast asleep for the moment. I stopped for his favorite fast food before we got to the airport. He cycled between anxiety and excitement all morning, but he settled as soon as we were in the air. He looks so angelic when he's asleep, you'd never guess that yesterday he pitched a royal fit over his bedtime. He's so good on his routine, it's the transitions that set him spinning.” A zip scratched open and paper crinkled. “Let's see...I actually made a list of things to tell you. Our flight is on schedule, but if we're late then I'll get us a cab. We haven't changed over our cash yet, so I'm stuck with the credit card until we transfer our accounts back over. Please, if we're ever putting you out, just say the word. I have to thank you both again for being so generous and I'll do everything I can to keep Dylan under control while he's adjusting.”

When Kate paused for a breath, Jay took the opportunity to interject. “Take a step back. How are you doing?” 

She chortled, “Good, actually...yeah I'm good. You'll never believe this, but a friend gifted me this guided meditation album on a lark. I think I might give it a try, except I can't shake this niggling feeling that I'm forgetting to do something, and don't want to relax until I recall what it is.”

“What could you possibly be forgetting to do at 35,000 feet? There's nothing that we can't figure out together once you're here.”

“I don't know, but I'm sure I could figure it out given enough time.” 

“I bet you could, so you might as well take a little break from stressing.” 

Kate groaned, sighed, and reluctantly mumbled that he might be right. 

* *

“But I wanna!” Kyle did a jump-stomp, hopping a half a foot in the air and landed as hard as he could (which wasn't that hard at all). His pouting lip looked like it wanted to follow suit and hit the floor. “You aww no nice!” 

Jay was standing beside the open door, he sighed and took a step back into the family room. He was anxious, and it was a pleasant, expectant kind of anxiety, but it left him feeling slightly on-edge. There was always the option of walking out the door and leaving Rob to deal with the fallout, which wouldn't serve any of them well. He reminded himself that sometimes slowing down saves you the time it would take to correct mistakes made in haste. So he pocketed the keys and sat cross-legged on the carpet. Reaching out his arms, Jay waited for Kyle to come to him. 

“What's going on sweetheart? You were so excited a minute ago.” He rubbed Kyle's back, making slow soothing circles with his palm. 

In a barely audible mumble the boy replied, “...gonna fie away an' go far wifout me or...or....papa.”

“I promise, I'm not going anywhere except to the airport parking lot and back again. I'll tell you what, why don't I give you my passport to hold onto while I run out, that way you know they wouldn't let me fly to a far off place even if I wanted to.” Anticipating Kyle's response, he added, “Which I promise is not what I want to do.”

Rob reached in to pick him up and planted a big kiss on his cheek and said, “Now I need my big helper to make a cake a with me. By the time that we bake it and frost it, I bet everyone will be back.”

Kyle responded by tucking his head under Daddy's chin and offering a small nod. “There's my good boy,” Rob approved. 

* *

Dylan woke up in a daze, rubbed his blurry eyes and waited for his vision to clear. Mommy was sitting up depositing bits of wrappers and other little pieces of rubbish into a plastic shopping bag. He yawned and rode out an involuntary stretch as his stiff body sorted itself out. “Here?” 

“We sure are. I sent a text to Uncle Jay; he's waiting for us at the entrance already. Let's pack up, we'll be the first group off the plane.” She handed Dylan one of their carry-on bags. “Everything should fit in there, but give Mommy the rest of your sandwich and your trail mix.” 

He slid his iPad and headphones into the bag. “You say we're not 'posed to waste.” Mommy tousled his hair, “That's true sweetie, but in this case we're not allowed to take meat or seeds out of the airport, even if we got them on the plane.”

“Oh, okay.” Dylan took a last big bite from the center of his club sandwich and dropped the rest in with the rubbish. Just then his head snapped up to the sound of the 'permission to deplane' announcement' “Oooh, my heart just did a dance, Momma!” He beamed a big smile that made the freckles in his cheeks connect into clusters that emphasized his dimples. 

* *

The little boy skipped and bounced his way through the crowds, holding tightly to his Momma's hand, his curls hopping in rhythm with his body. At the luggage carousel a dog passed by and sniffed at his shoes. He giggled as its cold nose bumped his leg, but it was gone in the next instant. In a blur of motion they had their bags and were passing through customs where a tall muscled man with a friendly smile checked their passports (a quick process for American citizens), and then they were through the crowd. 

There was Jay, arms wide open, and in an instant they were all three embracing. “Here let me take your bags...” he paused, hearing a choked whimper coming from Kate. “Oh love, you must be exhausted.” 

“I'm sorry,” she wiped her eyes with a finger, “I'm really fine.”

He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair, whispering “I know, you've only been on your own for a year, then packed yourself up, and flew back to the other side of the world. Tell me all about how fine you are on our way home.” Then he looked down to Dylan, “Alright, ready Freddy!?” 

“Ready, ready, Freddy Freddy!” Dylan nodded. 

“Hold onto the suitcase with me and don't let go, that way we'll stick together.” Jay instructed. Off they went, destined for home. 

* *   
Kyle was squiggling the sixth color of icing on the now “rainbow scribble cake” as Papa called it, when there was a knock on the door. He dropped the decorating tube on the counter, leaping off the stool, to race to the door. 

Daddy was the first through the threshold, “Hey buddy!” he sang. Looking over the boy's rather colorful shirt he said, “Well, you look like you've been very busy. Are you ready to meet your friends?” 

Suddenly shy, Kye popped his sugary sweet thumb in his mouth. He watched as a pair of hazel eyes peeked out from behind Daddy. They stood staring at each other, then Kyle broke the silence, pointing at Dylan, “ c'puter boy !” he grinned. 

Dylan looked around at the adults, who were watching the interaction with amusement, but giving no clue as to what the appropriate reply would be. He made up his mind, drew his thumb to his chest, and squealed, “That's me, Computer Boy!!” 

None of the adults knew what to expect, they'd discussed several possible scenarios, but they couldn't predict the way it would play out. Then the boys were hugging, the slightly taller Dylan was squeezing Kyle and swaying side to side, and then the smaller boy joined in. When they finally separated, Dylan took Kye's hand and led him over to Kate. Hugging his Mamma, he introduced her, “ 'dis is Mommy, she's the best and the nicest and bestest best!” 

Kate knelt down to greet the little boy. “It's very nice to meet you. Your daddies have told me all about you, and I know that you haven't met many nice mommies, but I hope you'll get to know me and see that some mommies can be good and kind. Her smile was warm and sincere, and although Kyle was attempting to stuff both thumbs in his mouth simultaneously, he really did believe her.

* *


	44. Getting to Know You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who hang in there for these updates, it really does mean a lot to me. I'm kind of at an intersection with it, but can't decide which way to turn and have to get past writers block also. But I'm not giving up on this happy family and its family of fans : )

While Jay saw Kate to her room, Rob reached into the cupboard and paused, looking back at Dylan. “What do you use, sippy cup, a cup with a straw, a regular glass...?” 

“Straw please.” Dylan pointed to a Lion King souvenir cup with a lid and wide bendy straw. 

“And Kye, do you want a drink?” Rob asked. 

“App-pul.” He pointed to the refrigerator and watched Papa take a clean bottle from the dishwasher. When he was offered the filled bottle, Kyle pushed it away, “No. Not!” 

“We'll save it for later then.” Rob casually deposited the drink on a shelf in the refrigerator door.

Kyle whined, “Nooo!” popping his lower lip out in a pout. 

Rob was trying to puzzle out his little boy's behavior when Jay walked back in. “What's up with the baby?” The question elicited an instant squeak of frustration from Kye. 

Dylan cocked his head to the side and poked Kyle's arm, asking in a stage whisper, “Kye, you're not a baby?” His voice carried genuine curiosity. 

“Uh uh. Boy!” The little one nodded. 

“Just as I thought.” Dylan raised a finger in imitation of a detective reaching his eureka moment. Then turned, directing a serious look toward his uncles, “Kye is a boy. You gotta let a boy be a boy, not a baby ... not anything else.” He walked over to open the dishwasher and pointed inside, whispering something in Uncle Rob's ear. A moment later, Kye watched Papa hand Dylan a bottle filled with a couple inches of water.

“Watch this.” Dylan said, sucking down a few sips from the bottle. “See, I'm still a big boy, right?” He scanned the faces in the room. 

Jay smiled, “Absolutely pal.” 

Kyle didn't want his new friend to think he was a dumb little baby … not when he was next to a big boy. He really did want that bottle though, even more so now that he was feeling so self conscious. He looked from Dylan to Daddy to Papa. Reaching out hesitantly for the the bottle of juice that Papa was pulling back out of the fridge, Kyle tested, “Boy … not baby.” 

Before either adult could respond, Dylan gave Kyle a hug. “Don't worry buddy, you're maybe a little boy, but not a baby.”

“Yeh.” Kyle bobbed his head, bashfully sucking on his bottle with an admiring grin. 

“Alright,” Rob interjected, “Do you know what you'd like to do first Dylan? We can show you your room, you can have a snack, watch a movie, play with some toys … what do you think?” 

“Umm...” Dylan hesitated, “Bathroom?” 

Jay chuckled, “ … or that.” He bent down and put one arm on the boy's shoulder, using the opposite hand to point to a door down the hall. “It's right there.” 

A look of panic flashed across Dylan's face; his complexion turning a splotchy red. Rob saw that the boy was about to cry. “Are you okay sweetie?” He asked gently. 

In response Dylan nodded yes, then shook his head no and bit his lip. “I need my backpack.” 

“Okay, that's no problem. It's right on the dining table. Do you need help?” Rob offered. 

Not pausing to answer, the blushing little boy hustled over to his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and rushed toward the bathroom without another word. 

Rob turned and whispered to Jay, “Accident?” 

“No, don't think so. Maybe he was just that desperate to go …?” Jay suggested. 

“With his backpack?” Rob was incredulous. 

Jay shrugged, “ I don't think he needs anything than the occasional Good-Nites at bedtime. And we would have seen if he was wet. I'm thinking though; Kate did mention that she talked with Dylan about something he had been planning to share with us. I don't know what it's about, she said she promised to let him do whatever it is in his own time. I guess that could have something to do with it. I'll ask Kate when she gets up. Why don't we set the boys up with a movie and some popcorn for now?” 

“Pop an' budder an' walls an' gommitt!!” Kyle hopped up to Daddy who swept him into his arms. 

* *


	45. A little confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn something new about our friend Dylan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been forever. I wish this was longer, but we've got a new addition to the family...and wow...I didn't know it was possible to love anyone that much! Kids, huh? 
> 
> Hope this helps a bit while I finish off the next installment.

It was their second day together and the boys were elbows deep in their play-doh creations. Kyle popped a ball of blue dough under the head of a plastic yellow minion character and squished, giggling as the dough popped through the holes in the top, giving it a full head of hair. “You wanna cut my hair?” He asked his friend.

Dylan shook his head to clear the curls hanging over his face, and eyed the hairy creature. “Okay. Here, you can shave my mustache.” He slid over his own minion. 

“Umm, Diwin?” Kyle asked shyly a moment later.

“Uh huh?” 

“I can ask you a thing?” 

“Yeah, course buddy pal.” 

Kyle bit his lip. “You ahhh... sick?” 

“Nuh uh, don't think so.” Dylan was focused on forming a bow tie for Kyle's minion. 

“Oh, good. A'cause you look fraid a use the bafroom a lot.” 

Dylan froze and stared at his hands. He inhaled as if to speak several times, but couldn't form the words. 

“You don' haffa tell me. There's lotsa things I don' know an'. Wif a pal, you can say anyfing or you don' haffa say anyfing, an' your pal can never be mad.” Kyle handed the minion back to his friend. 

“No, I know we're super good buddies. But what if I tell you something and then you don't like me anymore?” Dylan felt his chest tightening at the thought. 

“You were mean a' my daddies?” Kyle scrunched his nose.

“What? No, no, I wasn't never mean.” 

“You sole somefin' from a'sailya?” Kyle was intrigued. 

“No, no, I didn't do anything bad!” Dylan shook his head vigorously.

“So I don' haffa not yike you.” 

“I was born the wrong way anditfeltreallybadandallupsidedownandnowi'maboy.”

“Huh? I don' fink I unnersand.”

Dylan tugged on his hair. “I used to be in a girl body, but in myself was a boy, so now my body is more right. 

“So you were a boy...and now you aw also a boy?” Kye tried to clarify.

Dylan exhaled and looked sheepishly at his friend, “Kinda, yeah.” After a silent moment he added, “So you still like me?” 

“Yeah, 'asides now you wive here ya haffa be my frien'.” Kyle aimed a pointed look at his pal. 

Plastering on a wide grin, Dylan replied, “Good, I guess we can be super bestest friends now.” It felt good to be freed from his secret, but there was still a funny feeling in his tummy. It was like the time that he fell off his skateboard, banged his knee, and was too afraid to look and see if it was bleeding. He thought his friend would still like him in the morning, wasn't just pretending to be nice. He'd taken his armor off and wasn't sure if he should have. 

** 

“Come on boys, it's time to get ready for bed.” Momma Kate said, poking her head into the nursery.

“I'm not tired yet!” Dylan moaned.

“Yea nah seepy. See?!” Kyle sat up straight as a pole and pasted on a bright smile. 

Kate tip-toed around the toy cluttered floor and started to help clean up. The boys followed her example and packed up their dough. Kyle tried to stifle his yawn, but noticed that his eyelids were feeling too heavy to keep holding up. Before he realized it, he was being lifted into someone's arms. 

Daddy rubbed circles over the sleepy boy's back. It's late, so let's get ready for beddie byes. Kyle clinged on to Daddy's shirt, mouthing a bit of the collar to suck like a binkie. 

* *  
Dylan reluctantly allowed his mama to hold his hand as he followed down the hall after her. As soon as they were in his room, the little guy shut the door and dove straight under his covers. His bum stuck out, but his head was buried toward the foot of the bed. “Oh no! Oh no, no, no.” his moan devolved into a grumble. 

Kate placed a loving pat on his rump, bending over so he would be able to hear her through the covers. “What's all this about?” 

“Nuh uh.” Dylan replied. 

The advantage of the boy's face being covered was that it gave Kate the freedom to roll her eyes. Nowadays it was hard to remember a time when it would have been easier to pull teeth than get a straight answer from her boy. It was fine, she reminded herself that in a new situation a little regression to old habits could happen, she'd just have to pull out a few of her old tricks. She tugged lightly on the bed sheets and whispered, “Room for one more down in your burrow, Little Bunny?”

Dropping her glasses on top of the bedside table, she slid forward until her eyes fell on his face. “Honey, you'll give yourself a headache if you keep squeezing your eyes shut like that.” 

That worked. “Momma, your face is green.” 

“So is yours, goofball, we're under a green comforter.” Her smile was subtle but calming. 

Dylan looked up and poked at the fabric. “I don't think it's gonna work out here.”

“No...and why's that?” Kate was unruffled by the dramatics. 

“I told Kyle about me.” Dylan huffed. 

“You mean you told him that you're trans? And what happened?” 

His freckled face wrinkled with concern, “Nothing.”

“If he didn't say or do anything that upset you, then I think you're afraid that'll change tomorrow?”

“Kinda yeah.” He started to chew on his lip, but Kate hushed him and thumbed his lip from between his teeth. 

“You wanted him to like you for you, and that's brave. It's still scary though, huh?” Kate rubbed Dylan's back as he allowed himself to lay flat. “The thing about Kyle is that he really looks up to you. You're setting an example by showing him that it's okay to be honest with your friends. He also reacts very, very quickly, so you would have known right away if he felt any different toward you.”

“You sure?” Kate could feel the tension leaving Dylan even before she answered him. “I promise, my brave boy.”

* *


	46. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter speaks for itself, but it's really about seeing what happens when Dylan has to adjust to a new environment, and how he learns to show he cares.
> 
> There are probably typos, for which I apologize in advance.

Kate warned that Dylan was mischievous and had some trouble curbing his impulses, but he'd been a perfect angel for the first few days all together. They knew it was only a matter of time before a line was crossed, but how it happened was less expected.

“Kyle, do you want to come to the grocery store with me, or stay home with Papa and Auntie Kate?” Daddy asked as he pulled some reusable bags down from a shelf in the entryway closet.

“Wif you.” The little guy replied, before depositing his thumb immediately back into his mouth.

“Come pick out your shoes then, please.” Daddy said, as he slipped on a pair of worn leather boots.

“I wanna come too!” Dylan shouted, hopping up from the couch and nearly toppling over Kyle, who was scooting toward his destination on his bum like an inch worm with thumb still firmly between his lips.

“Careful there, little man. You can come along if you're mommy says it's okay with her. And can you please grab the list of the refrigerator on your way back?” Jay held eye contact with the boy until he nodded yes and ran off, already shouting, “Momma, I'm going shooopiiing!”

Jay rolled his eyes and knelt to help Kye with the neon green laces of his black sneakers. He thought back to the moment when they'd crossed the threshold with this little guy for the first time. Kyle had only gained all of 7 pounds, but it was enough to fill in the hollowness in his cheeks and collar bone. His chest hurt with an all consuming love and adoration for their sweet little one. The moment was broken as a tangle of limbs came careening around the corner.

“Mommy says I can come and that I can buy something wif this if you say I can!” Dylan's freckled hand uncurled to reveal a balled up 5 dollar bill.

Jay sighed, both amused and exasperated, “Alright, hold onto that tight. Put on a jacket, it's windy out.”

“I don't need a jacket, I'm hot.” Dylan whined, while accepting the fleece Jay proffered anyway.

“You were running around 2 seconds ago, and we have the heat on. It's chilly and windy outside, so you need to wear that.”

The boy pulled on the jacket but neglected to zip it, “Okay, I'm ready.” His eyes lingered on his uncle's, questioning if he'd earned a reprimand, and was satisfied when none came.

* *  
The store, not being at its peak business hours, was just the place to trial Dylan's first trip without Kate by his side. They entered by the produce section, Jay pushing the cart, Kyle walking along and holding firmly onto the side, as Dylan began naming all the food he didn’t like. 

“Carrots are too crunchy, you have to chew them for days. Celery tastes okay, but it is tooo staawingy…” 

Kyle stage whispered, which was his average speaking volume in public, “You can haf p, b, an’ waisins on it.” He tried to hand a bundle to his daddy. 

“No...it’s still got stawings.” Dylan argued. Undeterred by the boy’s solid logical premise, Jay took the bundle from Kye and added it to the cart. “You don’t have to eat any then, kiddo.”  
As they moved on, this became a repeating pattern; Dylan would make a declaration, Kyle would offer something that he thought would help, and Jay would make a final ruling. Dylan’s complaints grew strident about halfway through their trip, and Jay realized that he hadn’t been following through on the advice that Kate had given him, which was to be clear and direct when the boy started spiraling. 

“You still have your money, what would you like to spend it on?” Jay asked. 

“Cocoa Pebbles, I got ‘nuff for ‘em.” 

“Okay, why do you go down to the end of this isle and grab them while Kyle helps me reach the Cheerios up here?” Jay suggested. 

Dylan skipped off happily, and Jay took their relative moment of Zen to lift Kye up by the waist so that he could reach the cereal on the top shelf. Kyle dropped the big yellow box into the cart and gave a little cheer for himself. Dylan came hopping back to them, intent holding two boxes, one of which was definitely not cocoa flavored. “I got ya Berry Blasters, buddy,” he said in a voice that was obvious in its intent to sound casual.

“Nice try, I can name the cereals that your buddy will eat on one hand, with fingers left over. So pick one and put the other back.” 

“Fine, but I’m telling Momma on you!” This time Dylan stomped down the aisle. 

Jay chuckled, “He’s always such an angel, I think he must have forgotten his halo at home this time.”  
The trip home was going well, Kyle rode quietly in his car seat while Dylan amused him with invented songs about the silliest things. Jay had only half an ear on the boys as he mentally reviewed the ingredient list for a dinner recipe he wanted to test out. Jay noticed nothing unusual as he slowed and pulled over for a passing ambulance, and was still tuning out most of the singing when he rejoined traffic. He nearly stopped short when an habitual glance in the rear view mirror revealed a look of horror in Kye's eyes. Then he played back the words he'd just heard Dylan singing, “I hope no one is deeeeaaad!!...”

“Dylan! Stop that right now! Why would you sing that?!” Jay's raised voice effectually reversed the sounds in the car as Kyle began wailing and Dylan, who was shocked into silence, had a face that turned bright red.

“What were you thinking!?” Jay was trying not to scare the boy, but he couldn’t fully hide the anger in his eyes. 

Dylan shook his head, “I dunno what I said, I was jus’ sayin’ stuff.” Then, he too broke off into a wail. 

“People, Dylan, real people are probably hurt. You don’t …. It’s not okay to…. There are limits to what you should say out loud. And you have to be an example for Kyle, he gets scared by things that might not bother you.” 

“I’m soooorrrry” Dylan wailed, wiping the snot onto his sleeve. 

“I know you are. Take some breaths and calm down, we’ll be home in a couple minutes.” He said, then turned to pat Kyle’s knee, “Daddy’s right here, everyone’s safe, and we’re going to go right home so Papa can hold you. Why don’t you hold Dylan’s hand until we get there? - Dylan, can you please hold his hand and tell him that you didn’t mean what you were just singing?” 

Bless their hearts, but they did try to make each other feel better in that backseat in their own, wet, sniffly, and unintelligible way.

* *

The door opened and Dylan flew right through, called for his momma, saw her on the couch, and was about to run straight to her when Uncle Rob stopped him short. “Slow down and take off your shoes, Mommy will come over here.” 

As Kate made her way over to join the scene, Jay filled the doorway with Kyle crying and clinging in his arms. A worried look passed from Kate to Jay. 

“Hey buddy, can Papa hold you for a minute? Maybe you can go rock in the big chair with him.” Daddy leaned forward and carefully passed the little guy over. 

Jay looked to Kate, “I’m sorry, we were so close to home that a heads-up call would have taken more time than it was worth.” He looked down at the boy, “Dylan didn’t do something bad, but he acted without thinking, and I’m pretty disappointed in him.” 

Dylan was afraid to look up, he knew he’d made a mistake, but he couldn’t really understand how it happened. He felt like he’d done something terrible even though Uncle Jay said he wasn’t exactly bad. Not knowing what to do, he cried some more and tuned out the conversation over head.

“Come on Mister, we’re going to have a little chat in your room.” Momma pulled Dylan up and supported him on the way to his room. She opened the door and sat on his bed, pulling him sideways into her lap. “Here now, take a tissue and wipe your face. Were you listening to everything your uncle told me just now.” 

Dylan dragged the wipe across his face, his crying slowed to a whimper with scattered hiccoughs. Momma dropped a kiss on his cheek. “Alright love, now I understand that you were getting a bit hyper in the car earlier. You know how we’ve talked about things that could be shocking to others?” Dylan nodded, biting his lip. “Well, your friend saw some very bad things when he was little, and when he hears or sees someone going on about violence it triggers those terrible memories. You see?” 

“Yeah, kinda. But … ‘member how your friend Angela said her triggers were bad wine an’ spoilers for shows? She said your wine was bad an’ she didn’t cry.” 

“Oh honey,” she gave him a warm smile, “not like that. She was joking, but this is serious. Do you understand why?” 

“I think. It’s cuz stuff that doesn’t scare me, can scare Kye, or make him sad?” Dylan crinkled his nose and risked a glance in his momma’s eyes. 

“That’s right, so the first question is what can we do to make this right? Hmm?” 

“We ‘pologize.” 

“Yes, for a start. What do you think would make your friend feel better?” She pressed.

“I dunno, can I ask his daddies?” Dylan was rewarded with a kiss on the head, “I think that’s an excellent idea.”

* *

Kyle was wrapped up in his Rob’s arms, clutching him tightly, his stuffed turtle squished between them.

Dylan cleared his throat and nervously tapped his toe against the carpet, “Um, Unca Rob?”

“Yes, Dylan.” Uncle Rob didn’t sound too happy. 

“I was just wonderin’ what I can do to make him feel better…” Dylan bit his lip and continued tapping the floor with his toe. 

“I think he might want to hear that you didn’t mean what you were saying and that it won’t happen again.” Rob looked down at Kyle, “Do you think so, little man?” 

As soon as Kyle nodded his head, Dylan released a stream of apology and reassurances, “I didn’ know an’ I’m sorry an’ youdon’haffabemyfriend, I made a big mistake, I was makin’ it all up an’ if I’da known you were scared, I never woulda said any of it, and I’ll never say anythin’ scary ever again, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a….stick my foot in my mouth!” 

“Ok.” Kyle said, then after a long pause, “Don’ do dat wif your foot, it weally smewwy.” 

*


	47. A change of mind(set).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my superbly awesome readers!
> 
> I know it's been a while. I've been working on some other projects that I've been hoping to start, but I haven't abandoned Our Little Kye.
> 
> I was struck by a lot of tragedy in the last few months. I lost two people who I loved very much, less than one month apart. One was sudden, and one was a very short and very nasty battle with cancer. Then I've been spending many long weekends away with my sister, nieces, and nephews, who live about 5 hours away. 
> 
> BUT!!! to atone for my sins, I have delivered some much requested, much anticipated regression :-D
> 
> There are bound to be errors, I kept going back to rearrange and edit everything until I had to just let it go and post it as is. <3
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

The nightmares came back again. This time Kyle’s parents were expecting it, they just weren’t able to anticipate how different it could be. It started with a bang. 

Jay dropped his magazine on the coffee table, “Honey, what was that?” 

“Hmm?” Rob was still engrossed with a new app on his tablet. 

“I heard a bang just now.” 

“We probably forgot to lock the screen door shut on the porch. The wind is knocking it open again.”

*Bang* *BAng* *BANg* *BANG*

Jay was up like a shot, rushing to the nursery. “Oh sh*t... it’s the baby.” Rob realized aloud as he leapt up and followed right behind.

They couldn’t fathom how Kyle was still only half awake, eyes mostly lidded, when he was slamming his back against the crib hard enough to make the pictures shake on the wall. Rob and Jay lowered the safety side of the crib in tandem. Jay tried to pick the boy up gently and ended up with a forehead ramming against the corner of his eye. He pulled back, instinctively covering his face and cursing. Rob stepped in. He used one forearm to pin Kyle’s back to the mattress, then rolled him over and lifted him into a bear hug in one quick motion. Urgently he repeated Kyle’s name, begged him to wake up, until both heard and felt the boy take a deep gasp of breath. 

“Shh. You’re safe, you’re home, you’re right here with me.” Rob tried to reassure Kyle, as the little guy turned his efforts toward trying to burrow deeper into his daddy’s embrace. “Hey now, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.” He squeezed his boy as tightly as he felt he could safely do. 

It wasn’t until Jay turned on the lights that Kyle’s eyes popped fully open. “Hi sweetheart, you had a bad dream.” Rob said, brushing the sweat soaked hair from the boy’s forehead. Kyle whined and burrowed back in his Papa’s arms. “You’re soaked through baby, why don’t we get you into some fresh, dry clothes.”

* *

Kyle did not want to be changed. He did not care how yucky or sticky his clothes were, he only wanted to be held. Daddy was saying things like, ‘fresh;’ ‘clean;’ ‘dry;’ and ‘warm,’ but Kyle felt safe wrapped up tightly. When Papa finally pried him free to lay him on the changing mat, the little guy made every ounce of displeasure known. Squirming, whimpering, pushing...none of it made a difference. Papa continued to murmur about being all better soon, they just didn’t get it; he’d feel all better as soon as he was being held tightly again. Hi finally wriggled and twisted so much that Daddy had to hold him still while Papa peeled off his clothes and underwear. There was some more murmuring about accidents and diapers, but Kyle didn’t care about any of that. He was too worked up, too focused on wanting to be held again, that he forgot about begging for big boy undies only a week ago because he was so desperate to be just like Dylan. When he felt a diaper being slipped on for the first time in days, his muscles eased and he drew in a deep, sighing breath. 

This was the first of many nights and evenings marked by similar events, but each time the fighting stopped more quickly, and Kyle’s seeking out the comfort of being held became more insistent. In the mornings they would find him wrapped up in his blankets as if he’d tried to make himself a cocoon. He chose warm bottles rather than sippy cups, and would scoop up handfuls of cold milk and cereal directly into his mouth (though most ended up on his shirt) if left alone to grow impatient.   
* *  
Then one morning...in ran Dylan.

“Unca Jay, Kye won’t share!” He complained while tugging on Jay’s shirt. 

“Dylan, you can see that I’m in the middle of fixing the sink. Why don’t you ask your other uncle for help?”

Dylan chose to ignore the real question. “Becauuuse...I want a turn to watch TV and he’s not letting me.”

Jay continued his task, not needing to pull his head out from under the sink to see where this conversation was headed. “Didn’t your Mommy say no TV today because you refused to eat your lunch.”

“I don’t know.” The boy harumphed, pouting at his inattentive audience.

“I think you do know, little boy. Why don’t you go find a book or something in your craft bin?” 

“Baby Einstein is sooo boring!” He moaned. 

“That shouldn’t matter because you’re not watching TV anyway. Now either you find something to do or I find something for you, and if I find you a task it’s going to be a chore.” Jay warned. 

“Fiiiine.” Dylan stomped. He slumped over to his craft bin and dumped it onto the rug next to Kyle. He would never admit it, but Baby Einstein was better than having no TV at all. Taking out some scented crayons and adding them to the pile of supplies on the rug, Dylan started to work on a picture of a mouse having a birthday party. After checking over his shoulders to make sure there were no adult eyes watching, he started using his free hand to hold a crayon that he was methodically freeing from its paper wrapper with his front teeth. He was nearly finished coloring the page when a shadow fell over him. 

“Boys, what on Earth is going on over here?!” Jay threw his hands up with exasperation. The carpet under Dylan was covered with a confetti of crayon wrappings, which was much less concerning than the small pile of half chewed crayons that had accumulated beneath Kyle. 

Dylan looked up with puppy dog eyes and held out his picture. “Just coloring, Unca Jay.”

Kyle looked up at the same time, continuing to chomp on ‘dark purple’ with a goofy grin on his face. When he saw that Daddy did not look happy, he held the crayon out, offering it to him.

Jay took the crayon and pocketed it in his tool belt. He knelt down, brushed the multicolored crayon crumbs from Kyle’s face, and lifted him up. Without complaint, he wrapped his arms around Daddy, burying his face in his neck.

“Aww, someone’s gonna be grumpy boy soon. All that wax is not good for little tummys. We’re gonna have to be more careful with you now...do some baby proofing of this house. This is the third time I’ve found you chewing on something you shouldn’t be. Yesterday it was a TV remote control.” Jay walked to the bathroom and toed the door open, calling back to Dylan. “Go get a trash bag and start cleaning up that mess. You knew you shouldn’t have been over by the television young man.” 

Thankfully, Kate was arriving back upstairs after finishing a workout in their home gym. “I heard a ruckus, what are they getting into up here?” 

“A certain little boy dumped his craft bin onto the floor, right next to this one.” He indicated Kyle by giving him a kiss on the cheek. “And this little fellow is finding all new ways to get explore his environment, mainly by chomping on anything that looks appealing.”

“Let’s just count our blessings that he hasn’t taken to sticking things up his nose. Believe it or not, Dylan went through a phase like that. We had to pull a LEGO minifigure head out with tweezers once. That about put an end to it.” Kate laughed, then sighed. “Ahh, guess I should go have a talk with my little monster. Are you okay with Kyle?”

“Yea, we’re fine. They’re not toxic. I think the biggest challenge will be getting him to let me brush and floss as thoroughly as I’ll need to.” Jay mused. 

In the bathroom he set Kyle on the counter and made silly faces while applying sparkle toothpaste to a Big Bird toothbrush. “Okay sweetiepie. Can you show me a big smile?” Jay prompted enthusiastically. 

Kyle nodded and grinned. Slowly Jay worked his way through every little tooth and all the tiny bits of yellow, green, purple, gray, pink, baby blue, and, if he had to guess, probably a bit of brick red (Kyle’s current favorite color). He hummed Ed Sheeran songs until he was ready to rinse with mouthwash. Kyle was surprisingly compliant and in good spirits, though he still tried to push away the Dixie cup full of watered down sting-free kid’s mouthwash. Rob had once accidentally used their adult rinse, which packed quite a sting, resulting in a new wariness about swishing with anything he was offered. They’d had to revert to watering down the kid’s mouthwash to the point where it was nearly tasteless, adding just a little bit more each day until they’d made it up to at least half-strength. 

Later, after Rob and Jay had scooped spoonfuls of baby food at dinner, ran a bubble bath, changed two diapers, and wrapped their little up so tightly he was practically swaddled, they agreed that this was a true regression, and one that might be sticking around.


	48. It's not the coughin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dylan catches a cold that spreads it leads to a very unhappy baby and an unexpected opportunity.
> 
>  
> 
> *I wanted to write this chapter with a lot more detail, but at a certain point I had to admit that it was never going to get finished if I kept editing.
> 
> Apologies for typos.

The car door swung out and rebounded with each sneaker clad kick from the boy inside. 

“Dylan, you keep your feet inside or so help me, I will get one of your uncles to come in here and hold you still!” Kate fumed. 

“I’b not goin’ nowhere, I’b not sick.” He pivoted toward a new target, taking his frustrations out on the seat in front. 

“Yeah...” The door shut and Kate appeared in the driver’s seat. “You’ve been ‘not sick’ for nearly a week now.” 

He flopped his head back and groaned, sending a spike of pain behind his eyes. 

***

A late night ad for steam mops played silently on a wall mounted television. Dylan leaned against Kate, fiddling with the mask that she insisted he wear. “Why do I’b gotta wear dis?” He complained. 

“You can get other people sick with your coughing sweetie.” She stroked his sweaty forehead. “It’ll be better soon.”

“Are you sure?” He sniffled.

“I promise, you’ll get some medicine and before you know it we’ll get you all snuggled up in your bed feeling better.”

Double doors swung open and a stocky woman in royal blue scrubs walked through checking her clipboard. “Dylan?” 

Kate stood and pulled her little boy to his feet, placing a protective arm around his shoulder as she followed the nurse to a small exam room where they were left to wait some more. Dylan covered his eyes with the hood of his sweatshirt and tried to rest on the stiff hospital bed. He was just starting to nod off when a knock startled him into a coughing fit. 

A tall man walked in donning a fitted lab coat and the first cheerful face of the night. “Hi, I’m Dr. Singer, and you must be Dylan.” He reached out his hand, but the boy crossed his arms and buried his face between them. “Can I take a quick look at you to see what’s making you sick today?” He tried, but Dylan shook his head. Undeterred, the doctor sat on a wheeled stool and turned toward Kate. “That’s alright, we’ll give him a minute. Can you tell me anything about what’s brought him in?” 

Kate narrowed her eyes, “He’s had a head cold for awhile, congestion, that sort of thing...”

“Mmm...about how long?” 

“Maybe two weeks? He only started with the heavy coughing a few days ago, but he spiked a fever last night and the Tylenol hasn’t touched it. He’s usually bubbly and hyper, so this,” she nodded to the curled up bundle on the bed, “is very concerning.”

The doctor lifted the stethoscope from his neck and wiped the earpieces off with an alcohol swab. “Hey Dylan, have you ever heard your own heartbeat before?” He asked, gliding back over to the bedside. When the reply was a timid shake of the head, the doctor held the device out. “Here, put these over your ears.” 

Dylan listened for a moment as the doctor held the drum of the scope. The rapid thrum of his heart was loud even through the layers of his clothing. 

“Could I have a turn now?” The doctor asked. Dylan nodded and offered the item with a lopsided smile.

“Thank you. How about a couple of nice deep breaths for me?” ...

**  
Rob woke on the couch. He’d intended to get back on his feet as soon as Kyle settled, now the room was filled with hazy hues of a late sunset. Somewhere underneath a pillow his phone was vibrating. He winced with concentration as he freed a hand from under the sleeping boy. It was Kate and he’d narrowly missed the call when a text message popped up saying that she’d be home soon. Knowing he’d be given some guff for it later, Rob couldn’t see much choice other than to text Jay to ask for some help getting their baby to bed. The reply came with the sound of muffled footfalls coming up the stairs. 

“Thanks sweetie. I want him to get into bed before the others get back home.” Rob whispered when Jay appeared in his view. Together they got Kyle settled into Jay’s arms with no more than a little snuffle to suggest that his sleep had been disturbed at all. He was already in his PJs, which made it easy to set him down into the crib. 

“Did he seem warm to you?” Jay asked when they were back in their own room. 

“I couldn’t say, I was roasting wedged into the couch for so long. His cheeks looked kind of rosey now that I think of it.” He tossed a sweaty shirt in the laundry basket and went to the dresser for a new one. 

“I hope he’s not coming down with whatever Dylan has.” 

“Yeah, I know, let’s not jinx it Babe.” 

**  
“Guys, I’b home!!” Dylan called out. He ran over to jump on his uncles who were lounging on the couch. “I’b got bubblegum bedicine!”

“Honey, indoor voice please.” Kate flopped into a recliner. “It’s late, can you go brush your teeth and put on some PJs please?” 

“I’b not tired now.” He moaned. 

“No, you’re not tired, you’re beyond exhausted. If you go get ready like a big boy then we can read any bedtime story you want. Deal?”

“Calvin an’ Hobbes?!?” He hopped up and clapped his hands together. 

“Okay, just a few pages though. Now off you go.” 

Once Dylan was out of earshot, Rob turned his attention to Kate. “How did it go with the doctors? I know how it can sometimes be with him in medical environments.” 

“He did shockingly well. The doctor that saw us was a natural with littles. Dylan was trying his best to put on a brave face, but this guy saw right through it. He was patient, gentle, and even prescribed the flavored medicine.” 

“Wow. I can say with near certainty that before tonight I wouldn’t have thought there were any other medical professionals out there who would be so accepting of a Little. Beyond our friend Leo, of course.” Rob replied. 

“Well then, prepare to have your world expanded, because that doctor left me with something incredible.” Kate slipped her hand into her purse and pulled out a thick, colorful brochure.

Jay wandered into the room, yawning and scratching his head. “What’s the good word? Dylan just told me that he got bubblegum at the hospital.”

Kate rolled her eyes as she stood, handing off the pamphlet to Rob. “You two check this out while I go deal with the little rascal. Who, by the way, did not get bubblegum at the hospital. He’s excited because he gets to take bubblegum flavored antibiotics.”

Rob stretched his arms out inviting his partner to flop down on top of him. When they were settled, Rob spread out the papers. Written in broad letters across the front page was, “the Special Medical Intervention for LittlEs Center” The capitalized letters and the word ‘center’ were in a lighter color blue than the adjacent letters, which had the effect of highlighting the institutions title as ‘The SMILE Center.’ An image of a modern building, with well manicured pathways that led to arched entrances, was printed below the title. 

“What is this and where did Kate get it from?” Jay asked, truly confused. 

“She said the ER doctor gave it to her. I guess he recognized that Dylan was a Little.” Rob shrugged. 

They browsed through the rest of the brochure. It described outpatient services, hospital departments, sibling support, family outreach, and charitable giving. “Accepts all major insurances?” Jay said, “I was questioning if this was some kind of odd prank, but is this place legit?” 

“I dunno, let’s get your laptop and check it out.” Rob was already repositioning himself into an angle from which he could reach out for the computer. He had a feeling that the three of them were in for long night of fascinating google-fueled research. 

**  
A week later the world had turned upside down. 

Kyle was laying on the floor with his head on Jay’s lap, crying in between coughing fits. Dylan was pacing in circles around the dining room table with headphones on listening to his playlist of the Wiggles greatest hits, after going half crazy from the non-stop coughing and crying. Kate was helping Rob pack up suitcases, and Jay was sounding frantic on a phone call while struggling to swallow back his own coughs. 

“He’s coughing so hard that he vomits...yes...fever of 103 for about 12 hours now, that’s up from 101, which it has been for the past couple of days.” Jay relayed to the much calmer presence speaking on the other end of the line while stroking Kyle’s sweaty forehead. “...I can’t thank you enough...we can be there in a little under an hour if we leave soon.” 

“What did they say?” Rob was at Jay’s side the moment the call ended. 

“The triage nurse said that based on the symptoms I reported, they’ll likely admit him. She put our name on a list so that we can buzz in at the entry gate. I guess they’ve got some tight security there, which honestly puts me a little at ease, especially considering how late it’ll be when we get there.” Jay replied. He started to lift Kyle into his arms, but Rob stopped him with a gentle hand to his shoulder. 

“Sweetheart, save your energy, I’ve got him.” Without waiting for a reaction, Rob scooped their little boy into his arms and carried him to the car, Jay following behind with their bags. Kyle wailed and kicked his legs with displeasure at being moved, but clung tightly to his Papa’s neck all the while. “Hush now, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Rob laid the crying boy in his car seat as carefully as he could, but Kyle refused to let go. “Papa has to drive, but Daddy is going to stay right here beside you.” 

On cue, Jay settled a blanket over the miserable boy and buckled him in snuggly. After wiping Kyle’s face clean, he began rubbing slow, gentle circles on the little boy’s heaving chest. Halfway through the car ride the little one had calmed enough that he’d started trying to suck on his thumb, but each time he would panic with the sensation that he couldn’t breathe. Finally, Jay had to grasp both of Kyle’s little digits with one hand while continuing to rub his chest with the free hand. This left him unable to cover his own coughing, but Rob ruefully observed that they’d clearly all been exposed to the same pathogens at that point. “Leave it to you to have an immune system of iron.” Jay sighed. 

Rob was about to reply when he saw a gated entrance dotted with blue and yellow lights.   
**


	49. Hospital Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, but I wanted you all to see that our little guy was going to be okay.   
> My life is super hectic right now. We're in the process of selling our house and moving to a new state 5 hours away. 
> 
> Thanks so much to all of you who keep sticking around and loving this family as much as I do!

An attendant at the lobby entrance asked for their names as the family approached the desk. He took a worried look at the Little in his Daddy’s arms, and swiftly printed out 3 bracelets; 1 white, and 2 blue. “Keep these on at all times. The blue ID bracelets identify you as caregivers and the white identifies him as a patient. For security purposes, you may be asked to show your bracelets to staff while in the building, they can scan these IDs to make sure that you’re family.”

The daddies nodded their thanks and headed down the hallway in the direction the attendant had indicated for the Emergency Department. This particular corridor was decorated with colorful handprints and framed paintings that were clearly the work of Littles. Painted tiles on the floor created a path to various locations. They followed a line of red paw prints that brought them to a glass sliding door. A nurse sitting behind the counter saw them enter and hopped up. The woman was tall and lean, with short blonde hair. “Hi, I’m Heidi. Are you the family that called us a couple hours back?” 

Kyle coughed and whined as he twisted in Rob’s arms. 

“Yes, I think so. I mean, we did call a couple hours back. I’m Jay, and we’ve brought Kyle...oh, and this is Rob.” He explained, accepting the handshake the nurse had offered. 

“Okay, well come on back and we’ll worry about getting you registered once we get a good look at him.” She nodded at Kyle and led them to a heavy set of doors, scanning her card to let them through. 

* *  
It was quieter than any ER they had been in. Jay and Rob had both played Rugby in college, so they had a lot of experience to compare it to. A shrieking sob cut through the peace as Rob tried to lay Kyle down on the hospital bed. “Hey now, I’m not going anywhere. Daddy and I are right here with you. Can you be my brave boy?” 

Kyle’s breathing slowed, but he clung to his Papa’s arm. Rob didn’t try to pull himself free, instead he allowed Jay to slide a chair over for him. The nurse strode back in pushing a cart ahead of her. She pulled out a blood pressure cuff and wrapped it around the little boy’s free arm. “We’re just going to give your arm a big hug, and while we do that, I’m going to take out my magic wand.” She waved an infrared thermometer with a flourish. “I can tap this to your forehead and send happy thoughts right to you!” 

To the astonishment of both his Daddies, Kyle stopped crying and stared at the nurse with rapt attention. His watery blue eyes were focused on her ‘magic wand.’ He didn’t flinch when the blood pressure cuff did its job, nor did he whine when the thermometer touched his head, despite the terrible headache he’d been suffering from. “There we go, what a good boy you are!” The nurse said, and was rewarded with the hint of a smile. 

There were forms to fill out, questions to answer, and tests to undergo, but Kyle was too far gone to be aware of his surroundings as his Daddies did their best to help the doctors. His oxygen was low, his temperature was high, and a portable x-ray confirmed that a nasty case of pneumonia had settled into both lungs. When he woke, it was in a new room, and he was filled with a momentary terror until he blinked the blurriness away from his eyes and saw Daddy and Papa seated beside him. He tried to say something to them, but his chest felt too heavy, and something was rubbing against his nose. When he lifted his arm to pull at the offending object, he realized that his wrist wouldn’t bend. He wanted to raised it in front of his eyes to see what was wrong, but before he could do anything, Daddy reached in and held his hand. 

“Hey there sleepyhead, I’ve missed you.” Daddy leaned in and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. 

Kyle reached up with his free hand to grab Daddy’s hair; something that he’d developed a habit of as his little headspace had regressed. When he couldn’t quite stretch far enough, he remembered that there was still something rubbing at his nose, and he tugged on it. 

Papa reached out and set the annoying object back in place. “Sorry buddy, you need to keep that on, it’s giving your little lungs some extra help.” 

With a pitiable whine, the little one pointed to his immobilized hand and looked questioningly at Papa, and then Daddy. “Look, it’s green, your favorite color.” Daddy said, lifting the bandaged arm. “This is just to keep your arm still while you get all your medicine.” Kyle still didn’t like it, but he was too tired to put up more of a fuss. His eyes scanned his surroundings; trying to grasp where he was. Some part of him knew that it was a hospital, because he was in a big bed with beeping machines and doctors’ names being called over loudspeakers. What he saw didn’t fit at all with what he expected to see. The room had bright blue walls decorated with a mural of elephants marching with balloons held by their trunks. The curtain by his bed was covered with Whinnie the Pooh characters, which matched the blanket that he was tucked beneath. Kyle wanted to try to use his words; he had so many questions to ask, but suddenly he was swept up in a wave of exhaustion, fighting to keep his eyes open. Then Papa was telling him to relax, combing fingers through his hair, and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* *


	50. Rainbow through the clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the healing begin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I didn't edit for typos. I'm up way later than I meant to be and I really wanted to post this tonight :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all the continued comments and kudos. I have the best readers! I feel like we are all a part of Rob, Jay, Kyle, Kate, and Dylan's family.

Rob jerked awake in the fold out chair, brushing off the blanket with a yawn. His eyes pulled back into focus and rested on his partner, who held their sleeping boy’s hand. “How long was I out?” 

Jay checked his watch, “Only a couple of hours. You fell asleep with a magazine in your hands and you didn’t stir at all when I reclined your seat and tucked you in.”

“Thanks, love. How’s the little one doing?” 

“No change, except that his breathing isn’t as labored. They gave him steroids and some sort of breathing treatment through a mask, but he slept through it.”

“He looks more peaceful now.”

“I agree. The past few days he’s been cringing with discomfort even when he was asleep, but he looks a lot more comfortable now.” Jay slipped his hand free, stood and stretched. “Ooph, my back has had enough of that position. I could use a little stretch, would you mind if I went down to the visitors lounge for some coffee?”

“Not at all, I could use the caffeine too.” Rob accepted a chaste kiss and settled in to take the hand of his sleeping boy. He decided that so long as he was quiet, it couldn’t hurt to sing some lullabies. Even if Kyle wasn’t listening, Rob found they helped to soothe his own frayed nerves. He was finishing up ‘Sweet Baby James’ when a willowy young man wheeled a rainbow colored cart up to the open door and rapped his knuckles on the frame. 

“Sorry to interrupt, I’m Stewart, one of the respiratory therapists here. Do you mind if I come in?” 

“No, of course not.” Rob stood and reached over the bed to shake hands.His eyes were drawn to the red tips of Stewart’s short black hair. The rest of the man was decked out in rainbows, from lanyard, to bracelet, to the border of his ID badge. “You’re quite colorful.” It was only meant to be an internal observation, but stress and lack of sleep had left Rob without his usual verbal filter.

“Thanks, I try to be! It can help break the ice with the kiddos, too, which is always a plus.” Stewart smiled and shrugged, then abruptly turned his attention toward the sound of his patient starting to cough. “Hold on just a sec, let’s see if this helps.” He pressed a button on the side of the bed to fold the top half forward. 

“P-aa...aa..paa..aa.” Kyle coughed out, pointing toward the stranger. “Man!” 

Rob nodded, “Yeah baby, he’s here to help take your ouches away.”

“Mmhmm, your Papa is right. Would you like to see some of the toys that I brought?” Asked the nice man with the funny hair. 

Kyle was ready for poking and prodding, or for lots of boring big people talk, but he was completely baffled with that question. He must have been making some kind of funny face too, because Papa giggled. Then Daddy walked in and he talked in the voice that he liked to use when he was pretending to be mad, and said, “Hey, why do I hear laughing in there?” That made Kyle feel bad for the man with the funny hair, so he pointed and rasped, “Dada.”

The man turned to Daddy and said, “Hi, I’m Stewart and I’m from Respiratory. Glad you’re here too, it’ll help for you both to see the exercises that we’ll be introducing today.” He turned back to Kyle, “Do you like to blow bubbles, little man?” 

Rather than reply, the little boy reached out for the bottle of bubble-stuff that the man was pulling from his cart. “Uh oh, not so fast! First we’ve got to put your name on it. Look here, I’ve got a sheet of alphabet stickers, can you help me spell out your name?” 

“Oh...he’s gotten more used to signing than spea…” Jay started to say, but stopped himself short when he caught the interaction already progressing. Kyle had signed the letter “K,” and Stewart hadn’t missed a beat as he reacted, “Aha! A “K” for Kyle, let’s see if you can help me find it.” He held the sheet out for the patient to see. Kyle quickly selected his letter and stuck it to the spot on the bubble bottle that Stewart pointed to. They continued the process for the remaining letters. “Alright, now can you show me how you blow bubbles?” 

Kyle was confused. He thought the bubbles were to take home, he never got to play with them inside, except for the kind in the bathtub. Maybe it was a trick, to see if he was gonna be good. It seemed like an extra special kind of hospital, and you probably had to be extra-specially good to stay there. So he sat still and watched the nice man open the container and dip the wand into the bottle. Kyle even held his lips together and tried not to breathe too hard when the man held the bubble wand out for him. 

“It’s okay, see, just do it like this.” Stewart blew out a stream of bouncing, floating, flying bubbles. 

Kyle laughed and laughed in surprise. It made him cough a little too, but his throat didn’t burn as much as it had at home. This time, when it was offered, he tried blowing some bubbles, right through the middle of the wand like his daddies had taught him before. He only managed to make a few bubbles fly out on his first try, but that was okay because everyone cheered and said what a good boy he was. 

The next toy in the box was a funny little clear container with some pictures painted on the edge and big straw on the end with what looked like a yellow marble inside. Kyle got to choose more stickers to decorate it with, and then Stewart showed him how to work it. “See how on the bottom here there’s some grass, then a flower, a bird, a cloud, and a rainbow? Well, what we want to do is try to get this little sun to fly aaaaall the way up, up, up to the rainbow. To do that, you have to blow nice and hard through the straw. Think you can give it a try?” 

It was hard to do, and the best that Kyle reached was getting the sun up as high as the bird, but Stewart said that was a great start. As much fun as it was to get new toys, his energy was starting to fade, so Kyle felt better when he heard that there was just one more thing left to do. “You’ve gotta pick out some prizes!” The little patient got crayons, 3 rubber dinosaurs, and a green matchbox car. “Now,” Stewart said to Kyle as he prepared to leave after a few minutes of talk with the grown ups, “if you listen when your daddies ask you later to blow some more of those bubbles, and puff the sun in that magic box aaaall the way up, up, up, as far as you can again, then tomorrow I’ll bring some more prizes. Is it a deal?” 

Kyle nodded and bobbed his right fist up and down, enthusiastically signing “yes,” until Stewart and his rainbow cart disappeared through the door. 

“I think we brought him to the right place.” Daddy said to Papa, and bent down to give Kyle a big hug. 

* *


	51. Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi all...
> 
> Life has been crazy. I'm in a new house in a whole new state. I also have some huge personal transitions going on at the moment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, I left it sort of hanging at the end because this is more of a two part chapter that I broke up so that I could at least post some of it for you!

Kate was herding Dylan through the toy store, trying somewhat in vain to keep him focused on his task without touching every colorful object that crossed his path. He was already pulling along a wooden dog on a string, its head bobbing and rubbery tail wagging as it rolled behind him. “How about dat?” He pointed at a game box that featured a person with a pie being smashed in their face. 

“Definitely not.” Kate shook her head and took her little’s free hand. “Come on, there’s a section that has some appropriate choices for presents.”

“But you said I should choose something that I think would be fun!” Dylan argued. 

“Yes. I should have clarified that it has to be something that is not messy. Remember he’s in a hospital bed and your uncle’s say that he’s been feeling much littler than the last time you saw him.” She stopped at a corner display filled with soft, simple toys. “You can choose almost anything from this area.” 

The little boy tapped a finger on his chin and made, ‘hmm...hmmm’s as he browsed, just like his mommy did when she was picking out produce at the grocery store. “How about this?” Dylan held a firefly about the size of his fist. He pressed all the buttons on its belly until music was playing, yellow lights flashed inside its blue wings, and it was vibrating. 

Kate laughed, “I think he’d like that very much, although it might drive his daddies crazy after a while.” 

Dylan quirked his head, “So….yes, no, maybe so?” It was his recently adopted manner of asking for a direct answer. 

“Yes sweetheart, we can get it. Do you want this doggy that you’re walking to come home too?” 

“Am I ‘lowwed to?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

“As a matter of fact you are loud, but you are also a-llowed to get the doggy if you would like.” She ruffled his hair and led the way to the checkout. He blushed and brushed the hair back from his face. 

* *   
“How come my bracelet is purple an’ yours is blue?” Dylan asked as he followed his mommy toward a set of elevators. 

She consulted a listing of departments and pressed a button. “Yours means sibling and mine means family. That way they know we’re both meant to be here. My bracelet lets the staff know it’s okay for me to be with Kyle or with you, it makes it easier to check that we are where we’re supposed to be, and it would also help them know what to do if you got lost.”

Dylan squeezed Kate’s hand. “But I’m not gonna be lost!” 

“Of course not. You’ve been stuck on me like glue today.” She gave him a hug from behind and patted his chest. “My good little monster.”

When they came to the door to Kyle’s room Kate knocked softly pushed it open a few inches. “Anybody home?” She said in a stage whisper.

“Hey buddy, look who’s here.” They heard Jay call, “Come on in, we just woke up from a nap a little while ago.”

Dylan let go of Kate’s hand and ran over to hug his uncles. “Unca Jay, Unca Rob, I’m sorry I gotted Kyle sick. Do you still love me?” He was hiding his face against Rob’s chest and therefore could not see the surprised, confused, and concerned expressions his uncles wore. 

“Oh buddy, of course we love you. It’s not your fault Kye got sick; it’s not anybody’s fault. These things just happen. Germs go around and we all catch them sometimes.” Jay said. 

Rob’s chest rumbled against Dylan’s ear as he added, “True life, Uncle Jay. This time Kyle’s body needed some help fighting off the germs because they got stuck in his lungs. But look, he’s already doing much better. Why don’t you go say hello?” He wiped a tear from Dylan’s cheek and pointed toward the smiling boy sitting up in bed. 

“Hi. I missed you at home. Did you miss me too?” Dylan asked, leaning his top half on the side of the bed. He was using the big brother voice, a high pitched, sweet, sing-song, that he reserved only for his little brother.

Kyle grinned, took an apple slice out of a small plastic cup,which he knocked over in process, and offered it to Dylan. 

“Oh for me? Thanks baby!” He took a small nibble for show and handed the remainder back. “Okay, you have the rest.” 

Up to that point Kyle had mostly been playing with his food, but now he chomped off a big bite and actually swallowed it. 

Jay whispered to Kate, “That’s the most he’s done all morning. He hasn’t had any appetite.”

Dylan noticed something weird then, there was something stuck in Kyle’s nose. Well, he knew that there was an oxygen tube that was for giving some extra air, but there was something else stuck up there that was definitely not part of the air tube. “Here let me get that for you.” He’d reached up and almost grabbed the tube before Uncle Rob was pulling him away. 

“No thank you little dude, that’s not safe.” 

“But...why?” 

“Look at me Dylan. Are you listening?” He waited for the boy’s full eye contact and an earnest nod. “Good. Everything touching your little brother is there for a reason. It’s helping him. That tube goes down to his tummy and gives him a kind of liquid food because right now he’s not eating enough on his own.”

“Maybe it’s cause he’s not hungry?” Dylan shrugged. 

“Well, I think you’re right, he probably isn’t hungry, but that doesn’t mean he can go without food.”

“Because food is fuel.”

“That’s right, and he needs a lot of fuel to get healthy again.” 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Nope. The doctors gave him some sleepy medicine, so he doesn’t even remember it going in.”

Dylan seemed to think everything through for a while and the adults gave him the space to think. After a minute he nodded and looked Uncle Rob in the eyes again. “No touching.”

Rob kissed him on the forehead. “Good boy, thank you for being a good listener. Now I think you brought a present, did you want to see if Kyle will open it?” 

Kate slipped into the chair beside Rob and Jay and leaned in to talk in a low voice. “So what happened?”

“We talked to the doctors a couple of days ago and they shared some concerns about his losing weight. A certain amount of loss is expected, I guess partly because working harder to breathe uses a lot of calories. What we didn’t realize was that he’s back down to the size he was when he first came to us. So they ran some sort of tests and discovered that he has a problem with malabsorption. Only a fraction of what he eats is making its way to his bloodstream.” Jay paused and bit his lip, throwing a glance to Rob, who took that as his cue to continue the explanation. 

“Their best guess based on his scars, in addition to an ultrasound, which was followed by a CT scan… is he had an injury that required surgery to remove some amount of, well...digestive tract, and… yeah… they’re going to work with us to find a way to get him back on track. The feeding tube is a temporary fix, just until he beats the pneumonia.” Rob squeezed Jay’s hand. 

Kate nodded thoughtfully. “You’re doing the right thing, and you’re in ideal place to tackle the problem.” 

The adults turned their attention to the boys. Dylan was demonstrating how all the buttons on the new firefly toy worked, but Kyle was more interested in chewing on the rubbery rings looped through its fabric handle. 

“Speaking of being in the right place, did you receive a call from the Sibling Services department? They asked for your number when we mentioned you were coming for a visit.” Jay said. 

“I’ve been avoiding my voicemail like the plague. I know, it’s a bad habit, but I think at this point my inbox is full.” Kate admitted. 

“No problem, one of the staff said they would drop in today. You’ll stick around for a while?” Rob asked hopefully. 

“Are you crazy? Just try to get rid of me. We’re sticking around for at least a few days. I’ve already made arrangements at a hotel across the way.”


End file.
